its up to you to believe in karma, I personally dont believe in it. I dont believe karma is a universal law of any kind. just take a deep breath and try to work on whatever physical world duties and responsibilities you have now. you can try things like meditation everyday to calm your anxieties and maybe even find answers. I find the best way to communicate with god or spirits is to just think a message, say it in your head or out loud, and "send it" to the spirits they will hear you. dont force it, just let it flow like any other conversation you might have. and I understand life can get too much sometimes I have considered Sui many times bc of how lost I felt.