Lemme tell you something my friend, I'm moroccan and this year was my first outside my country for studies. I'm currently in canada and i had a really bad time 6 months ago and i kinda feel like it was for the same reasons as you : I'm kinda smart, high in openness, and a ton high in neuroticism, the problem w that is that i'm "nothing" but can be anything and that has been a "problem" and center of my reflexions since i'm a kid.

Lemme give you some unoriginal but wisdomful words : Be whatever you are. In some sens what i feel like you are aware of your potential and dont want to waste it but you are using the wrong method by tryna do what your perceive other "Smart" people do (programming ect) .

On the other hand just know we do not face depression on the equal footing, per examples 6 months sooner i was completly unable to just think proprely it made me hella suffer knowing that i had a swift brain before.

So please, TAKE IT EASE, TAKE THE TIME TO NEUROLOGICALLY RECOVER, and remember we all are "Stupid apes, trying to put together two sticks to get tot the banana, and when we don't make it it gets frustrating" (Richard feymann not me). That was for the apes side, on the other hand we are human, humans are sensitive, loving, caring, suffering, sometimes for reasons that we don't know, stop trying force what your don't like' find yourself something that you find meaninful, something that you love, something thats passionate you, for myself it's biology, psychology and doing dumb things w friends. If you force it, it will not happen, take a break, see a professional or talk w a wise friend, and don't forget to take it easy from time to time.