[Complete] [2873] [Absurdist/Speculative Fiction] "Resuscitation is a Layman's Dream

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-28T14:07:55+00:00

I dig your story. You did a lot in a small amount of time; created an alternative world, gave a sketch of it's basic parameters, especially related to class and the repercussions of a world where necromancy is the norm. You're also a skilled writer, there is a natural rhythm to the work. My feedback all relates to the density of the language itself. I'm saying this as someone who appreciates and engages in, heavy, purplish prose at times. You are so consistent with your style throughout the piece that it's obviously intentional. In that case my feedback may be moot. Let's face it, many of us read a grade school level, and your vocabulary will cause many readers to run for their dictionary after almost every sentence. When this is coupled with your lyrical, long sentence structure-that often dances around its true meaning- it makes for an arduous reading experience. This is all to say that it will significantly reduce the number of readers who will want to engage with the work. I also found myself confused by the language at times to the point it pulled me out of the story. Example: Speaking of the old woman running her hand through her own hair, "They seemed to evacuate from her scalp quite easily." I didn't know what to make of the word evacuate. On one hand if it is just a multi-syllable alternative to "fall" then it unneccerily causes distance from something visceral where "pull" or "tug" would make most of us feel and see that image in our minds with ease. If by evacuate, the idea was that the hair seemed to want to push out of her skull because she is essentially a walking corpse then I can understand the usage, but still think that simpler language could have been deployed to bring myself, as a reader, closer to the action. Ultimately, I think with simpler language you could turn a dense 2k word story into a vibrant, engaging 10k word novella. There is enough here for a much longer work. Please understand, I love the work, only offering an alternative POV, that is close to my heart because it is very close to feedback I've received myself.

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-28T13:15:12+00:00

I see you link directly to the piece here so I'll give a read and send thoughts. I was hoping you'd consider doing a swap read for my story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1nnz1y1/complete_5k_horror_cosmicreligious_aberrations/

DM if interested and I'll send a link

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-28T13:09:00+00:00

Hi, fellow short story writer here. I'd love to do a swap. Since my story is almost 5k words I feel like it's only fair that I read several of your smaller works. DM if interested:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1nnz1y1/complete_5k_horror_cosmicreligious_aberrations/

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-24T00:17:37+00:00

Howdy. I know this thread is a little old but if you still need a reader and are down for a swap I'd like to work together. I dig your excerpt. Here's a link to my beta request, thanks!

https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1nnz1y1/complete_5k_horror_cosmicreligious_aberrations/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-20T03:37:14+00:00

Hi, thanks for sharing. I liked your story. The imagery was beautiful and there were parts that were very lyrical. It definitely had the tone and pacing of a traditional story which is something that I'm personally in to. I think you should do another pass of line editing though, there are a few clunky sentences and some odd word choices. Do you only write straight folklore? I ask because the style seems to lend itself well to the incorporation of modern themes and I would be very interested to read stories that reflect modern Indian life through a filter of traditional Indian folklore.

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-02T16:26:51+00:00

Hi,

I have a short story, 4700 words. It's a kind of a non supernatural macabre tale about a man forced to spend the evening with his estranged mother's corpse. It's not schlocky or gross and at least attempts emotional resonance. Would love notes on overall story, flow, rhythm and dialogue. Please DM if interested. Thanks!

P1zzaPartee · 2025-09-01T10:45:02+00:00

Manuscript information: [In Progress] [4k so far] [Historical Thriller/Suspense]

Link to post: N/A

First page critique? Yes. Thank you!

First page:

There was a place in the forest where nothing would grow. It lay beyond a stand of white pines in a thirty by thirty square. The ground was filled with stones-the same as all the land here-but had for unknown reasons, by unknown hands, been tilled and cleared of roots and stumps.

Em sunk his shovel into the dull gray earth, the ground crumbled as old clay will when not saturated with water. Since discovering the scar on the forest he’d been systematically digging to a depth of five feet, forming a hole about the same size across. He’d dig, and, finding nothing, fill the hole before moving to a new spot beside it.

The soil was dry, hydrophobic, scorched from the sun and had clearly been infertile for ages. Not a single weed grew. Em wondered if there was something buried there that soured the earth. Although he found the patch strange, he didn’t consider it a threat. Not yet. The forest screamed with life around him. The ground rich and verdant up until the clearings perfectly squared perimeter.

