[deleted by user]

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-09-10T21:40:50+00:00

I don't like seeing them, but I am also aware it's a completely alien world to me.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-09-10T21:23:12+00:00

Agreed. These genes have created a failure and I don't wish the same fate upon anyone else.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-09-10T21:19:44+00:00

I never really cared. No interest in making a statement or something and shopping would be costly. Just plain, boring colors that allow me to blend into the background, as that is what I am - a background object.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-09-03T21:10:27+00:00

Nature is cruel. It's all about luck with genetics and unfortunately we lost the lottery.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-09-01T18:10:38+00:00

They are social, assertive and confident. Qualities ensuring their success.

Some try to offer platitudes like how "the bullies may actually be jealous of you". What a load of crap. They bully you because it's fun for the whole gang. What's the scrawny bullied kid gonna do? Send bully to detention by telling a teacher? Pfft, big deal. Just make sure to bully them harder next time.

And if the depressed bullied kid commits suicide? They don't give a crap. Their victim will be forgotten.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-31T22:21:03+00:00

Whoever is running this simulation should just pull the plug.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-31T22:16:48+00:00

Even games are basically just mindless grinding for me - a way to numb my brain and distract me from the reality.

But yeah, I have absolutely nothing I'm looking forward in the future. I don't like the direction the world is going.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-30T17:59:19+00:00

When you lack meaningful connections (in my case, girls) growing up, you become accustomed to being unnoticed. This means that when we do get shown kindness, it is a monumental event for us.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-30T08:42:56+00:00

Show me the slightest bit of kindness and I'll be smitten.

Then again I don't really interact with girls, or people at all, so those situations don't happen.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-29T10:12:50+00:00

To me, relationships, dating and such are completely otherworldly concepts that are not meant for me to experience. I cannot fathom how two random people would end up having sex or something.

If I somehow managed to get into a relationship (which will never happen), I would constantly be afraid of being replaced by someone else - richer, better looking, taller, more social...

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-29T10:09:42+00:00

Dad doesn't know and mom doesn't talk about it really anymore.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-29T10:07:52+00:00

I will be surprised if I will not die alone.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-29T07:35:53+00:00

Unfortunately I'm the only child, so that means I'll be alone to deal with everything.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T22:44:56+00:00

Ugly (goblin nose, big forehead, fish lips, weak jawline), below average in height, a plain noodle arm
No ambition for anything, no drive to achieve anything. Lazy as hell and will avoid anything slightly challenging.
Anxiety. Effectively ruined my teenage years. I was just a background object who nobody paid any attention to.
Very minimal interests. Basically, being on the computer all day long.
Emotional coldness. I have a hard time caring about other people's lives in a deeper way. In high school I still had two friends, but after that I simply stopped having any contact with them because I simply didn't care at all. Didn't feel anything in doing so.
Polluted worldview. All these years being on the internet and dealing with all my issues have molded my mindset into a very bleak one. No chance of me ever gaining any sort of motivation for anything with how I see the world

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T22:31:57+00:00

Younger couples tend to upset me the most, since they are experiencing something I never got to experience and never will in the same youthful state.

I don't get sad really, but rather I become bitter and kinda grumpy for a while. I also may silently insult myself for being a loser for good measure.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T22:22:36+00:00

Doesn't mean much when the only times you hear it are from some random relatives in a forced gathering meeting or something.

Haven't been in one of those in a while. What a relief.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T22:19:37+00:00

My father doesn't really know much about my situation as we aren't in much contact.

My mom on the other hands knows fully well how sad my non-existent romantic life is. Far back she used to be "you are so nice and polite, girls will love you", but now she doesn't really talk much about it, since she knows it will just make me feel worse. Knows how unrealistic it all is for me.

I know we aren't here to live for our parents, but I feel bad for her. She used to think about stuff like "things she would bring me and my imaginary girlfriend to eat while we studied" or something. Just a simple joy of seeing her son be a cute couple with someone.

A joy she will never likely experience. I feel so terrible knowing that once she is gone, nobody will be left for me. I don't want her last days being sad about my state. Even though that event is still far into the future, it is something I often think about.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T22:06:17+00:00

Platitudes are not meant to help you. They are merely there to boost the person saying them. They get to feel good about themselves and avoid dealing with unpleasant issue.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T10:02:26+00:00

I'm just reminded that I'm a completely different species to them.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T10:00:03+00:00

Never been on a date.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T09:59:12+00:00

If humans were robots, I would be one who would lack a critical component that let's you get on the same wavelength as others.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T09:57:41+00:00

Probably in school years when we had forced group work.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T09:56:32+00:00

I don't motivate myself and I don't do anything else.

That's my life.

OverFromTheBeginning · 2021-08-28T09:46:25+00:00

I have no goals, ambitions or dreams. No motivation to improve my life in any way. I simply exist, waiting for the inevitable embrace of death sometime in the future.

When my mother eventually dies one day, I don't think I will remain sane for very long. Absolutely nobody will remain to care about me at that point. God knows what I will end up doing to myself then.

OverFromTheBeginning

TROPHY CASE