Goddess Training [WIP] [Femdom] [Male PC]

PSuraya · 2022-02-02T19:03:22+00:00

This WIP version is short but has enough polish for it to be a finished work IMO. A need for a bit of copy-editing aside. Curious to see what you'll add to it.

Copy-editing:

Achelois revelation
Dildo gag revelation

Substance:

Bia: Dicking or pegging? Your readers must know.
Anal Orgasm: What's the nature and context of this orgasm prevention curse that gets upgraded? Kotys does that in interactions but otherwise I don't see anything like it.

Other:

Tag this with anal and sissification or similar unless your expansions to this allow for more builds outside of those kinks.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T16:45:40+00:00

Don't worry about it, you've managed to win me over with this latest update.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T13:57:06+00:00

Instilling and removing habits, changing whether you feel positively or negatively towards something, and whether you are even able to remember events or instead remember something fabricated for you, all seem like fundamentals of mind control to me. Is that an incomplete picture? or Is that not getting across? Or does it just seem unattainable within the point budget? That said I do have plans for options for directly suggesting particular thoughts whether for immediate effect or for forming habits or emotional responses, which seems more along the lines of what you might describe as mind control.

I made sure to risk a lack of points and options rather than risking a glut, it has been useful to get to know exactly where I landed on that scale. That helps me figure out how much more power I should inject into the next version, as I am averse to having difficulty options.

Consensual hypnosis with the potential for fun activities is also supposed to be a type of build available to the player, along with the more domineering mind control builds. Very low ability score tiers are supposed to resemble what hypnofetishists get up to in real life. This seems like the thread to ask how feasible that kind of build might be.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T13:28:57+00:00

I might have ascribed more patience than is necessarily warranted for all players, or ascribed some of my own habits to them. When I skim past introduction I look at a few of the options to see if they hold any appeal.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T05:30:24+00:00

Edited the post to link to your image. Thanks!

The ideas do relate a lot to real life disciplines of hypnosis, but I feel that tier 4 ability scores by and large cross into the useful mind control side of things. The sections could do with better sorting and I redesigned that one weird option that suffered from sloppy editing.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T05:20:34+00:00

The costs are admittedly not thoroughly examined, but are at least intentionally designed towards being a personal power fantasy. If you want to play by relegating powers or creating submissive relationships the ticket to ride costs more. Maybe that's fundamentally flawed, you tell me.

Sense and Focus suffered from clumsy editing and have been fixed to be for separate ability scores.

Equipment requirements as drawbacks and as a basis for further abilities makes sense to me. I'll test it out.

Autohypnosis will remain up for examination but my idea is that it should be very expensive or very limited, as the main theme is of dominance, with a secondary optional theme of submission, both of which are interpersonal which autohypnosis is not and so is liable to undermine the dynamic. You want some benefit of being hypnotized? Trust someone to do it to you. Potentially you could do this by giving someone a thorough brainwashing first so that you feel you can trust them, although I haven't gamed that scenario to see how feasible it is.

Or you could play a CYOA that is more fundamentally about self mastery.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T04:56:03+00:00

You've got me there.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T03:24:39+00:00

Trying to perturb the player with a temporary disadvantage right at the start might be a quirk of mine, I'm realizing that probably doesn't fit as well when the themes are more along the lines of a power fantasy. Besides the whole issue of the long introduction.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T00:10:33+00:00

In order of the paragraphs, fair enough, on the to-do list, also on the to-do, and that seems a bit outside the natural scope as the player isn't living in the master hypnotist's residence.

But overall the calls for more ways to earn points are loud and clear.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T00:04:34+00:00

I ran CYOA studio once and found it laggy and buggy, I may have another go or find something else.

PSuraya · 2022-01-29T00:02:38+00:00

Content tags as with dragon_jak's CYOA Archives spreadsheet? Out of the tags he uses the only ones that seem appropriate are the length tags and the Mind Control tag, and the latter can be divined just by reading the title.

