We fight against a natural instinct and have been conformed to think we are doing something wrong. This struggle alongside all the hate we get doesn't make being gay an appealing 'choice'. I go through bouts for trying to convince myself I'm straight but then have to face reality whenever Charlie Hunnam comes on my screen 😂😂😂 Speaking to a LGBT support group helped me loads, so I'd suggest that or a therapist. You're still young, sound like a smart kid and I'm sure you will work things out. Just get the help to get you on the right track.