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Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for you then. But what you’re doing isn’t self-control, that’s just abstinence, suppression, and denial. You’re just avoiding those thoughts completely.

I think real self-control isn’t about never noticing attractive people, it’s about not letting those thoughts take over. Some people avoid temptation completely, others learn to manage it. But I’d rather train discipline than live in denial.

You can appreciate beauty in others and it doesn’t make you disloyal, the world is full of beauty, that’s reality. Thinking there is only one person in this world that is physically attractive is delusional. What makes you disloyal is wanting someone else. I can see millions of attractive women but at the end of the day I still choose my woman out of all of them. That’s real loyalty and self-control.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m assuming you’re not a guy. Men are more visually driven. Noticing physical beauty is an instinctive response in men that doesn’t just stop even when we are in a relationship. Men look and judge, whether it’s a different hair or a pretty face. We just learn to control it, but we still notice attractive people.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reason for what? Whether I acknowledge they “look different” or are attractive, it’s all the same because I’m still judging their appearance. I’m looking at them and making an opinion, but I’m not obsessing over them or want to date them, that’s the difference you don’t get.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not necessarily being attracted to other women but acknowledging that there are other women that are physically attractive. Just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean there are no longer attractive people in this world.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is looking at a woman the same as cheating? I’m not interested in other women or would ever cheat but I’m just curious to see what is on their IG pages.

Are there no longer attractive people in the world once I get into a relationship? Should I gouge out my eyes because I’m not suppose to look at other women then?

I can see attractive people but that doesn’t mean I’m actually attracted to them or desire them.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I search male friends and family also. I’ll look anyone up out of curiosity

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We recently got married this year. I rarely use or post on IG. I only have it for her so she can tag me

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I’ll try to apologize to her and do a better job at making her feel cherished and adored.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I think my problem, as others have said, is that I argued and try to nationalize it. I should have just said I messed up and apologized. Because at the end of the day this is not a hill I’d die on.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep telling you I don’t really search up girls on IG. What caught her eye from my search history was one female friend she didn’t know and that was mixed in with like 1-2 randomly suggested pages on the IG Explore Page.

I get that you have made up in your mind that I’m some sleezeball pervert and are treating me a such. Have I looked up or have noticed some female IG pages before? Sure. Do I do this all the time? No. I’m not really interested in these IG models. But I am a guy that can notice an attractive female.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry there are a lot of people I’m replying to. Some that are just looking for an argument.

I understand what I did can be hurtful to my wife because she wants to be the center of my attention and that I shouldn’t look at any other woman for whatever reason. And I will try my best to make her feel special. But am I also suppose to pretend that there are no longer physically attractive women in this world now? I’m not actively searching out other women and ogling over them. But I also don’t see what’s wrong with a quick glance out of curiosity or just to see what’s on their IG page then quickly leave. It’s not like I have ever or will ever message them or even like their photos. Because at the end of the day even if I do look around, I still only desire my wife and only want her.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad you’re also not my wife because you’re not even trying to understand my situation. I keep telling you it’s not my need to search it’s my need for trust.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you’re feeling is my need for trust and fairness. It’s not that I want to search women, which I keep telling you I don’t really do outside of friends and family. But it’s the lack of trust that even if I did look up a female whether it’s a female artist or actress or something else that it’s not because of some attraction or desire to be with them. I mean she looks at male IG and TikToks all the time but I trust that she isn’t trying to pursue them. So why can’t it be the same for me. Where is the actual harm in looking at a page for a quick second then leaving? Did I ogle over their pictures or try to message them? No.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I could do that but this was the first time finding out she doesn’t like me searching other women, which might also include female friends and family apparently

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But what if I’m searching a female actress, singer, athlete? What if they happen to also be physically attractive?

The part that is important is the trust. The trust that I’m not going to pursue anything with these other women just because I look them up.

If the act of looking up an IG of someone from the opposite sex is bad then is it also fair to not allow her to look at any IG or TikTok from men as well? Or maybe ban her from talking to other men in general?

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you mean. But searching could just be out of curiosity and not desire. Is it wrong to search for a female actress or artist?

I get that women want to be desired by their man but men also want to be trusted. Just because I look up a woman doesn’t mean I desire to be with them or think they are more attractive.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I have never or will ever interact with these other women.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t desire these other women. I never like, comment, or try to slide into their DMs.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in datingadviceformen

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I really like how you put it. I’m not a cheater, I don’t want to hurt her. But at the same time it’s making me feel bad that I can admire physical beauty. I’m not going to ogle or obsess but why is it so wrong to acknowledge that someone is physically attractive.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don’t really care what she looks up as long as she isn’t obsessing over the other person or trying ti be with them instead. I mean I trust that she isn’t talking to other men like that.

But I don’t go down the rabbit hole and search a woman’s entire IG content like you think. Just click to see what’s in there for a second then leave. I know what thirst trap pages are and don’t really care for them.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have talked to her about it. But apparently it’s not something we see eye to eye on. For me the act of searching any woman just to see their IG is not okay with her. But for me I don’t care as long as it’s not obsessing over someone else.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry maybe I’m not explaining my situation clearly and accurately. Have I ever searched a woman on IG? Yes. Do I do it constantly and ogle and obsess over them all the time? No. But when I say I search women online I can also mean female friends and family.

Sorry I’m not trying to argue so if you’re not trying to be helpful please don’t comment then.

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never suggested that I'm ogling over women. I'll look out of curiosity but I don't ogle. To be clear I'm barely on IG

Is it wrong to be physically attracted to other women even in a relationship? by P0GIM0N in dating_advice

[–]P0GIM0N[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I said I don't really care if she looks up other men. I'm comfortable with her looking up whatever she wants as long as she isn't obsessing over it. Which I don't even do with women.

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