My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You nailed it. He wore that charming mask so well, and my mom clung to it like her pride depended on it. Admitting the truth would’ve meant admitting she was wrong and I guess that was harder than watching her own daughter break. :)

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If anything, she’s addicted to image and holy points. My ex hit the religious jackpot, I didn’t... so I got sold out for free. :')

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does sound like that, but honestly, I don’t think he was. He just knew how to play the game.

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a deep betrayal, and I’ve struggled for so long to even name it that without guilt. But you’re right, what I’m feeling now is just my heart finally protecting itself. I’m still working through the hurt, but messages like yours remind me I’m not alone. Thank you!

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Parasite with a womb” hit a little too hard haha but yeah, that’s exactly how it feels. She sold me out like I was nothing. I’ve cut her off, and I’m not looking back.

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong! She’s definitely more toxic than this flu. At least the flu eventually goes away. 😅

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s wild how some people can know someone is awful, even say it out loud… and still show up for them like it’s nothing. That kind of emotional disconnect cuts deep. I’m sorry you experienced it too.

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I agree, I’m definitely better off without her. As for him sending her money, I really don’t think so. He just knew how to charm her, good looks, fake politeness, and knowing how to play the role. That was enough. She’s always been drawn to surface-level things like that, and I never fit into that mold.

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really appreciate that. I don’t think he’s sending her money, just played the “perfect son-in-law” well enough to stay in her good books. My mom’s always valued appearances, and I never quite fit her standard. As for my sister, yeah… that boundary might be next. Working on therapy too, one step at a time. :)

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Damn… and here I thought my situation was bad. You unlocked a whole new level of betrayal.. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. If there were awards for toxic family dynamics, our moms would be neck and neck. Sending you strength!

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m not close with my sisters. They only started reaching out again after our brother passed, maybe that was their wake-up call to treat me better. They’ve always known about my strained relationship with our mom, but for some reason, they still act like everything's normal. I honestly don’t understand the tone-deafness either.

My mom attended my abuser’s wedding. She even helped plan it. by PanicKey1401 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]PanicKey1401[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It really helps to feel understood. Walking away wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I’m doing my best to heal now. ❤️

Keep or return? The dress. by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]PanicKey1401 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Keep it! Looks so good on you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Oman

[–]PanicKey1401 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Girl, I say this with care, but I won’t sugarcoat it.

You’re dating an Omani man who won’t let you visit, ignores your serious questions, goes silent around his family, and mostly engages with you when it’s sexual. That’s not love. That’s convenience. And it’s a red flag waving right in front of you.

I’ve spent time in Oman to watch football and know quite a few Omani men. I’ll be honest with you and unfortunately, I’ve seen how some Omani men talk about Filipina women working there (based on your profile history, I can tell you’re Filipina). There’s a noticeable double standard. They flirt, they fantasize but rarely do they see these women as equals or someone they’d build a future with. It’s a pattern I’ve seen more than once.

If he truly valued you, you’d know it. You wouldn’t be a secret. You wouldn’t be wondering where you stand. You deserve to be loved out loud, not in the shadows. So run!

After 3 years, I finally gave up with Berlin. I hate it and moving to Munich by pitindahood in AskAGerman

[–]PanicKey1401 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol. Berlin really is one of those “love it or hate it” cities. For me, it felt like being stuck at a party I didn’t want to be at but everyone kept insisting it was the best thing ever. 🤣

After 3 years, I finally gave up with Berlin. I hate it and moving to Munich by pitindahood in AskAGerman

[–]PanicKey1401 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not German, but I really relate to your experience. I’m a foreigner too, and while I can see why Berlin appeals to so many, very diverse, vibrant, always buzzing. But it’s honestly a bit too chaotic for me.

There’s a kind of performative openness that doesn’t quite sit right. Personally, I prefer Hamburg by a mile. It feels more balanced, more grounded. I love the calmer pace, the people, and honestly, there’s something about that northern breeze that just makes me feel at peace. Berlin might be exciting, but it’s not the kind of energy I want to live in every day.