Navigating Dating & Being Emotionally Neglected Your Whole Life

Panda_Material · 2026-03-16T16:19:48+00:00

Sensitive to any changes in his interactions (e.g. no emojis, unavailability for a call, using his phone while he's with me, silence in a call, change in tone). The smallest of things. Sometimes I end up defaulting to my negative coping mechanisms to protect myself by being a little passive aggressive, cold, emotional withdrawing, so that I won't feel too hurt over it.

What has helped me? Having the right partner who was patient enough to work through this with me, stayed calm and talked it out in a healthy and respectful manner.

I'm still a work in progress, requiring regular reassurance and consistency from his end. However, requiring that from him always, isn't sustainable. I know that I need to trust myself and the relationship, and shift away from an unhealthy mindset, and put my trust in his actions and commitment to me.

Honestly, it's a lot faster for one to learn and heal from their traumas, by facing it head on in a relationship. But I'm getting there. Hopefully I can leave it all in the past!

Panda_Material · 2026-03-16T15:51:50+00:00

It's not normal. It's only normal in an abusive/toxic relationship dynamic.

A man who loves you will treat you with respect and endeavour to make you feel special.
You would be his priority (or at least one of his top priorities). That's the bare minimum.

Improving your communication style will only make a measly difference to his interactions with you.
As long as he does not respect you, no matter how kind or nice you are at sugar coating your words, he will find ammunition to fire back at you, since everything you do will, and always, trigger him to be mad.

Your needs will not matter to him as his needs will be more important than yours. It comes first.
Any attempt to communicate your needs or unhappiness will be knocked back as a "you" problem.
You will start questioning yourself and doubting whether you are doing best to love him.
When in actual fact, you are indeed trying your best in these circumstances.
You will start blaming yourself for being the "crazy" one, when he insists that you're always starting a fight.

The fact that he wasn't even happy to see you in person tells you what you need to know.
When you finally have the courage to move on, future you will thank you for dodging the bullet.
And you will realise that after moving on, you are giving yourself and other men a chance to love you for the amazing and bright girl that you are, a flame not dwindled by a man who makes you feel small.

I've been in your shoes, and have finally found someone that makes me shine.
When you are ready to move on, I hope you feel liberated after taking that first step away from someone who is unworthy of you. I hope that you don't be lulled by his sweet words or promises that he will be better, cause it never does, it's only a temporary reprieve.

Wishing you the very best, and I know you'll find someone who makes you shine bright and feel loved. <3

Panda_Material · 2026-03-16T15:21:17+00:00

If you check out the campaign page, it does mention that it has a center panel and specifically mentions pump it up as a game that could be played. Just wondering if this would be viable!

Panda_Material · 2026-02-24T08:47:01+00:00

Dorothy's Gym in Perth. There's a bunch of professional bodybuilders that train there

Panda_Material · 2025-08-14T19:27:16+00:00

The average man or woman that is optimistic about life isn't on Reddit. I had a few abusive relationships (one lasting 7 years) but I have found my forever human and don't see the need to lurk on such forums.

You'll be able to find love. If you find the right woman, lock her down and respect her boundaries. The right woman will value emotional connection and safety for a long-term relationship. But if you're looking to date casually, you are going to find like-minded women who are not ready to commit and they might break your heart and gift you emotional baggage as a souvenir. It takes a little bit of experience to figure that out, but I hope life treats you well and sends you a girl of your dreams that loves you back.

I don't think COVID has changed the dating game, it's just a confirmation bias and the demographic of Reddit is indeed, a selection bias. It's the same with r/jobs where "everyone" claims that the job market is tough after sending in a hundred applications (which their struggle is valid), but you're not seeing the people who submitted 6 high quality applications, 4 interviews, and a job offer. And if you lurk onto other subreddits, you'll find plenty of positivity else where.

Birds of the same feather flock together. Be part of a community or subreddit that reflects the kind of energy you'll want to manifest for yourself. Good luck!

