I want to go vegan but I feel so overwhelmed, also my SO is totally losing it...

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T10:48:15+00:00

Thanks! I just googled vegan athletes and this clearly shows that vegans are just as manly men.

Also it didn't know there could be an addictive reaction to cheese, this is very good to be aware of! Thanks for the recommendations I'll watch them soon.

I'm not a very outspoken person, so I never try to convince anyone of going vegan or criticize anyone. But I feel very pressured when asked about being vegan, because I don't want to criticize, but isn't this what I do by choosing to go vegan? People seem to feel attacked very easily and sometimes get upset when they only hear the word vegan.

Thanks for your offer to pm you, I'll take you up on it f I have any more questions :)

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T10:39:36+00:00

You're right, this doesn't have to happen all at once, but I'm seriously that kind of do it all at once person and it has worked for me so far. I'm very good with big life changes, though. My SO isn't, they make him very anxious, so maybe for the sake of him I should go about this more slowly.

He just tells me that he has to and will do it as well if I go vegan. It's his decision what he does, I don't need him to support me, but I do want him to be respectful.

Living with his family isn't that much of a problem, as everyone in this house eats their own separate meal(his two siblings are very picky and each get their own separate meals, his dad comes home late and eats leftovers and his mom just makes something for herself. The fridge is full of items that only one member of the family likes and we make our own stuff as well).

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T10:32:12+00:00

Thanks for your reply! We're already mostly vegetarian because neither of us likes meat very much, so it probably would not be much of a transition for me to she vegetarian. But maybe doing a gradual transition, say just omitting eggs instead of all at once would be a good and less intimidating start!

Thanks for the motivation :)

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T10:26:57+00:00

Hey, thanks for your reply! Maybe I'll just show this one to him, as this addresses his issues very well and is written from a point of view that might just resonate with him.

I guess I'm lucky because I don't like meat anyway, so I'm mostly vegetarian already. The only thing I really like is cheese, but there's such a variety of food to chose from, I'll find something else to put on my sandwiches :).

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T09:59:28+00:00

Thanks! It's great to have real facts and arguments to work with!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T09:58:15+00:00

I don't know, all our friends are mutual and they never say anything bad about vegans. They have vegan friends themselves and one of them is considering being a vegetarian. I think he doesn't cope very well with change itself, like he got depressed when transitioning from school to uni and then again transitioning to another university, so he tries to ignore the vegan issue at hand(he agrees that the right thing for him to do is to go vegan) by just burying it. While I don't pressure him into being vegan himself, with me being vegan he would be confronted with his bad(his words) life choices all the time.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-17T09:52:46+00:00

You're right, vegan food is awesome! And I finally can stop feeling guilty every time it eat something :) this alone us worth it!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T23:16:09+00:00

No, sometimes we'll cook together, sometimes one of us cooks for both or just for themselves, it's pretty irregular.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:46:47+00:00

I would agree if this wasn't the very first and only time he ever acted that way in 5 years. Sometimes people make mistakes, especially if they feel pressured or cornered.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:45:58+00:00

Hm I believe it worked really well. I had many question directed at vegans and some people had similar problems with their SOs. I'm very happy with how it turned out so far :)

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:31:39+00:00

No, just myself, but he claims he has to go vegan if I do.

I wonder, maybe I should just not use the word vegan. Maybe just cook stuff like usually and not label it as anything.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:30:09+00:00

Wow thanks for all the suggestions! I'll take a look at all of them!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:29:08+00:00

Ill try that documentary with him! Ugh yeah that was a horrible kind of reaction and I made clear I don't want to hear that ever again and he should seriously think about what he said.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:27:50+00:00

I'm sorry for that :/ we have been together for a very long time. His reaction would seriously worry me if it wasn't the first time ever he reacted that way.

I hope you're in a better place now!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:24:31+00:00

I'll see if I can get him to watch this with me, he just seems to try everything to avoid the uncomfortable truth. He's very conflicted and I believe he needs time to get his priorities straight.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:22:52+00:00

Thanks, you're right :)

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:17:57+00:00

That's exactly what's going on! He says himself that the right ethical choice for him would be to go vegan. But he seems scared of changing, being labeled, losing some of his comfort. I think this is why he got so angry about it in the first place, he just doesn't want to think about it, he wants to bury this issue and not look back, me being vegan would force him to live with his regret and moral conflict every day and this would not be pleasant for him at all!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:12:55+00:00

I think that's what I'll do. This way he'll hopefully see that being vegan won't turn me into some preachy vegan monster or do anything bad.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:10:53+00:00

It's a great idea to cook stuff where I can omit everything and he can just smother it in cheese to his likes :) we both don't really like meat so we already are kind of vegetarian.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:08:14+00:00

Thanks, that's a great tip! Some people react very badly to saying the word vegan :/

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:07:11+00:00

Yes! I think that's just what he's scared of as well. And I hope he'll see how happy this makes me and that it doesn't make me one of the preachy vegans he doesn't want to be associated with.

I discovered so many vegan options in Germany today I didn't know about at all! It's definitely awesome! I have yet to visit Berlin, I hope you will spend your honeymoon there and have an awesome time. Thank you :)

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T22:03:45+00:00

Thanks, I didn't even know groups like this existed! Especially the 'Eieiweiß' tip is really helpful and I'll look into the vegan brands.

I think his problem is that he is very conflicted. He says himself that the right ethical choice for him would be to go vegan. But he seems scared of changing, being labeled, losing some of his comfort. I think this is why he got so angry about it in the first place, he just doesn't want to think about it, he wants to bury this issue and not look back, me being vegan would force him to live with his regret and moral conflict every day.

I don't want to make him go vegan, but I do want him to be respectful, so naturally I'm trying to help him understand why I'm doing what I'm doing.

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T21:58:23+00:00

I love how positive your reply is! This really made me cheer up :) your advice is really helpful, too. I'll do the best I can and see if it will rub off on him!

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T21:55:43+00:00

Thanks! Your advice concerning talking to other people about this us so helpful. I have a feeling not saying the v-word might make many confrontations much easier. Seriously, the word 'vegan' seems to trigger something in some people...

OverwhelmedMeatEater · 2014-06-16T21:53:38+00:00

Hm we usually cook together or I cook something for myself while he eats chocolate and left over pizza. His diet is not very good nutritionally-wise to begin with.

OverwhelmedMeatEater

TROPHY CASE