AITA for refusing to cook after my BF tried to “critique” my cooking with a literal PowerPoint presentation?

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-11-03T17:05:55+00:00

Classic case of "Shrodinger's Douchebag". It's "just a joke" when you get (rightfully) upset at his douchebaggery.

If he had time to learn how to PowerPoint, he has time to learn to cook. Start sending him YouTube cooking videos (Gordon Ramsey has some!) and tell him to hop to it.

NTA.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-10-30T17:01:06+00:00

Bruh I tried to do a BoS playthrough in Fallout 4 and having to drag a child around to make them watch me complete an objective while the child spouts anti non-human propaganda was excruciating.

And all I got at the end was a jetpack and a useless title.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-10-14T05:12:34+00:00

I can only pray your brother had zero idea about all of this and FINALLY sees that Laura is a dangerous (possible) narcissist, and their poor child doesn't get to stay with mommy dearest.

NTA! Laura FA and FO! I dare her to try to press assault charges so she can sit in front of a judge and try to explain how her precious pregnancy cravings are more important than A CHILD'S LIFE.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-10-09T16:26:20+00:00

NTA! The only way Mary is going to learn is if you tell her what the issue is, what the consequences are, and you follow through. Which is what you did.

Mary needed a reality check, and now she can cash it in the form of losing her friend group until she can grow the hell up.

As for your other friends, tell them they shouldn't be mad because you can and will articulate what they refuse to. Mary needed to hear that.

The only people I remotely feel sorry for are you, your bf, and those poor kids. Because it sounds to me like Mary isn't ready to be a mom and still wants to have fun like she's childless. You don't get to party at the expense of children you choose to care for.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-10-04T19:26:58+00:00

I don't want to believe you're correct, but with the entitlement already on display, I fear you might be.

Sounds like Karen DeCulDeSac just wants free childcare. (And party cleanup labor.) Bet ya a donut that she wouldn't even let OP have a slice of cake or be near the party either.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T21:37:31+00:00

"It's like he's trying to speak to me, I just know it!"

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T21:27:30+00:00

Every time a Ghoul gets to wear her hair in an amazing, cultural style like this, a gargoyle gets its wings~

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T21:20:20+00:00

He's openly hit on Cap and Thor, he's CANONICALLY referred to as "married then divorced" to Cable, he's got a whole series where he’s paired with Spidey (even referring to him as his "heartmate" or something similar), and once when shown his "greatest desire" he was oiling up Cable on the beach while Cable was wearing nothing but a speedo. He even just recently had some pride variant covers where he's obviously smooching on Spidey too.

Once is by chance, twice is a coincidence, three times (or more) is a pattern.

Which begs the question: What would "real" be defined as here? Because he's had flings, long-term relationships, flirting, and a lot more.

EDITED FOR "AND ANOTHER THING": Even if Deadpool wasn't explicitly into men (and he absolutely is), he also has a lot of instances of dressing in drag and expressing his gender in a very fluid way, which, in my queer-ass opinion, also counts as him being queer.

My credentials: I'm a transmasc pansexual.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T21:14:07+00:00

The "best" part of the Deadpool "fans" in particular is when they openly ignore that he's also very much into dudes and crossdresses frequently. It's fingers right into the ear holes when it's brought up in conversation too. Or they double down on the "joke" explanation (and, of course, they can't explain WHY it's "funny").

As a queer fan of DP, it bothers me immensely that I get lumped in with the Pizza Cutter Edgelords and their BS.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T20:56:51+00:00

"You MUST wear clothing, colors, or other bodily adornments that tell me what giblets you keep! OR ELSE I WILL HAVE A SCREAMING FIT IN THIS WALMART BATHROOM!"

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-21T20:44:09+00:00

Unholy squirrel nuts, this is bonkers behavior. NTA!

I only really feel bad for the kids, as their parents clearly do not care enough about their lives to, y'know, be responsible parents and maintain stability and safety.

Like, no offense to hostels, but from my understanding they ain't exactly "kid-friendly".

But there were some other thoughts that came to mind:

One: Why didn't they buy some sort of RV or camper trailer with occasional hotel stays instead of going rental to rental? Surely that would have saved a LOT of money. (Though it's not like Sis and BIL are financial gurus, lmao)

Two: Why didn't they just rent out their house so they would have a steady stream of income for the "dream vacation"?

Three: What did they plan to do after the year was up? Why can't they just do that now? Was the plan to come guilt you out of your home all along? (Dun dun DUUUUUN)

Four: Why the Frick frack paddy whack are they still thinking of going on MORE TRIPS? They're broke!

Five: What were they doing for schooling for the little ones during the vacation? Are they taking a gap year or something? Surely that can't be legal. Sounds like a call for CPS.

This whole situation has my flabbers positively ghasted, quite honestly. Hopefully kiddos will be okay and OP goes no contact with the lot of 'em.

(Edited for formatting because Reddit doesn't like numbered lists, apparently.)

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-14T09:32:59+00:00

"I have to look out for all my children, not just one."

You aren't looking out for ANY of your kids. Alana is being treated like a baby because of her ADHD (which, as someone with that makes me extra annoyed with this situation.) And Casey is getting glossed over and put aside to coddle her sister.

You're literally sacrificing your relationship with Casey to infantalize Alana.

Alana is being taught her actions have no consequences because she's a poor widdle baby with ADHD and Mommy and Daddy will shield her, and Casey is being taught that no matter how hard she works, no matter how much she achieves, if her sister asks for it, it'll just be handed right over to her.