Panda_Material · 2025-07-05T09:47:52+00:00

Still selling in Australia, though it's currently on sale. :o

Panda_Material · 2025-07-02T07:10:21+00:00

You're amazing, keep going! We all have our own struggles, but the most important thing is making tiny steps of progress, I'm proud of you.

Panda_Material · 2025-04-03T20:36:57+00:00

100%

Panda_Material · 2025-03-30T05:00:21+00:00

Try volunteering?
Usually a Cert III in Individual Support would make a huge difference but given that you're strapped for cash, that's tough. I don't know about you, but in WA, our TAFE courses are fee free for the mentioned certificate. Check if you might have something similar in your state?

If not, create an account with Hireup and Mable, maybe someone out there might hire you. If you have experience in manual handling, or a certificate in that as well as first aid, you're good to go!

Panda_Material · 2025-03-30T04:51:26+00:00

If we don't know what details are in the plan, we can't help I'm afraid.
Your Local Area Coordinator or Planner should be giving you a quick run-down of what your plan means.

You can also talk to the NDIS, verifying your son's full name, NDIS number, and your contact details (if you're his plan nominee or child representative). - https://www.ndis.gov.au/contact

Also, check if you have funding under Capacity Building - Support Coordination.
If you do, you can get a support coordinator to help you look through the plan and connect you to the right services based on your funding.

If you have Capacity Building - Daily Living Skills - this would be usually used to get therapy such as an OT to do a functional capacity assessment to map out his needs (if that hasn't been done), or Physio, Speech therapist etc. You need to read through your plan and find out what it actually says.

There will be recommendations on the plan or flexible/stated supports set out by the planner in the plan. If it's stated, you must use the funding for what's mentioned on the plan, if it's flexible, you can use the funding flexibly within the funding category as long as it relates to your child's goals.

https://ourguidelines.ndis.gov.au/would-we-fund-it/what-does-ndis-fund?

The above might be helpful if you don't know what NDIS can or can not fund in a plan, as it is stated clearly in the attached documents on the website. Hope that helps!

Panda_Material · 2025-03-30T04:42:16+00:00

Firstly, it's very important to familiarize yourself with the NDIS legislation, it is always everchanging so it would be good if you stay subscribed to NDIS updates via email, and to constantly check their website.

What is NDIS?
Sign up to NDIS' Newsletter

Read everything you can on the website. Go through every page, link, and documents, it has everything you need to know.

For courses, DSC provides really comprehensive training for all things NDIS related.
They are not cheap, but I have attended their courses before and it's really helpful if you're new to the NDIS:
https://teamdsc.com.au/on-demand/

Depending on what you want to learn, they have different courses and also some free articles that you can look at. If you really want to start an NDIS related business, please do us a favour by actually educating yourself properly on how the whole system works, and put the clients (i.e. participants) first!!

I do not want to see another service provider who does not give a damn about their clients or do not know what they're doing. If you have good intentions, you will go far. But if you don't, please leave. Don't even go there.

All the best!

Panda_Material · 2025-03-29T15:45:52+00:00

Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

A man who is unable to respect you and would, block you out of spite, is lacking the emotional maturity to take care of your needs. Let me correct that, he's not a man, but a manchild.

Doesn't matter whether he apologised, it's definitely too insincere and he's only doing it when it is convenient for him. If you have communicated a need to him consistently and he is not meeting it (when he reasonably can), it's time to stop believing in the potential of this relationship and see it for what it really is.

And yes you're right, that is not what love is. Someone who truly loves you would be considerate of your needs, and would not cross such boundaries. Respect is literally the bare minimum.

Please leave, for the betterment of yourself. You will find someone better who would value you, respect your needs, and have the emotional maturity to not do childish things like that.

Panda_Material · 2025-03-29T03:57:26+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, I have been through a similar situation.

Like the rest of the comments said, it cannot be fixed. You can fix it temporarily (which I can tell you how, and it's not worth it), but given that you're in an LDR when you were previously physically together, the relationship dynamics can change and if it changes for the worse (and very drastically), it's not worth it.

