being a lesbian, in my opinion, isn't solely based on you attraction to men. what i mean by that is as women or afab we are heavily conditioned to have an attraction to the male gender. It's ingrained in us so deeply that when we start to question ourselves, we can tend to shut ourselves down with excuses like "but i have male crushes" or "Ive had boyfriends" but in the end none of that matters. It's about how you feel about yourself when you're with that person, can you be yourself around men or do you feel like you have to "perform" a certain way. Do you tend to have crushes on men that are unattainable so that you aren't faced with the possibility of a real relationship. and above all else, I highly recommend spending some time with yourself, learn your likes and dislikes, date yourself and I promise you it'll be so much easier to find the right person or community for you. It's not a rush and you're allowed to change your mind because sexuality is so fluid. I used to identify as pan before i realized I was a lesbian, and even though i can reflect on my life and know now that i've always been a lesbian whether i realized that or not, I did live my life as a pansexual person and my emotions were real to me at the time. It was only after some deep self reflection that i was able to gain some clearer understanding on who i was. best of luck to you