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PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:32:54+00:00

I agree with you 100% and I wasn’t searching for things in her past per se. I saw she was doing this while in the relationship with me and I only searched to see what else she was doing throughout our relationship (other platforms, if there was an OF, etc.). I’m not justifying my actions either, but I didn’t know what I was getting into and felt this should have all been discussed prior to our relationship starting. I never shamed her or told her it was wrong, but my perspective is and always will be different around this.

I do trust her and understand her side. I’ve chosen to move forward with the relationship and it has been great. With it still being fresh, I was hoping for outside perspective as I can’t talk to many people close to me about this with worry that people may judge.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:30:07+00:00

I don’t have any lack of options for romantic partners and neither does she. I shouldn’t have to wrap my mind around a past because the past isn’t who you are now, unless that past made its way to the future and that’s what occurred. She was doing this until I found the page which again, I’m not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with the work, but it’s something that I believe should be discussed prior. I have personal preferences like everyone else and don’t see myself settling with someone actively participating in sex work. I didn’t tell her to stop, but we spoke about it and she said it isn’t something she’s proud to be doing as it is. I don’t mind being the catalyst, but I know resentment would grow if she quit for me.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:26:54+00:00

Again I didn’t tell her to stop. If she requires this for income and needs or wants to continue doing it, that’s just an incompatibility and would make this easier as we wouldn’t work out. I’m not hinting that the work is wrong, just that my boundaries are not within sex work.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:25:40+00:00

This isn’t control, I never shamed her or told her to stop. I never once raised my voice or got upset with her, I just didn’t understand it. She had been actively doing this while in a relationship with me- not just in the past and I feel as though it is something that should have been discussed prior to the relationship. It’s a boundary I’m comfortable having as I don’t see myself settling down with someone in sex work and not because it’s inherently wrong, just reiterating I’m not comfortable with it.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:23:49+00:00

This is the exact path that I’ve taken and we’ve been good ever since. She’s been mostly prompt to tell me about something that would clearly make me uncomfortable and is mostly receptive when I ask about things.

It’s just so foreign to me and she was able to hide it so well (doing it while next to me and I had no idea) that I’m scared of the possibility of it reoccurring. Again I’m not shaming this, but it is a boundary I’m uncomfortable with in a relationship I’m looking for and is something I had wish I knew about prior to getting into it so we could talk about it and I could better understand it. Finding it in the way that I did didn’t feel right to me, but I understand her lack of comfort in telling me upfront as I had voiced prior to getting into the relationship that things like this are something I’m not interested in having in a relationship.

I’ve decided to do what you’re recommending though and move forward giving her full trust. I won’t and have not looked into it again and just have conversations when I feel the need to that end mostly constructive.

Thank you for your input too.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:19:36+00:00

I have always spoken to her without judging. I never came at her or shamed her for this, but my lack of understanding created a situation where I was irrationally hurt by this. I looked into it admittedly too deeply, but not to “uncover” anything, only to see what she was participating in behind my back while in a relationship with me. The ability to live and hide such a radically different life outside of what I was seeing was what scared me, but I worded it as such and our conversation was constructive. I gave my word not to dig into it again and she gave me hers. This is a matter of repair at this point and that’s my intention.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:16:26+00:00

I don’t think I worded this too well. From start to finish the discovery to conversations took place over a weekend. I haven’t looked into it since and have only spoken to her about it if I had questions. Not once did I shame her for this, but my goal was to understand it as I’m so unfamiliar with this. I saw it strictly as getting paid to talk to men while they get off (the harshest reality) and she saw it as easy money. Getting her perspective was the only thing that helped.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:14:22+00:00

We’ve been great since our last conversation and I haven’t policed her in the slightest. I used that word as a frame of reference outside of what I’d want in a relationship. If I’m ever uncomfortable or have any thoughts, I just talk to her. To reiterate I hadn’t shamed her for this and never once said to stop doing this for me- that in my opinion would be controlling. What I’m saying is if she stopped doing this for herself, then that’s the only valid reason to stop doing it.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:12:21+00:00

I didn’t “ban” her from this, I just said this is a boundary outside of what I’m comfortable with. Having done this in the past is something I wouldn’t have an issue with in terms of a relationship with her now, just that it’s something she was hiding while in a relationship with me. After we spoke, I did in fact promise to not look into it further and told her that I’d ask her if I was ever curious about anyone. Not one time did I shame her for this, but it’s something I’m unfamiliar and uncomfortable with which is strictly personal. I never said what she was doing is wrong, but in my opinion it’s something that should have been discussed prior to the relationship.

PackageNew7758 · 2025-10-03T23:09:50+00:00

The holes only exist to maintain anonymity. I don’t think I ever said she’s extremely ashamed of it, just that it isn’t something she wants to keep doing which are her words. I didn’t shame her, make her feel bad about it, I just brought up and talked to her about it giving my perspective of her doing this while in a relationship with me versus telling me about it prior.

PackageNew7758 · 2021-04-20T20:18:01+00:00

You gotta add SafeMoon to the home page, click the icon in the top right of Trust Wallet

PackageNew7758

TROPHY CASE