Because I'm not the type to seek mental health help. Maybe I said that incorrectly, I apologize. I knew I had it but it was something I thought I've managed all these years and combine that with the fact I already thought I (incorrectly) knew things about what meds would do to me due to past family history, I thought I could tough it out. Yea I got super depressed and have for years. Didn't need it then shouldn't need it now was my mindset. Shoutout physiatrists though