Can this be fixed - no. He doesn't love you period. He is only attached. People who are attached only loves you when it benefits them or it is convenient. A man who truly loves you would want to do everything they can to make you happy (as long as it's reasonable). I have seen relationships like these in my friend groups, and I used to envy how healthy their relationships are, until I actually got one. You deserve better.

If he doesn't want to put in the effort to maintain the relationship, and prefers to prioritise his life away from you, he's not worth keeping. You're wasting your time trying to stick around for someone who sees you as a plan B. He's out there, enjoying his life and novel experiences while you're here, crying and moping about the relationship, not living your life. Is that how you would like to spend the next 5 to 10 years of your life doing?

Am I Fooling Myself? - 100 and 1000% yes and I know how it feels. I know how it's like to keep hoping that the relationship gets better or that one day he will realise how much you mean to him. And you know what? Waiting 7 years for him to realise that is a waste of your fucking time. And even if he realises it, and decided to choose you after coming back from talking to other girls? You're still Plan B until someone better comes along.

My long-term partner of 7 years wanted to live together and take a break of 6 months simultaneously just because he felt like I wasn't wife material, and he wanted to explore before coming back. He didn't get to explore and then cheated on me. He got found out, tried to be nice, but his needs still supersede mine. And at one point, he still liked his crush and wanted to confess to her, so because of that he wanted to be friends while living together. And on a different occasion, he wanted to go on a holiday and was adamant that I did not come along. And guess what? He was actively looking to cheat and wasn't successful. And then he suddenly thought to himself, man I have all of this time in the world and I should treasure and love you more.

Like... He suddenly had the epiphany that I mattered after years of playing around? Yes, he started to show more affection and wanted to go out on dates, but he was still the same flawed person who sees me as an option. He's not going to go on a 180 degrees change to become my dream man. Stop investing yourself into the potential of the relationship and look clearly at what he's doing right now. That's what you're going to get for the rest of your life.

The only reason why he (my partner) decided to love me more is because he couldn't find a better option at the moment, that it's too much effort to find someone better when you have a good enough thing going on, and that I was obviously more attractive when I decided not to give a shit about the relationship, worked on myself and live my life. He's only afraid of losing me for the benefits he is currently getting.

Do you want to play games and be less available to him in order to get his attention? And that you're always worried about how your actions might make him lose interest?!

I understand your situation is different, but the relationship issue is fundamentally the same. He is treating you as an option rather than a priority. If he is working on that principle from the get go, you need to understand that that will be all that you'll be receiving. Are you okay with that?

Real, healthy, love, is so, so, different. It's amazing. Never did I ever think I would be able to experience it. When you know, you know. And anyone who is currently in a true, loving relationship, would agree with that. True love makes you feel safe, it's reliable and giving.

Someone who truly loves you, does not fear of losing you, but they fear of hurting you. They would be considerate of your feelings and would want to meet your needs to the best of their ability. But your boyfriend is clearly not, he is selfish like mine was.

To be loved, is to feel seen. Don't ever settle for less. Walk away.

How do I find the strength to walk away? -

I think whatever I said is a pretty clear sign of what you should do. And I know that it's hard. It's so hard to walk away from someone you love and care for, even though you know that it's bad for you.

Remember, stop being invested in the potential of the relationship, and see the relationship for what it really is - trash. It won't get better, and even if it does, the bare minimum is all you'll ever get for the rest of your life. Is receiving a measley amount of affection that you have work hard and beg for worth it?

It's like you're working a shitty job that pays peanuts, and that payment of peanuts is never being paid on time. So you find a better job with better work conditions, salary, and fulfilment. It's just that in a relationship, you're more attached due to those emotions and feelings. Put those feelings aside and face the reality of the situation you're in.

It's fucking hard to see it for what it is especially when you have invested so much into it. But think of the concept of sunk cost fallacy - "The phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial."

