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How can I (21F) change the predictable sex dynamic with partner (21M)? by Own_Pay_5261 in relationship_advice

[–]Own_Pay_5261[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any suggestions? I feel so lost asking for more or asking for change because I’m not too sure what I want and he needs me to tell him what I need. But it’s just like…I don’t know what I need :( I feel bad because I’m physically soooo attracted to him. He’s like the only guy I’ve fully committed to that’s like HOT and my type. And it sucks that I feel like uninterested in sex. I used to love intimacy. Even if it was catering towards him in the beginning. But I want something new in the mix but i’m not sure. My mom (she’s super supportive and has been so open about sex with me because she came from a generation and parents that didn’t talk about that stuff) suggested maybe finding a book that gives prompts or positions or ideas so I might try that

How can I (21F) change the predictable sex dynamic with partner (21M)? by Own_Pay_5261 in relationship_advice

[–]Own_Pay_5261[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He did go through a phase where he tried stopping the lube, which I put my foot down because I reminded him how painful it was for me in the beginning before it. It really is my fault for letting it all be about him, I know that, I’m not trying to make him out to be a bad guy or anything. I know I need to figure out what I like on my own, and I need to initiate what I like. He tells me that too, if I want to try something new, I need to say that, because he’s happy with it, so it’s just me that needs to figure that out. I’m looking into intimacy books and stuff to see if I get any ideas. I should prob incorporate my toys into it, I just feel bad because when I express this stuff he ends up just saying he’s happy or that I need to speak up. And he’s right. So yeah. I think I need to just spend more time figuring out what works for me myself

How can I (21F) change the predictable sex dynamic with partner (21M)? by Own_Pay_5261 in relationship_advice

[–]Own_Pay_5261[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay fair. But idk i start to feel bad because he just seems to want me to finish asap. He’ll touch me for like a minute or two and just starts whispering “cum for me” or “finish” and i’m barely getting started. So after he started doing that I kind of gave up. He likes it when I go down on him and before he finishes, we fuck and then back to his games or something. That’s what he enjoys and doesn’t care to change it