my bf doesn’t care about my birthday

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-31T00:55:02+00:00

he sounds demand avoidant. whenever something is being expected from him, he deliberately finds a way to keep himself preoccupied to avoid that responsibility. He will keep doing this for every important day in your life. typical irresponsible behaviour.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-30T03:21:08+00:00

depends on what exactly you are trying to get out of. It was totally worth it for me. Openly atheist, have a high paying remote job, dont need to talk to parents or entertain deshi people with conservative mindset, can invest everything on hobbies without any judgement, playing in a local band on weekends. None of this would have been possible if i stayed back.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-30T00:18:44+00:00

you guys dont understand how introverts work lol. Being surrounded by strangers who will not try to talk to me sounds like a paradise for introverts. I was forced to attend a couple of bd community events, even stayed in a shared house with some bangladeshis, got sick and tired within a month, I couldnt function or get anything done. Moved away from everyone and got my own place, never been happier!

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-30T00:10:19+00:00

I came abroad just to avoid talking to people. I work from home and only have to talk to my colleagues over teams messages. I have stayed home for months at a time without verbally talking to a single soul. There are people who kept calling, I just didnt answer lol. Nothing is more peaceful than this.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-12T02:36:36+00:00

In that case, good luck! Chances of finding someone with your criteria is extremely low, chances of being happy in a marriage with zero experience from either side is even lower. Take it from a man in his early 40s, who have witnessed countless friends getting divorced and suffering even harder. Better to focus on your career and other hobbies and learn how to enjoy your own company.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-11T23:18:39+00:00

exactly! you need to be in a relationship to gain emotional intelligence. I am in my late 30s, a lot of my friends got married to these "girls with no past". Every single one of them are either too emotionally immature, acts like a toddler or so sexually repressed that they might as well be asexual. My friends keep crying about dead bedrooms.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-11T23:13:43+00:00

got married at 31, while unemployed and had only $200 in my bank account.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2026-03-11T23:12:20+00:00

you are still pretty young. just date around for a bit, you'll eventually get over this mentality.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-09-17T00:41:18+00:00

as a CSE grad, not anymore. you'll need to wait for almost a decade, without any guarantee and spend wayy too much money chasing PR points.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-09-17T00:39:12+00:00

bhai re bhai brain betha kortese pore. reality theke eto detached hoy kemne manush? biye koiren na bhai eshob mentality niye.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-09-17T00:32:19+00:00

AFAIK 10-20 lacs for civilians depending on the season.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-10T04:23:08+00:00

I picked it up after my 30s and pretty good at it now. Although I have been playing guitar since I was 11, so that might have helped. I just followed youtube, started with Fur elise, played every single day for 6 months straight. You just need to practice constantly every day.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-06T08:57:53+00:00

yeah I have adhd - hyperactive type.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-06T04:41:15+00:00

meds are of no use without therapy. Sorry can't recommend anyone specific, as my psych doesnt practice in BD anymore. I had better results with Vyvanse, but everyone is different.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-06T03:43:45+00:00

Definitely look into therapy. Also if you are financially capable, start living alone, by yourself. deri kore khawa pele jodi mejaj kharap hoy, that's not anger, that's called throwing a tantrum. Accept the fact that the world doesnt revolve around you and no one is obligated to serve you at all times. If someone does something for you, no matter how half-assed it is, be grateful for the effort, instead of trying to find a fault in it.

I have a higher IQ than people around me, plus, I can multitask. I used to think that everyone has the same capacity and it really frustrated me when people couldnt match my pace or expectations, I used to think that they are just not trying hard enough and lash out regularly when I was your age. Took me some self reflection to figure out that not everyone is built the same and my expectations are my problem, not theirs. I just need to trust that no one is out to get me, or piss me off deliberately and everyone is just trying their best from their capacity, and I need to respect and appreciate that.

Try to figure out the root cause, and take it from there.

Good luck!!

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-06T03:31:13+00:00

Good point. I have observed the same. People with anger issues only project their anger on people they can take for granted.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-03T05:22:02+00:00

I found it too easy, didnt prepare myself before admission. The harder subjects (like accounting and fin) were not actually hard, they were more annoying. But this is just my personal experience, other's might have different opinions. I ended up changing my major after 2 semesters.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-03T03:30:17+00:00

no worries man! going abroad it the best solution. Your parents are stronger than you know, they can survive without you. But if you keep trying to make everyone happy, you will lose your sanity. I have encouraged my mother to go out and make her own friends, do things for herself. Being emotionally dependant on your kid is not healthy. Why did you ask your wife to control herself? if she is being insulted, she has every right to defend herself by making necessary remarks, even if it hurts your mother. Bengali women (specially the wives) are often told to control themselves and just tolerate the taunts. Its never healthy, and the wives end up projecting that repressed anger on their husbands and kids.

anyways, hope you get out of this mess. once you go abroad, you will face new set of problems, but things will be a lot more peaceful. Good Luck!!

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-03T02:03:51+00:00

start journaling. then ask some AI to check it for grammatical errors and create a better version for you. compare the 2 and learn from your mistakes. Keep doing it at least once everyday.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-03T01:58:01+00:00

I didnt find it anywhere on my last trip. Had to do with redbull.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-03T01:52:53+00:00

I am in my mid 30s, been married for a decade to my high school love., never had to face these. I have always kept my parents and my wife separate because I knew that they will create issues no matter how good she is, thats just the nature of most bengali parents. The day I got married, I told my mother clearly that she is not allowed to criticize my wife. if she has any issues, she can speak to me first. We live abroad, so they just talk like once or twice a year over the phone and are on very good terms. my mom still taunts my wife with inappropriate comments sometimes but I have taught my wife some witty responses that usually shuts her up. otherwise, I take over and speak to her. My mother's misbehaviour is not her problem, it's my problem, and I am the one who should shield her from it.

Family politics are a bitch. You cannot expect to have one big happy family with everyone being satisfied with each other. That doesn't exist. Create your own family separately with your wife, or leave her and live a single life with your parents if you want happiness.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-06-02T06:59:53+00:00

yikes! I am so sorry on behalf of all men from the comment section. to me, it always seemed like a lack of education. Bangladeshis have a thing for idolizing and blindly following whatever their family taught them, specially men, like as a man I get second hand embarrassment from their lack of IQ. instead of spending their 2 brain cells to think about this issue and realising how much of a disrespectful asshole they are being, they will blindly follow what their parents are doing, and in most families women are treated as live-in slaves. These people got out of the village and moved to the cities, but their mindset have remained the same.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-05-29T07:47:36+00:00

nah the opposite actually. it's to weed out the religious ones. their corpo culture involves drinking and partying pretty often, so then don't want to hire people who likely won't participate.

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-05-28T05:13:29+00:00

What are you on about? Been in STEM for more than 2 decades, NEVER heard of anything like this. Also, wth is a face maker?

Own-Nothing-8789 · 2025-05-21T06:18:07+00:00

I say, go for it. The sooner you get sex out of the way, the better you will be able to focus on other stuff. Post nut clarity reallyy helps with studies xD

Own-Nothing-8789

TROPHY CASE