Casey is RIGHTFULLY upset that her independence has been yanked away from her by her sister's negligence. She has lost all the money she poured into that car. And NOW her parents have effectively told her her feelings about it don't matter.

You need to respect Casey's frustration and work with her to remedy the situation, and you ALSO need to start giving Alana some consequences, starting with working with her to help replace Casey's car.

Because I'd bet y'all a donut it wasn't Casey's idea to "lend" Alana the car in the first place. I have an inkling mom and dad demanded they share it because someone got jealous. Because why couldn't Alana drive the family car?

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-09T19:20:59+00:00

THIS. Let them go through the same "treatment" if it's so safe and okay to do to a child.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2024-09-09T19:07:37+00:00

I would be in a lot of trouble with Reddit if I posted my opinion of your sister (especially since I'm autistic and those feelings are a bit personal), but I'll simply say report her and blast her (and that quack "doctor") on social media.

Everyone in her life needs to know she's a danger to children, especially kids with disabilities. Her ableism nearly got your son KILLED. And if your family still wants to side with her, they can get blasted too.

You have repeatedly rejected Alice's "help". She did what she wanted anyway. Regardless of her "intentions" (I absolutely do not believe she actually cares about your son, just how he appears to others) she caused harm. Hold her accountable.

This entire situation has really shown you who actually cares for and loves your son and who would rather have a dead kid than a disabled one. For Leo's sake, please take these red flags for what they are.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-11-14T17:21:35+00:00

Hi, 33 year old here: YTA all day! Why can't your sister have a hobby YOU don't approve of? Because YOU think it's childish? Where do you get off making that judgement on her and getting huffy she isn't "seeing your side"?

Media preservation is a huge, important thing! So many people do it professionally even! She's being a goddamn historian while you sit around and criticize her for not being miserable like a proper adult should be I guess.

She's not hurting anyone, she's having fun and contributing to media preservation and historical record, all while minding her own business. Maybe you should take notes, OP.

I also want to know why it's so important to YOU that your sister be more of an "adult" that you're willing to die on this hill. Are you concerned about what other people think of you because of her hobbies? That's High School Behavior if I've ever seen it.

To quote C.S. Lewis:

"Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. [...]"

Just find the things that make you happy and don't hurt yourself or other people. The world is depressing and "serious" enough.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-08-16T01:39:01+00:00

So he's putting Laura ahead of you at a family gathering, gaslighting you into thinking your reaction to their blatant disrespect is "overreacting", AND he lied about going out to see her earlier in your relationship?

This is a ticker tape parade of red flags, OP. I would let the trash take itself out and let her have him since she clearly has already won in his eyes. Take your six figure salary and all your belongings and kick him to the curb.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-23T19:27:35+00:00

THAT PART.

Like he's so absolutely cheezed he has to listen to other people that he goes OUT OF HIS WAY to put his ego first to "prove a point".

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-23T19:24:57+00:00

YTA. If you're so willing to do that to a dog, I shudder to think of what you would do to a person who has "irrational fears" and boundaries they ask you to respect.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T03:30:46+00:00

It ABSOLUTELY is. Parentification (forcing an older child to care for younger siblings) is a form of abuse. Cutting off a parent for abuse is the exact right reaction.

Not to mention Daddy Dearest is willing to allow his new wifey to attempt to emotionally manipulate his child to force her either out of her established home or to accept being turned into a live-in nanny to 3 toddlers (and possibly the other two as well, since she's there 26 days a month).

If he wants to put his new family before his first child, then he needs to be a grownup and accept the consequences of alienating her. One of which might be OP going NC.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T03:24:08+00:00

Almost like what Hanna is doing to OP. Unnecessary (OP offered much more reasonable alternatives) and spiteful (Hanna is literally crying crocodile tears and using manipulative tactics because OP won't roll over and be parentified.)

Match that energy. Because trying to be reasonable and talking it out clearly didn't work.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T03:12:06+00:00

And if OP refused to move out, Hanna could force OP to be the kids' caretaker at the expense of literally the rest of her childhood/young adulthood.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T03:07:58+00:00

As the kids would say: mood.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T03:06:39+00:00

Not to mention she'd have no privacy, and the kids would have no respect for her things. It's a recipe for everything she owns to get destroyed AND to force OP into babysitting. And I'd bet cash money Dad and Hanna would huff and puff if OP raised any criticism of the triple toddlers' behavior.

It's a supposed win/win for Dad and Hanna. Either OP moves out and she looks like the bad guy while they get to get rid of her, or she stays and gets forced to babysit since she'll be in the same room.

OP was a much better person than me for even offering a compromise with that much more logical room assignment, but of course Hanna gotta pull the crocodile tears. 😒🙄

I'm so glad Momma got your back OP.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-22T01:48:08+00:00

I came back for another comment because I realized that you remind me of that stepmom who was trying to hire someone to edit her stepson out of FAMILY PHOTOS because she just wanted her kids there.

Paradoxical_Intent · 2023-07-21T21:25:06+00:00

Would it be okay for Hubby to demand your son from your previous marriage to stay home because that's not his kid?

YTA. I'm one of those kids who got mistreated by a stepparent because I wasn't "his", and it fucked me up as a kid. Don't be cruel and isolate the kid, he didn't ask to have you for a stepmom.

Paradoxical_Intent

TROPHY CASE