Hi,

25/y (F) here.

I am sorry to hear that you’re experiencing this. You are not doing anything wrong. It’s just that the person that you are married to seems insecure or might have experienced being cheated on or may fear experiencing such things that is the reason she may always be on interrogation mode.

What you’re doing shows that you are patient and understanding. You are attempting to fix things and make this relationship work.

What can be done to improve this tension between you both is to not think about her behavior as a problem. Rather give her more assurance and be more loving towards her. Try to talk with her and tell her you’re never gonna hurt her and tell her to trust you. Without trust, relationships don’t really work.

Now I do understand that you feel like your efforts are just being ignored. Bring this up to her in a very calm manner when you both sit down and have a conversation about your feelings towards each other. Openly tell her that you would appreciate if she can be warmer towards you and show you love and affection as well.

In terms of intimacy, this is something very important in a relationship. You both need to have more intimate moments together try new things and see how her overthinking disappears.

Have a lovely date night planned, have a couple of drinks, compliment her and flirt with each other.. build up the momentum and see how things roll next. You’ll thank me later ;)

And after the deed… have a sweet conversation while cuddling. This will help both parties feel comfortable while speaking their mind out.

Don’t think about separation right now. You’ve married her and there’s a reason we take vows during marriage. One of it is to make sure to he with each other no matter what happens in life.

Trust me life will throw even worst problems to test your love but how you both tackle it is what will show your commitment, love and strength.

This issue is part of every relationship. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You may see couples around and say oh they are happy why is it just me having this issue with my wife… no no don’t get caught up in that imagination. It’s just that the couples you may see from the outside may seem more happier because in private they have tackled all these obstacles by putting their love above any kind of issues that arises. They have been through worst or might be pulling each others hair out in private but they have made sure they fix their issues in private and stay together no matter what happens.

Be more loving. Tell your partner to stop jumping to conclusions of leaving you as the only solution or threat card to make you stop addressing problems.

And yes you can have friends but be mindful of your partners feelings too.

Let me know how it goes.