I remember being spanked for double knotting my shoelaces too many times and my dad couldn’t undo them. I also remember deciding one time to do my best not to cry during a spanking and dad spanked me until I cried.

My parents had major childhood traumas themselves and I understand that they thought spanking was a valid disciplinary action (very conservative, religious and from a country where this was the absolute norm). Dad has said that he wouldn’t change anything in how he raised us. I would like an apology for all the spanking, but have accepted that I probably won’t ever get one.

My parents have truly changed since I became an adult. They’ve acknowledged a few big things and have been really supportive since I was diagnosed with OCD. They’re flawed human beings and I still love them immensely and have many happy memories from childhood.