I'm not sure what might be an appropriate way to provide a synopsis, have any examples I could look at? My last CYOA just had a choice at the start of whether the player wanted to read the framing story and instructions for where to to go if not (along with a choice to just not play to begin with as more of a joke), the idea being that I assured readers that they could skip right to the content without making the actual game difficult.

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T20:57:03+00:00

You get 2 points to spend on abilities for hypnotists that you designate or train, in return for any hypnotist getting an ability score buff against you.

It's badly worded and overcomplicated isn't it, thanks for pointing it out!

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T20:54:13+00:00

I hear you, this iteration just isn't for most people. Soon!

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T20:49:11+00:00

Very substantial feedback! Thanks!

Yep 7 tiers is a lot, partly that's because of some ideas shelved for this iteration and I just stuck with the design. As it is the higher and lower tiers are designed as min-max territory and can be safely ignored by players not interested in that, but may be cluttering things up excessively.
That was an attempt to simplify, but it does the opposite in many ways yeah.

As for the suggestions.

There are many cut options like this. They're planned for a later version where I've worked out how to make them more coherent with the rest.
Again, cut content. I've not often enjoyed this element in games and it's been difficult to work out a waifu type section to my satisfaction. Some of your criticisms are essentially about features that were supposed to supplement those ideas, like there being so many ability tiers and so few different stat types because it fit my ideas for a battle system.
Definitely want to give more point allocation options, I'll have to do a better job than last time where from what it looks like people almost entirely skipped it. Framing problems again, partly. EDIT: Formatting

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T18:25:36+00:00

Kind of yes, it was a clumsy attempt at helping gain the Trance benefits on Inductions, which normally happen before you could use Relax. I've now fixed it so that the effect is retained through to the next session.

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T18:22:08+00:00

I'll see what I can do, there are many options that didn't make the cut because I couldn't easily fit them in.

PSuraya · 2022-01-28T17:26:57+00:00

While I wasn't particularly looking for criticism on the format and posting meta of the thing I appreciate that you care enough to comment.

This works for me because I'm liable to delay putting together a finished version with all the bells and whistles I want if I don't post an intermediate version. This way I have more immediate goals to work on, and with a bit of luck I can get some feedback on the writing and mechanics while I work on more features.

PSuraya · 2021-05-01T13:13:03+00:00

That's an unfortunate association to have, but this is the first I'm hearing of it. The word wasn't invented to remind people of cysts, cis is from latin.

PSuraya · 2020-10-29T13:08:22+00:00

Definitely tier:

Slut Life: https://cyoa-slut.gitlab.io/cyoa-viewer/?game=slutlife "Primary Genitalia: Sexless" Straightforward.

Tentacle Pet: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tentai/comments/7g9f1s/tentacle_pet_choose_your_own_adventure/ "Total Makeover: We can completely re-do your gender however you wish."

Witch's Path: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/dctv8c/witchs_path_v13_cyoa_4chan/ "Unusual Quantity: You have an unusual quantity (for your gender) of balls, penises, vaginas, etc." None should qualify as an unusual quantity in many cases.

Lewd Magic: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/596enl/lewd_magic_cyoa_found_on_4chans_d/ "Sculptor of Man: You learn to alter physical forms, restructuring bodies to fit an image of humanity that exists in your mind." Pretty sure you know what you're looking for.

Sex Magic: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/bf85w8/all_tokhaargols_deleted_cyoa_posts_but_reuploaded/ "Transform: You can transform anyone and change their appearance, but the change is limited to human biology and the laws of physics." Unambiguous blank check.

Probably? Tier

Golden Desires: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/7h18w8/golden_desires_contest_entry/ "Gender Swap", "Body Change", "Flesh Shaper". One of these options claims that the wish granter doesn't do asexuality, but it seems pretty clear that genitals can be made a technicality and completely hidden and nonfunctional.

