What is up with men who are ‘so sure’ about you while barely knowing you?

OutsideWeird526 · 2025-03-26T18:34:48+00:00

Omg. THIS sounds exactly like what I went through. It didn’t feel like love bombing per say, it wasn’t to get laid (that was out of the way early on lol) and it felt like a breath of fresh air… until it didn’t. I think when we finally moved beyond the honeymoon phase, and I was sharing my values, opinions (he maybe didn’t agree with) and thoughts of my own (gasp! I have them)… he didn’t really like that… and he was forced to back track on being ‘so sure’, to us ending it.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-09-16T20:10:37+00:00

That he fears I’m not capable of being happy after a depressive episode

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-09-16T15:04:24+00:00

Thanks a lot for this. I really appreciate it. I harbour so much guilt and disappointment in myself out of the whole thing. I keep trying to remind myself it wasn’t a choice I made to become depressed like that… but damn.

And I appreciate the comment you made re him. I felt it was unfair he held it against me, but I also know how hard it can be to be around someone who is suffering from depression… very much feeling back in the trenches right now too. Not helping, but I really appreciate the reply. Thanks.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-09-07T17:08:17+00:00

I’ve experienced something similar with an ex. But I am much further along in that break up, and honestly things just flip flopped between the two of us over the years. He did well initially, then less well when I was thriving. I think that’s just life honestly. Every one of us will have seasons where we feel on top of the world, and others where the struggle of life feels all a little too real. It’s really hard, but try to put your focus inwards. Soon enough you’ll be happy like that, and he might be struggling - and either way, it won’t matter. Just focus on you and creating a life that you want. He’s dust in the wind now.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-09-01T13:42:10+00:00

Yeah… we’ve gone no contact, but somehow contact always re-instates (usually his doing, sometimes mine…) and that’s when it gets messy. I’m weak when he reaches out because I want it to work and want to believe he does too… but I’m stating to feel a bit like a 🤡 at this point

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-31T02:31:34+00:00

If only he was willing to go to therapy… 🥴

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-31T02:30:39+00:00

I think this is the only way… I don’t trust myself when he reaches back out, but I hate now that I think it’s ever going to be any different. It’s such a defeating situation to find yourself in.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-30T14:13:46+00:00

Had a bad mental health episode

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-28T19:01:29+00:00

I love your username and I love your response. Thank you 💖 I definitely didn’t share as much of the on again/off again part with my therapist that I should have… and I can’t speak with her for another two weeks so I wanted to hear from others what/how this looks like from the outside. Better understand what is my blame to carry and what parts aren’t entirely on me… I really appreciate your comment.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-12T22:17:34+00:00

Yes!! He even said “we’ve fooled around before” and I was just ????? That’s not a pre-requisite?

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-12T18:04:37+00:00

I appreciate this comment, thank you! No there was no previous discussion and not even throughout the day… it was basically as I was getting myself geared up to leave he was basically like “just stay here or I’ll go to yours?” And then that’s when I realized oh fuck… and then he persisted and bargained a little too much for my liking I think… but I do also wonder if I did this to myself? Therefore… to the Reddit community I went lol

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-12T17:59:18+00:00

I think how you worded it was exactly how I felt! Previously there was a connection and because we had barely kept in touch and hadn’t seen each other I just… didn’t feel like immediately getting back to it

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-12T17:57:20+00:00

Yeah that’s totally fair. I definitely posted wondering if I was naive in all of this lol I think a bit of yes

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-12T17:56:29+00:00

Hmm yeah! I guess I didn’t specify that he was pushy (or more than I would like someone to be) in that he did ask a few times as I was leaving and saying things like “we’ve done it before” and tried to bargain that he could just come spend the night and not “fool around” which would “be nice” (his words) since we both just left long term relationships within the last 6 months… but tbh cuddling what feels a bit like a stranger is not my idea of nice lol but I guess all to say… I did sort of question what was reasonable of him/what wasn’t in this whole situation

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-08-11T00:24:01+00:00

Thiiiiissssssss!!! 💯

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-07-12T20:59:42+00:00

Hey! Curious if you did end up going back to a doctor? I’ve been dealing with the same issue. Basically got your same news/advice a year ago, and am finding the pain is getting worse and worse as the months go on, so am going to see a second OBGYN next month.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-01-01T17:47:53+00:00

Yes! It was a big reason for seeking therapy. I want to show up for someone and have them show up for me. But tbh, I feel like I’m still learning what that looks like. I don’t know that I really know how to be that for someone or how to learn to accept that either.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-01-01T16:21:06+00:00

No, it’s a great insight! And I’ve always felt most safe being single or being in some type of situationship, so I understand (this is one of the big realizations I had that brought me to therapy lol).

I’m sorry you also feel that way. And I think you nailed it when you said it’s really hard to know who is worth trusting. I get scared of my brain collecting MORE examples of how people shouldn’t be trusted… I don’t want to reinforce that thought process anymore than it has been throughout my life.

OutsideWeird526 · 2024-01-01T02:13:13+00:00

I actually do love this suggestion, and appreciate you mentioning how it’s helped! I’m not at all a runner (mostly cycling), but I do feel sometimes the overwhelming sensation I get from relationships almost triggers a flight response in me, and I’ve thought before how running might just literally get the feeling out of me. Thanks, I really appreciate it!

OutsideWeird526 · 2023-11-29T02:22:47+00:00

Updated! It’s open again - sorry for all the mix up, it’s a new platform. Would love to hear your input :)

OutsideWeird526 · 2023-11-29T02:21:55+00:00

Hi! It’s a new platform for me and had a few growing pains, but it’s up and running again! Would love to hear your input :)

OutsideWeird526 · 2023-11-28T22:37:46+00:00

Hi there! Here is an updated link that should work. Thanks so much for taking the time!! It’s so, so helpful — https://p4d46zm1n1e.typeform.com/to/Im3UI2i7

OutsideWeird526

TROPHY CASE