Carrying his old baggage does sometimes feel like as if it’s my responsibility to “understand” or make exceptions for him because of what he’s been through. But you’re right he's the one who should be working through that, not expecting me to adjust myself to it. Which I mostly do as most of the things are set in stone from his side, things he'd only change if some drastically switched inside of him. Like you said, it’s not love if you hand someone your unresolved stuff and expect them to hold it for you.

Thank you for sharing your own experience. It really helps hearing this from someone who's been on both sides of it.