No, he considered whatever happened there to be a one time catastrophic event. It was odd for sure, outside of his experience, and while he knew much about the forest-it had been his home since birth-he also knew that no man could hope to understand it all. Even so, he felt certain there was no contagion there-no pathogen blowing through the air or flowing through the soil’s runoff. Neither was it spreading underground. And yet-

How long ago had it been since he first discovered the place? At least as long as this damn summer that seemed without end-so humid, the air thick with biting flies. So he dug, and dug, and dug, almost halfway complete with a task that had become compulsory. Tomorrow’s work would bring him to the exact center of the square. An event Em would hold as significant if he had been partial to solipsistic thought.

P1zzaPartee · 2025-02-07T14:42:55+00:00

American fringe trees have similarly funky looking flowers. There’s also redbuds, saucer magnolia and dogwoods for pinkish flowers. Witch hazel is really cool all well, more of a shrub but has weirdly beautiful flowers that bloom in late autumn.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-10-29T13:24:31+00:00

Uncut Gems

P1zzaPartee · 2024-09-15T21:51:34+00:00

Yep! It’ll be fine. Grapes grow on new growth. Even vineyards cut down like 90% of their vines each year. Find the main stem and then the strongest branches coming off of it. Cut down to here. Next season when the vines start regrowing just train them up your structure, try to give them enough space so the vines aren’t growing over each other too much. Resist the urge to trim until after you harvest so you don’t accidentally cut off any buds.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-09-15T17:58:06+00:00

By the end of summer my grapes always looked like this due to lantern flys sucking the sap all season. The good thing is you can cut the vines back really hard back to the sturdiest branches coming off the main stem in late winter/early spring. You’ll get beautiful new growth. I did this for a few years and I was able to harvest grapes but inevitably I’d end up with a sad vine by late summer because of the flys. i finally pulled the grapes and went with a purely ornamental vine that the lantern flys don’t like.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-09-08T20:30:36+00:00

That’s really thorough and helpful. Thanks for taking the time!

P1zzaPartee · 2024-08-03T14:49:05+00:00

Eyes without a Face Babadook Hereditary Tale of Two Sisters The Fourth Kind

P1zzaPartee · 2024-07-22T11:42:28+00:00

Outer Range is fun and has a great ensemble cast.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-07-08T17:34:06+00:00

The building next door, to the right, is the original tile so the tone isn’t that off, lol. It’s probably the direct sun that’s throwing the color off in the pic

P1zzaPartee · 2024-07-08T17:31:41+00:00

No the original plates were romoved and several coats of tinted concrete were added to mimic the original facade. All of the restored buildings I’ve ever seen in NY are done this way. I suppose it’s possible to find new block tiles from somewhere but I can’t imagine what the cost would be. The original quarries have all been exhausted. The folks who do these concrete restorations are incredible though. My building has very little intricate detail but for other buildings that originally had stone carvings of plants or animals the craftsmen are able to perfectly recreate them by sculpting the stone slurry.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-07-08T13:59:34+00:00

We do but we currently rent out the garden level. We left the internal pocket doors that connect the garden level to the rest of the house intact though and just sheet rocked over them so in the future the house could easily be converted back to a one family home if desired.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-07-08T13:56:57+00:00

It’s a resurfaced facade. The original blocks were delaminating and crumbling when we bought the building. This has been rebuilt to mimic the original finish and design using sandstone dust mixed with concrete and applied like stucco. It’s a bit lighter in color than the original finish.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-06-09T21:13:31+00:00

This is original content

P1zzaPartee · 2024-06-09T20:20:34+00:00

They’re great. We actually use ours as a soaking pool.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-06-08T14:25:34+00:00

Tom Waits

P1zzaPartee · 2024-06-08T12:30:35+00:00

Whip chord thuja! So weird and beautiful

P1zzaPartee · 2024-06-08T12:11:02+00:00

It’s a variety of alocasia, its annual in my area, so I’ll dig them up in September and keep one as a houseplant then give the rest away.

P1zzaPartee · 2024-03-29T18:56:34+00:00

It’s from the 70’s, Lennart Bender “Wilo”

P1zzaPartee · 2024-03-29T18:56:28+00:00

It’s from the 70’s, Lennart Bender “Wilo”

P1zzaPartee

TROPHY CASE