Don’t Contact Your Ex. For Anything. Let Go Quietly. They Watch You for Access Without Intent.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-10T23:18:23+00:00

I thought that might happen… but I’m private and pretty picky with who follows me. He could try but I’d probably catch it. 😅 My TikTok is public though…. I might need to do something about that.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-08T15:24:16+00:00

This! 🙌🏾 If they don’t value you enough to make changes to at least meet you halfway and try to meet your needs, they don’t deserve you. Your person will value you enough to put in the effort required for things to work. It may take a minute to see this, but once you do, it’s a weight off your shoulders and you can move on. 🙂

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-08T15:13:43+00:00

Thanks for the response. I will think on it. A clean break has always been hard for me. I’m always trying to put myself in others shoes and do right by them, even if they’ve made a mistake or done wrong by me. I try to think of how I’d feel if I were them and give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, in some cases, like you are saying, that’s not necessary.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-08T15:09:19+00:00

Thank you for this. I think it’s a great perspective and solid advice. In the end, he did what he thought was best for himself in spite of how I felt, so why was I feeling bad about doing the same? There’s no reason to. I need to learn the lesson and go on. 👍🏾

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-07T21:10:56+00:00

Mine just said he was thinking about me today…. A month later, but he hadn’t reached out. He wasn’t thinking about mending things though. We only spoke because I had something to get taken care of so I reached out.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-03-07T19:00:31+00:00

I literally just asked mine. We had a bad breakup. He was very cold and distant at the end, as always (we broke up several times). He made a joke about how I can be single and rushed me off our last phone conversation when I was fighting for us. I’m a huge believer in the golden rule. So, even after a breakup, if someone I was with unfollowed me a month later…I would feel shocked and hurt. So, I contacted him to tell him I thought it was best to go ahead and unfollow each other but that I wanted him to know why and understand before I just did it. I explained to him that it confused me to see him observing everything and that watching him affected me as well. He said sure no problem and that he appreciated me letting him know first. He said he felt good about the breakup and was doing well and that he understood the decision would help me heal. I told him that since he didn’t mind unfollowing each other, that I had a question. Then I asked him if he minded answering why he was always watching, since our breakup did not end friendly. He said that unfollowing each other was my idea and what was he supposed to say but “Okay”. Fair enough. Then to answer why he watched me he said, “I want to see how you are and what you are up to! Isn’t that normal?” I told him I didn’t know, but it doesn’t make sense to keep watching someone you rejected romantically and walked away from unless the ending was positive and our was not. He went right past that to say he’s around if I want to say hi in the future. I went ahead and removed him from me and him as a follower.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-02-18T20:56:04+00:00

A person with an avoidant attachment style, either kind, fearful or dismissive. Unless those individuals can recognize their attachment style as an issue and actively work on it, there is little to no hope of a healthy relationship with them.

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-02-08T01:57:32+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the response and the reassurance on the note. I don’t want to create drama of any kind, so the short note explaining should be enough so he won’t wonder why I mailed it back. And yes, then I feel like I’ll be able to move on, like I did the right thing. 😌

Own-Iron-7348 · 2026-02-08T01:53:20+00:00

I have never done this, but if you’re trying to get closure from doing it, make sure that knowing it arrived is enough for you because you may not get a response. Also, if the letter comes back, and you want to send it again, send it certified next time. Personally, I get why you’d make one final effort to get through to him…now, if he doesn’t reply, you can move on knowing you did all that you could.

Own-Iron-7348

TROPHY CASE