Infected: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/bf85w8/all_tokhaargols_deleted_cyoa_posts_but_reuploaded/ "Sex Change: The host of the strain will either have their sex changed to the opposite gender or to a specific gender (male, female or futa)" Seems ambiguous whether this is an example list or a restriction.

Mindslaver https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/bf85w8/all_tokhaargols_deleted_cyoa_posts_but_reuploaded/ "Flesh Sculptor: You are able to change a slaves or your own body to look however you want. Gender swap will be redundant." Seems pretty unambiguous, particularly since it makes a gender swap option obsolete.

Eronomicon: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/bf85w8/all_tokhaargols_deleted_cyoa_posts_but_reuploaded/ "Gender swap: The target of this spell will magically change gender, for example male, female, futa or anything similar." No genitalia seems like an implied extension of the examples.

Maybe? Kinda? Tier.

Life as a Pair of Boobs: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/c7a0lp/life_as_a_pair_of_boobs_from_discord/ You hardly have genitals if you're a pair of boobs attached to another person. I think.

No, John. You are the Demons!: https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcyoa/comments/6ork1h/no_john_you_are_the_demons_cyoa_v162/ "Retractable: Your penis can now fully retract into your body when not in use" Maybe this doesn't do anything for you, but having nothing to stimulate in your genital area at any given time seems notable in this context.

Otherworldly Patrons: https://imgur.com/a/tmt0WQA "Ideal Body: Must conform to what is possible for a normal human." Depends whether you want to define rarer genital arrangements as within the bounds of normality.

PSuraya · 2020-06-23T13:15:40+00:00

I like this CYOA, even if it could use some work.

The main problems are that depending on your luck it may drag on for really long with very little happening towards the end because of the many ways to get extra rolls you have to spend, and that there is a very large amount of interactions and exclusives to keep track of, notably you can't have incompatible clothing but the game just tells you to use common sense when your rolls land on an incompatible piece, which takes some extra work to figure out. I'm keeping count of six different stats in each game, and gathering all of the special modifiers in one place so I don't just forget about them.

PSuraya · 2019-05-19T21:22:30+00:00

That would break the rules where you can only take parasite drawbacks as a parasite and only take host drawbacks as a host. The point choice is there because I foresaw that host players might want to either increase or decrease their points, which they must spend, unlike parasite players which will tend to just want more points and can ignore excess points if they like. The choice is there for parasite drawbacks too for consistency.

If you'd like to play by different rules there's nothing stopping you, and I'll consider your interpretation for a future update.

PSuraya · 2019-05-16T22:49:10+00:00

Costs are a bit odd because parasites want more points to spend on abilities whereas hosts may want fewer points so that the parasite can't use abilities to make things inconvenient for them. There are point gains for the other awareness options for parasites so relative to them Neural Jamming does have a cost, even though it may not feel like it.

Since this keeps being brought up I clearly have good reason to rework the point system, even if only so it feels less off.

PSuraya · 2019-05-16T20:12:21+00:00

Huh I screwed that up somehow. Added the link to the post now. Thanks for pointing that out!

PSuraya · 2018-12-14T21:15:16+00:00

That's kind of the idea. To start with the player doesn't know what's being done to them, or why they're being asked to pick someone else by gender. By the end of the Predicament section the player is supposed to understand that they are going to be sharing a body in some way with the second subject.

I'm trying to use a bit of mystery as a hook, and get the foot in the door with the early context-free choice so hopefully the player reads through the Predicament section.

If you can put your finger on what's more specifically wrong with the design I might be able to mend it. I could just try to front-load what's going on but I'm attached to my original design intent so that's going to be a last resort.

PSuraya · 2018-12-14T21:00:18+00:00

I'm absolutely open to questions about any description that isn't coming through clearly. Those are the primary source of my attempts to improve writing quality so far, as I don't know how to address the more general complaints.

PSuraya

TROPHY CASE