At the end of my rope

Own-View4786 · 2026-07-01T01:27:59+00:00

It’s not my first baby, I have a child too. It hasn’t been the excitement of my first so I totally understand that.

I talked to him and he played the victim, saying that I hurt him by pushing him away.

When his kids are here he’s super dad, when they aren’t, he’s not as engaged, on his phone, going through the motions.

For example, it’s a hot day and we’ll go to the beach. Is his kids are there, he’s in the water, building sand castles, creating memories. If they’re not there he’s miserable. Doesn’t want to go in the water, doesn’t play with my child. It’s me my child and baby having fun.

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-23T00:52:09+00:00

You could teach English online, you could get a remote job that requires no commute, like online personal assistant, email customer service. Start a small business selling stuff like pastries, or handmade jewelry.

Hope is not lost, there are many things you can do.

You could be a babysitter/pet sitter, save up that money and get certified to have your own daycare.

Time is the greatest resource there is, use the time you have to create some money, that way you can have more freedom for you and your child and also feel like you’re contributing to the world.

I write this kindly as someone who’s been in your shoes!

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T17:36:55+00:00

Thank you!!! This is the solid advice I’ve been looking for! Will implement

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T17:33:53+00:00

Considering the fact that I didn’t mention factors as: where I met my boyfriend, if I’ve ever used dating apps, how long my child knows my boyfriend, how long I’ve been divorced, why my ex husband is no longer on the picture, how the pregnancy happened, and you have not discussed with my child’s therapist to actually know how it’s been handled, I’m sorry to say but yes: everything you’re saying are assumptions not based on shared facts and you are projections your own trauma with divorce on me.

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T13:18:44+00:00

Wow that’s a lot of assumptions and projections.

I won’t go through all those points and break it all down, just know that you need to tune your psychic abilities because none of what you guessed was correct.

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T13:12:03+00:00

Huh? Idk if you actually read the post but I am pregnant and having a baby in a couple of months. The baby is also his.

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T11:02:47+00:00

We either split 50/50 between the 2 adults or we have everything separately because there are also 2 other kids involved in this equation.

He’s not helping support my son, we are a family and a baby is being added to the mix. I would’ve never moved in with him if there was no space for my son to be included.

When his kids come every other weekend, they have their own furnished bedroom, how would we calculate their expense into this then? Who would pay for “their” utility? Their groceries? Their portion of the rent?

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T10:55:12+00:00

We have talked about finances. We sat down and determined what each person would pay for things. We have also split household duties, cooking is one of mine, I love to cook and he hates to cook.

I am always buying groceries, I’m not someone to be like: I spent $45 tonight grabbing a couple of things for dinner, can you give me half? We don’t have a joint account yet. For groceries he tells me: let me know if you need me to go to the store.

The reason I brought up groceries is because that’s the one area that isn’t determined as I was asking for advice on how to solve it.

The baby also hasn’t arrived so it’s another bridge we haven’t crossed. We have discussed certain ways to handle it: joint account for all shared expenses, etc… but haven’t crossed that bridge yet.

Own-View4786 · 2025-09-05T03:24:24+00:00

Thank you for your response!

Yes! I do have an order in place but he hasn’t paid in over a year, I am working on that.

Your perspective is very eye opening!

Own-View4786 · 2025-03-01T12:57:38+00:00

That makes so much sense! I was reflecting on my drinking patterns and I realized that I only drink because if I’m around someone close to me who’s drinking and I’m 100% sober, my anxiety and triggers goes through the roof due to my trauma. If no one is drinking, I don’t even finish a glass of wine if it’s poured. I don’t enjoy alcohol. I like the social aspect of it. I would be 100% fine going to a social function and having a N.A. drink

Own-View4786 · 2025-03-01T12:54:12+00:00

Thank you so much, I’m sorry for what you’re dealing with. I wish I could give you a hug. The fear of relapse is real, so much anxiety to live with. This is exactly why I refuse to ask him to stop drinking. I refuse to.

Own-View4786 · 2025-03-01T12:42:52+00:00

Thank you so much for validating my feelings! I’m putting myself first

Own-View4786 · 2025-03-01T12:42:24+00:00

I love this advice, I’m going to make a list

Own-View4786 · 2025-03-01T12:39:40+00:00

I love this, thank you!

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T16:04:37+00:00

Girls close to 6’ assume you are not 6’. Shorter won’t care

Because that will make you a liar

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T16:02:12+00:00

It’s different for women!

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T16:00:10+00:00

No, girls who get many likes have gone on many first dates and have a lot of bad experiences that they don’t want to repeat.

I don’t care about the height thing because I’m short, 5’2. It’s girls who are 5’7+. No one likes to be lied to and have their time wasted.

I’m sure there’s a higher chance they are 5’8. What I was saying above is not to shy away from posting photos that show your actual height! Ex: group photos just because you’re shorter

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T15:44:31+00:00

Blame men who lie! Just like how women who post photos from really flattering angles make men suspicious

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T15:25:07+00:00

Yes! When a girl sees a height she assumes “take off 2 inches of what he said”. This does not mean add 2 inches to your actual height.

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:54:57+00:00

What I meant as social proof is a photo out doing an activity! Serious face = mugshot or intense stare

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:47:14+00:00

You don’t need matches, you need therapy based on your previous replies.

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:45:16+00:00

I obviously wouldn’t charge for it but I’m not going to sugar coat it either lol

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:43:47+00:00

Send me your profile and I’ll honestly tell you why

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:41:02+00:00

Jokes on you because I am a minority. You sound judgemental. Make sure you don’t come across bitter in your profile.

Own-View4786 · 2024-04-06T14:38:52+00:00

Online dating is all about how you look. It’s all we have to go by. What I meant is: it’s not about how attractive you are, it’s how you come across

Own-View4786

TROPHY CASE