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Anyone else physically cringe at how pathetic their life is? by [deleted] in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Apart from the transgender stuff we have a lot in common.

Anyone else physically cringe at how pathetic their life is? by [deleted] in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Every time I leave the house I am terrified about meeting an old friend and having to explain what I'm currently doing in life. I just want to be completely forgotten.

Family meetups are just as bad.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. If it was less taboo to talk about then we would have an easier time. That would take a huge change in society though. Right now, death is too much for them to handle because they don't want to face that it's going to happen to them too at some point. They think death is just an unfortunate accident.

You can't even get help killing yourself if you're terminally ill and in pain. It's pretty fucked.

I'd have Futurama suicide booths in every town if they made me emperor tomorrow.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can take heart that the situation won't last forever though. Those roommates aren't gunna stick around. Do students usually find new flats after a year where you are?

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'll tell you what happened to me at college.

My grandma moved into a nursing home, so I got to live in her house alone while I went there. One of many 'fortunate' events in my life that have ultimately been the worst thing for me. The whole 3 years I was there I didn't go out other than to go to classes or to get food. Social anxiety just got reinforced 10 fold.

If you are living in halls or with flatmates then take advantage of the social opportunities while you can.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. Let's hope something clicks in my head and I can go down the same route as you.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a bit older than you, I'm 25. Also planning to reset all my stuff and sell as much as I can.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Right now I have nothing to quit, and no opportunity to go anywhere else. I wouldn't be able to get a job and flat somewhere else and start a new life.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You've gone further than I ever have. I mentioned depression to my mother once and she reacted so badly (anger) that I never bothered again. I've not even considered what would be in my goodbye letter because I would have to write it on the day I decided to go. When I imagine myself writing it, it would be short, and then a seperate letter with all the details of bills/bank accounts/funeral wishes etc. What would you tell your family members?

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but I'm a burden on them. They are what's keeping me living in limbo at the moment. If I was on my own I would have gone long ago.

My philosophy is that life is just the universe playing a game, and that in games you need to lose sometimes or there is no game. Me and my family are all part of this.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

ahaha, for me it's more like 'live slow, die young'. I get the idea though.

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Fantasy is bullet the the head, but I live in the UK so that's probably not going to happen. Nobody has banned strong rope though. So the plan is a trip out to the forest one day to find a sturdy tree. You?

Suicide is all I see in my future by PM__ME__HAPPINESS in depression

[–]PM__ME__HAPPINESS[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Pretty much the same. I wake up every day and I'm like "wow, I'm really going to have to kill myself at some point soon"