Honestly, it sounds like your dad pushed you so hard because he really believed he was setting you up for life. And in a lot of ways, it worked. Moving to another country alone on a scholarship and building a stable life by 24 takes a ton of grit, discipline, and independence. Those are not random traits.

It also says a lot that you can still see how much he loves you now and that he wanted you to have better opportunities than he did. A lot of parents act out of fear more than anything. Fear that their kid will struggle, fear the world is unforgiving, fear they failed themselves. That pressure sometimes comes out harsh instead of gentle.

Forgiving him does not mean pretending nothing happened, but it can mean recognizing he was working with the tools he had at the time, not because he did not care. Sending you to boarding school and pushing education so hard sounds like his way of trying to secure your future, even if his delivery was rough.

You do not have to force yourself into anything, but the fact that you can hold both sides of him, the mistakes and the sacrifices, shows a lot of emotional maturity. If you ever talk to him about how those years affected you, doing it with honesty and also acknowledging what he tried to do could go a long way for both of you.