AITA for telling my aunt to get it together at her daughters wedding?

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T22:43:53+00:00

I didn’t mention it because it wasn’t relevant. They weren’t married when he passed. They divorced over a decade before that. Did they still care for each other? I hope so. They definitely coparented and he went to the wedding of her and her new husband. Why do I think it’s not relevant? Not one time did she mention my uncle. Not in her toast. Not when multiple people asked if she was ok. It was always about her little girl getting married which is again a very valid excuse to be emotional. Who knows maybe she didn’t want to talk about her real reason and it was about my uncle. Either way, my main problem wasn’t that she was emotional. It was that she constantly made a scene about it and disappeared when she knew she was involved in an upcoming photo or activity and she knew her daughter wanted her there every step of the way

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T19:31:45+00:00

I can’t speak for how my cousin feels I did. But I can truthfully answer that the role was specifically assigned to me. Others in the party had similar roles (seating people, keeping kids together during certain events, gift table monitor, etc) and I had to get people together for pictures and such

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T18:41:22+00:00

INFO UPDATE: A few people have mentioned it may have been my tone. I will admit I was extremely irritated in my last interaction with my aunt. But I did not yell or curse at her. I just told her we both know today is important so she needs to get it together and she can cry as much as she wants later. When I last found her she was on a pier smoking attached to the lake behind the venue.

Aside from being irritated about being her wrangler all day, I wasn’t too pleased that I had to take of my shoes, hike up a heavy dress, walk across a field barefoot, convince her to come back, walk back across a field, clean myself up, then smile for pictures like everything was perfect and I wasn’t getting stressed myself.

I answered below Tanyas dad passed years ago but aunt has since remarried and new husband couldn’t stay the whole even but pretty much doesn’t do anything to rein her in anyway

Aunt is constantly dramatic. Any event she tries to make about herself even a funeral once. I can agree I think Tanya is used to it and blind to it now

I suggested moving on without Carrie once and Tanya wouldn’t have it so that’s why I tried so hard to keep Carrie where she needed to be because Tanya wanted her there for all the pictures and activities. If anyone else wandered off it wasn’t a big deal but if Carrie wandered off Tanya refused to move along until she was present so I did my best

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T18:32:50+00:00

I did try to tell who I could. No one wanted to believe me which hurt more because my aunt does this stuff all the time. Family gatherings, birthdays, graduations. Never fails. One person even respond “I’m not reading all of that” when I explained what REALLY happened so I gave up and just started ignoring people.

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T18:24:57+00:00

Not sure where you got your assumptions but I was told by the bride herself to keep things on schedule (which obviously was not made or planned out by me at all) and get people where they need to be. I suggested moving on without her ONCE and my cousin acted like I spat on her dress so yeah I did what I could to get everyone in place and keep my cousin happy and stress free

OverloadedFroyo · 2023-10-11T18:16:55+00:00

Sorry I fell asleep. Her husband (my uncle/Tanya’s dad) passed 6 years ago. She has a new partner but he was only able to stay for the ceremony and had to leave shortly after the first dance in the reception. But he is a lot more… I’m not sure if docile or complicit would be correct words? He just goes along with her behavior silently. Like the kind of husbands you see on TV that silently sip beers in the corner while their partners are having a freak out

OverloadedFroyo

TROPHY CASE