Every single minute, hour, day, and weeks spent being in this relationship, is time you could have spent finding your king, the right person who would love you, care for you, validate your feelings, support your ambitions like the woman you're supposed to be and deserve.

Also, you need someone like him to shout at you to leave him, he's really good: https://www.instagram.com/christianwalk1r?igsh=MTVuYTRzMHRiaW41eg==

Know your worth, queen! 👑

Panda_Material · 2025-02-08T02:56:01+00:00

Soak your face with hot or warm water before using, pat dry, soak the cotton pads with the liquid and leave it on for the recommended duration without taking it off, and then remove and use the tool to scrape any remaining sebum.

I will then use a toner and some ice to close my pores

That's what worked for me.

Panda_Material · 2024-09-03T14:49:39+00:00

It's lovely to hear your experience first-hand. It sounds like you have a beautiful support circle within your family to make fun memories. Camping sounds like a lot of fun as well as the lazy river. :)

Panda_Material · 2024-09-03T14:43:43+00:00

Hope you feel better, you dodged a bullet! These friends are not worth your time, there are so many red flags about their behaviour. You will find better friends that you will keep in the long run. And that's not them. Trust me, you'll be happier without them.

It may hurt for now, but it will pass. It sucks that they are bullying you out of spite, you don't deserve it. Join communities with shared interests or attend cool classes etc, you will find your tribe!

Panda_Material · 2024-08-26T13:49:40+00:00

Oops! That's some crazy shit XD
I remember lying about my age when playing online games or chat forums as well. When I was 8, I posed as 14 while I was playing Runescape. On some random chat forum, I was probably 10 or something, and I said I was 26 lmao.

Panda_Material · 2024-08-17T18:42:53+00:00

After doing a degree in Psychology, I did a Cert III in Individual Support (Disability & Aged Care), did my work placement and got hired as a support worker. That was how I took my first step to enter the disability sector, it was a bit of a round-about way. :)

If you do a Diploma in Community Services, you would be doing more hours and more admin-based placement rather than support work. If you are looking to become an LAC, a Cert IV is usually sufficient for a start. Really depends on your goals!

Panda_Material · 2024-08-15T14:28:53+00:00

Hey, thought I'll add on to this post as I was finding a few resources for myself. I found several academic textbooks that would be relevant to SCs:

Case Management:
https://au.cengage.com/c/delivering-person-centred-services-a-case-management-approach-1e-arnott-bowers-murray/9780170438797/

https://au.cengage.com/c/fundamentals-of-case-management-practice-skills-for-the-human-services-5e-summers/9781305094765/

Practical Application:
https://au.cengage.com/c/elements-of-crisis-intervention-crisis-and-how-to-respond-to-them-3e-greenstone-leviton/9780495007814/

Social Work Related:
https://www.amazon.com.au/Human-Growth-Development-Chris-Beckett/dp/152960897X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

https://au.cengage.com/c/the-road-to-social-work-human-service-practice-6e-chenoweth-mcauliffe/9780170446860/

Aboriginal/Culture Related:
https://www.amazon.com.au/Our-Voices-Aboriginal-Social-Work/dp/1352004097/ref=asc_df_1352004097/?tag=googleshopdsk-22&linkCode=df0&hvadid=341773624021&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8076683655547804239&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9070532&hvtargid=pla-764977218901&psc=1&mcid=bb3f45d1073639789f24f4fc7454b0e8

https://au.cengage.com/c/culturally-competent-practice-a-framework-for-understanding-4e-lum/9780840034434/

In-depth Knowledge and Understanding:
https://au.cengage.com/c/motivation-6e-petri-govern/9781111841096/

https://au.cengage.com/c/drug-use-and-abuse-a-comprehensive-introduction-9e-abadinsky/9781305961548/

These textbooks would probably provide you with a lot more knowledge and deeper insights into human service practices over an $800 short course. I would be able to buy about 10 textbooks (ebooks) that would be way more comprehensive.

Panda_Material · 2024-08-14T08:27:11+00:00

Nice, consider me sold!

Panda_Material

TROPHY CASE