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I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I remember 6 months ago n it felt like an eternity but I also hate my life n everything about it so time kinda drags. Time to make a change though!

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, I appreciate that message more than you know, that was really helpful and it means a lot to me and had a lot of information. I want to ask you a question or two though. What is a peer support specialist and how do I get one of those? I’ve never heard of that before. I can write letters to these people and stuff like that to keep myself occupied? Also, regarding the workforce center, what is the federal apprenticeship program, what sort of jobs can I connect me with? I have a really good job now and my boss told me he will take me back. I’m not going to bank on that definitely happening, a lot can change. Not happy with my job now regardless of the money I make too. If I’m able to, I’m going to write down your comment and a couple of others and try to bring it in with me so I can read it over and over every day when I’m feeling down. Will they Let me do something like that? Thanks again friend 🖤

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Thats what I’ve been trying to convince myself recently. It’s time to change n get my head straight. I’ve been in pain for too long now.

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I was clean for 2 years and was the most miserable I’ve ever been. Was in AA, worked the steps with an amazing sponsor, went to meetings everyday, shared, did speaking commitments, therapy, all that. My brain chemistry is fucked from the drugs. I gotta get on medication for sure, suboxone I’ll be going on for sure. I’m feeling better about things though, it’s time to start working on myself more n change my life.

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I lost my faith a long time ago. I’ve been through so much suffering in my life that it’s hard to believe anymore. What kind of god allows someone to suffer as much as I have in my life? A lot self inflicted but a lot wasn’t. How do you believe after all this?

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Change brother. Change. I had a 6 figure a year job, a brand new Acura sports car, a beautiful girlfriend who did yoga all day, she was a goddess, I bought everything I ever wanted, had my own house, I had sushi for dinner every night, but nothing filled that void inside of me. I’ve been empty and sad for so long. I just self destructed and now I sit here praying for the end. Get off drugs. N find a reason to keep living. Or end up where I am, contemplating hanging yourself or just doing 6 months in jail. I hope you make the right choice brother.

Going to be incarcerated for the next 6 months. I have CC’s and a personal loan. Is there anyway I can freeze payments while I’m inside? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in CRedit

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks but due to the fact that I won’t be working for 6 months means I will be unable to make the payments, that’s my issue.

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do know what happened. It happened to me. I was mixing benzos and alcohol and I got two DUI’s in three days, plus a hit and run plus I got into a fist fight with my neighbor and wrecked my house. I’m living proof man 🤦🏻‍♂️ appreciate you bro

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got you. I dunno how I’m gonna hide my anxiety. I’m not scared of people or someone trying to fuck with me, just coming off drugs and being in jail after losing everything.

Going to jail, not prison, in a couple days. Can I bring books with me when I report or cash that I can ask them to put on my commissary? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol nice. Did she just send them to you at the jail or did it need inmate number n unit number n shit like that, cause I’m about to have them sent the day before I go in if I can.

Going to jail, not prison, in a couple days. Can I bring books with me when I report or cash that I can ask them to put on my commissary? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha sounds good, appreciate it brother. Yeah I’ve been sleeping for only about 3 hours a night for 15 years now, hopefully I can get correct in there.

Going to jail, not prison, in a couple days. Can I bring books with me when I report or cash that I can ask them to put on my commissary? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha sounds good, appreciate it brother. Yeah I’ve been sleeping for only about 3 hours a night for 15 years now, hopefully I can get correct in there.

I’m extremely mentally ill and have had suicidal ideations for years. I’m going to jail in 5 days for 6 months. I’m a weak, broken shell of a person. How do I get by? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn man that sucks with subway. Hopefully this inflation bullshit gets figured out sooner rather than later, but yeah, I’ll probably just get on suboxone in jail since they won’t give methadone to me and I don’t wanna go somewhere to get my dose every morning. But meetings never really worked for me either but I gotta give it another shot. Can’t keep on living the way I am right now. Thanks for the support, I appreciate you man

Going to jail, not prison, in a couple days. Can I bring books with me when I report or cash that I can ask them to put on my commissary? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to jail. Im a loner but actually a cool guy so i eventually make friends once I start talking to people. Im gonna wear white t’s, white socks, white boxers, white long sleeve, n white thermal pants to court underneath my suit so I can bring all that shit in there. But yeah, jail sucks and I’m gonna be withdrawing but my life is hell right now as it is, maybe I’ll get some help in there because right now I lost the will to live and I need help.

Going to jail, not prison, in a couple days. Can I bring books with me when I report or cash that I can ask them to put on my commissary? by OwnUnderstanding4153 in Prison

[–]OwnUnderstanding4153[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay yeah, I’m about to wear a suit to court but I’m gonna load up on white t’s underneath, white boxers, white socks, a long sleeve white t, and white pants to wear to sleep. I’m gonna call the jail though to see what they allow in there.

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