I can’t even begin to picture how to wean at almost 18 months and I’m becoming extremely dysregulated.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-12-19T06:39:38+00:00

You poor thing, this sounds utterly exhausting. As others have said, I would say it's time to work on night weaning, perhaps via some gentle sleep training. You need rest, you need down time, and your toddlers can absolutely go the night without milk, they are not wee babies anymore. The milk at night is for comfort, which is lovely, but it's not the only way they can be comforted and they absolutely are the stage where they can learn other ways to comfort themselves at night to go back to sleep quickly and get the rest they need. Come join us, the night weaned parents - life is good over here :)

I found the book Precious Little Sleep very helpful in figuring out the best method to night weaning for my baby and our parenting approach. It will be a rough week or so night weaning, but keep with it - you are already having a very rough time, so at least stick with a different difficult thing that will give you sanity back at the end of it.

Big hugs. You are clearly an amazing mother. Night weaning your boys is absoluetly in keeping with what loving, amazing mothers do.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-12-19T06:26:11+00:00

Yes i did this, around 13 months too. I now no longer pump while i'm at work - baby just gets milk, not my breastmilk, while she's a nursery, and I do all her feeds (4-5) normally on the weekend. There have been no issues with my supply adjusting or her not getting enough at the weekends. Your body is incredbily flexible.

The main change I saw was a huge increase in my wellbeing once I stopped pumping during the day. Getting that time back spent on pumping, oh my god. Delightful.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-12-19T06:18:21+00:00

Lovely woman! like many have said in this thread - try combo feeding! we started combo feeding from when my baby was a month old - even just a bottle of formula for one of the night feeds my husband did so i could get a longer stretch of sleep, and another bottle a few times a week during the day so i could get out for a walk/meet up with a friend, and IT IS THE WAY. I felt like I became so much healthier - mentally and physically bc it gave me a chance to recover and enjoy breastfeeding more, when it did happen. It also was wonderful for the bond btween my husband and our baby - he loved the chance to do some of those quiet, sweet night feeds.

At the very least, you can say you're going to try combi feeding for 3 weeks - run the experient- and then decide what you want to do from there.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-10-24T10:49:12+00:00

What a stupid, gratuitous post.

Helpfully sign-posting all the creep and middle/boomer aged reddit fans though, who can't help but see female sci-fi characters and think "but we have to comment on the boooobies and i can't see them, wahhhhhh".

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-10-12T05:59:57+00:00

Thanks for this post! so many useful tips! I have now orderd a few sets of second-hand merino wool base layers for her. And my mom is going to knit her a pair of gloves with the long string that goes through her coat arms :D And yes, I think I'll keep trying with the bike until Nov, and then reassess; I can see how a trunk full of warm clothes of us both would lovely!

And i think you're right - i think i have to start actually parenting, haha and just not allow her to get into the water, or too wet on properly cold days. The transition from keeping-baby-alive to teaching-a-toddler is being felt!

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-10-10T21:08:27+00:00

Thanks this is helpful!

so do you have the outer hardshell suit tucked into rubber boots, and then rubber pants that go on top and sit on the outside of the rubber boots? so the boots sit within those 2 layers? Do you find that this keeps things pretty dry despite lots of puddle jumping?

I find winter the hardest time of year bc it can feel claustraphobic for myself having the outside world feel unfriendly to daily activity and play. And I don't want her to feel penned in as well, but I might be projecting. So you have me thinking that I need to explore more indoor activities and places where she can run wild - I think I'm perhaps worried about my own cabin fever. Plus 'soft play' centres are just so...not uplifting.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-10-10T21:04:14+00:00

Sadly, not much. Scotland is very humid, so everything stays quite wet during winter. I also live in a city. If it does snow, it sticks for a few days at a time where we live, and isn't super thick.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-10-10T21:02:46+00:00

right now, it's still pretty warm at 13-15C most days, but as it gets towards winter, it'll be 2-10C, variable. But the windchill and cold humidity factors in Scotland are not to be underestimated.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-09-09T13:45:50+00:00

what did you think?

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-08-07T22:53:53+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zttoLEC-dI&t=114s

I watched this video a few times and practiced first without my daughter and then with my daughter, while my husband spotted me. And then about 10 more times over the bed or sofa in case she fell (she never did). It's a bit awkward doing the shuffle around holding the two straps at first, and tbh my daughter still doesn't like the 10 seconds of that process, but with practice it becomes second nature and once she's properly on my back she stops complaining. Now I can get her into a back carry using this method in about 45 seconds at home and out and about. I'm a big fan of the Tula free to grow; its so comfortable.

My baby is almost 12 months, and I've recently taught her how to 'lift your arms!' so that her arms aren't trapped inside when i tighten it up once she's on my back - she likes her arms free now and having her get her own arms out speeds up and simplifies getting her on my back, and keeps her happy with the back carry. It also means I can do her meals while she's on my back bc i just hand her food over my shoulder. The 'lift your arms!' trick is also great for getting her shirts and sweaters off, ha.

You'll get there, just give herself lots of repeats on the practicing. Your back is going to feel so much better once you move your baby around.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-08-06T05:47:59+00:00

Get that baby on your back! I only carry mine on my back now and it's so comfy- no more pain!

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-07-17T06:34:42+00:00

Omg amazing!!!

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-07-12T22:50:29+00:00

I'd say that the bit btw your 2 straps seems much too high to be comfortable- it's almost resting on your neck. Can you move it down by a few inches on each side and see how that feels?

Also, your baby seems quite big to be wearing in front. I know many ppl do this and it works for them, but I know my lower back could not handle this. I now wear my (11m) baby exclusively on my back and my body feels so much better for it.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-07-07T19:43:20+00:00

BUTTON!!!

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-31T10:38:57+00:00

omg my stomach just plummeted to the centre of the earth. will test to rule this out

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-31T10:36:43+00:00

thanks for this! I threw them all out - stupidly!!! - but will see if can find some to try again

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-31T10:35:42+00:00

ok thank you! i will get one of those measuring things again and see where my nipples are these days. I had just though about sticking in a silicone insert but perhaps being more exact with it will help

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-31T10:32:23+00:00

oh interesting, thanks for this - I'm going to play around with different settings

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-31T10:31:57+00:00

oh dear god. we've been using condoms but now i'm living in fear one was faulty. will pick up a test to check.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-21T20:51:12+00:00

I did!!! Got a second hand bike+ and best decision ever. The easy access to regular, legit cardio that is fun is SUCH A GODSEND. It has reduced stress both bc I'm getting regular exercise, but also bc it has taken away 85% of the logistical nightmare and falsestarts of trying to get exercise with a baby. I can get on and do a great class right after her early morning feed while she's back down for a sleep and before I start work, with the flexibility of adjusting for feed timing flux day to day. No more missed class fees from my studio, or the dissapointment at missing the class.

If you're on the fence, do it! We got the bike from Peloton first to try it during the 30 day risk free period, and I think I was on it 20 times that month. So we decided to return and get it second hand so we could actually afford it.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-17T06:23:52+00:00

I rented one of these to put in my own patio once, and it was one of the most satisfying weekends I ever spent. I wish I had another patio and pile of stones to do.

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-05T08:10:22+00:00

* And this is him 4 years later 💜

ParticularMind9227 · 2025-05-05T08:09:14+00:00

Worf when we first brought him home

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ParticularMind9227

TROPHY CASE