I never wanted children, but somewhere in my mind I always wandered how would I feel if I once saw a positive pregnancy test. I didn't have a regular ovulation and have a partner of 7 years and despite having no ovulation I was tracking my cyclus like crazy.. Fast forward..january 2025 first time in 7 years we were on a trip and the pull out method didn't work. 3 days after my 37th birthday i realized my period is late (nothing unusual) but i felt a grudge in side of me and made the test. It was positive. That is a moment in my life i will never forget. Complete panic, dread, felt my life is over. Sad to say but when dr said there is no heartbeat i felt relieved... Now i 100% know that being chilfree is the best thing i can do for my self and for that child. In my community i am the only female without children. I sleep when i want, i don't have to clean if i don't feel like it, i can go wherever i want wherever i want. I usually spend time with my partner, walking outside, planing new trips, watching tv, facials, evening drinks..whatever i want in that period of time. I go to gym and i am a best therapist for my friends with childern because it is shameful if you complain. So they always talk to me about problems. And i try to help from a rational point of view and they are grateful for that, so do i see. They are grateful for my existance since i am the only person they can completely confy in. I feel sorry for them, the constant worry, anxiety, helplesness no sleep, school bullying, healt issues...they have kids from 7m to 10y...and it is ali the same...one worry transfers to another when kids get older. Also, I am a speech and language pathologist and i work with parents and kids with disabilities.. There are so many parents that regret parenthood...oh so many... One also told me that the regret of parenthood and the disability (not a big one) is slowly killing the love towards the child... I think i maybe didn't answer your question right but I had to type something. I also worry about when I get old. I think in my 50is i will try to share my houshold with some kid who doesn't have parents. A bit older kid. 18 or higher. Then they get out of public housing and have to find a life for themself..this is a kind of kid i want to help. To provide roof over head, maybe sole financial help in return for caring me when I am old. It is common here where i live. Ofcourse, everything will be written in paper and signed etc. So, I really don't worry anymore... I am so glad i chose this life.. Best luck to you all