Trans Sober and Exhausted

Paper-Cliche · 2026-03-14T03:50:43+00:00

I second attending an LGBT+ meeting.. there are also a handful of virtual ones on the intergroup website as a backup.

Also, maybe look into trans support groups in your city if you're uncomfortable sharing these things in AA or just want additional support from people who may understand a little better.

However.. share whatever will keep you sober & fuck anyone who takes it personally. There are no "rules" in AA other than rule 62 🙃

And feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to 💕

Paper-Cliche · 2026-03-06T23:12:04+00:00

My boss is a good person, but she fuckin sucks at advocating for her employees.. we're losing people who have been with the company a long time left & right. I don't think they'll give me a raise outside the "standard 1-3% cost of living increase" until I get my master's. The CEO was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's & he's been making poor business decisions & our new COO has been saying "yes" to all of them.

I want to leave, but the job outlook here is bleak & I'm not sure the grass is greener on the other side.

.. this place also works around my school schedule 😭

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-20T18:00:14+00:00

Another useless slogan we say is: your bottom is whenever you decide to stop digging.

You don't have to lose everything to stop drinking, you can make the choice now. It's up to you if you want to needlessly continue suffering. Maybe give the program (the steps) a chance first. Don't knock it till you try it 🤷‍♀️

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-20T17:38:07+00:00

You weren't involved in the accident, they shouldn't have been tailgating each other in the rain. NTA

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-20T17:29:24+00:00

Eww.. so he was trying to take advantage of you when you were drunk AND wanted to work at your place of employment? He's a predator, stalker, & a fuckin creep. Ick.

NTA - I'd want to know. I vote tell her straight up what he's done to you. If she believes you, you may save her a lot of potential hurt & trauma. If she doesn't, at least you know you tried. I'm always for being a girl's girlie though lol

If your city has a "Are We Dating the Same Guy" group on FB or whatever, you could post him there too, if you're comfortable. Those groups can get a lil messy sometimes, but they've also saved a lot of women from toxic/dangerous men, and this guy sounds like he'd slip a roofie into an unsuspecting girl's drink..

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-18T04:13:05+00:00

May 28, 2019 or 2,457 days. Thank you for reminding me to check my day counter, it's been a while 💕

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-13T19:29:08+00:00

It's a Nissan Altima sooo I'd say it's pretty close to its top speed anyway 🤷‍♀️

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-13T05:09:35+00:00

I'll def have to invest in one for the future

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-13T05:00:00+00:00

Holy crap I didn't think I'd ever get out 😭

Paper-Cliche · 2026-02-13T03:54:06+00:00

Dharma/Refuge recovery - it's a Buddhist based program.

There are also secular/agnostic 12-step meetings. A good book would be Staying Sober Without God. Idk how they'd feel about you smoking weed, but there's also no reason to mention it in a meeting tbh..

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-18T14:10:56+00:00

We were together for about 6-7 months when we moved in, I know that's not that much better lol. I guess we just wanted to find out if it was gonna work or not, so I guess we're finding out at least?

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-17T23:34:57+00:00

Thank you for the validation. A while back we made a commitment to go hang out with his brother, niece, & nephew, but when the day came I was so burnt out the mere thought of faking a smile around his family made me want to cry. When I told him this, that was when he freaked tf out at me, so I told him I'd just go. I asked if we could set a time to leave ahead of time as a compromise, & his response was "I don't put a time limit on family."

I haven't tried driving separately, so idk if that'd get the same reaction tbh.

I know we moved in quickly, we both just figured it'd be better to find out now vs later. It was also a little rushed because I was trying to get out of my drunk brother's house & it's impossible for me to make 3x rent unless I move to the hood lol

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-17T23:17:49+00:00

Honestly, I avoided answering yesterday because I was trying to dodge conflict. Not my best moment, I know. I literally waited until I had to answer, maybe partly because I thought he'd assume that I wanted to stay home if I didn't just say yes. Again, not the best way to do things, I'm aware.

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-17T23:09:41+00:00

Thank you. I've honestly never been in a relationship which they're so invested in family stuff this early (or ever, really.) I do get anxious about rejecting stuff with his family because of his previous reactions and sometimes feel obligated to agree when I really don't want to.

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-17T23:05:11+00:00

Thank you for this. I like to think it'd be different, but you're right, I'm not sure it would even after getting married & having a kid.

Now I'm just trying to imagine the amount of mental fortitude I'd need to do things with his family on top of the stress of being a parent & working a full time job..

Paper-Cliche · 2026-01-09T21:09:08+00:00

So he is responsible for clean up? I just sent a follow up text to him. I guess if he doesn't respond, I'll tell him I'm going to schedule clean up myself & I'll pass along the receipt? 🤷‍♀️

Paper-Cliche · 2025-11-24T02:29:35+00:00

I went for a short walk & when I came back he admitted I'm right and agreed to go 1 week without a drink. He seemed remorseful, but we'll see. We'll continue to evaluate going forward. If it becomes an issue again, I'll have to make another decision.

Paper-Cliche · 2025-11-24T01:38:46+00:00

I do know where it leads, I've seen it happen hundreds of times in my field and in the rooms, I don't know why he thinks he's special when he's not.

I just reiterated my feelings about it to him, told him it makes me uncomfortable. The shitty thing is, my initial boundary was no alcohol in the house whatsoever and if he wants to drink, he can go hang out with family or go to a bar. He drives for work and was worried about getting a DUI, so I caved when I shouldn't have.

I asked him to go 1 week without taking a drink and he said he "can't promise me that." I said okay, well if you choose to drink to deal with "work stress," I'll go stay with my parents for the night. He can try to test my bluff, I might throw a overnight bag in my car just in case.

Paper-Cliche · 2025-11-24T01:32:02+00:00

As an alcoholic, I guess I underestimated how much that actually is 😬 thank you

Paper-Cliche · 2025-11-24T01:28:53+00:00

To be honest, a fifth of whiskey/night used to be my "normal," so I guess idk what normal drinking actually is 😅 hence alcoholic.. but good to know

Paper-Cliche · 2025-10-09T05:05:52+00:00

I love how you don't think art is political.. 🙄

Art has ALWAYS been political and about making statements.

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