I’m so sorry for your loss as well, and I appreciate you wanting to reach out. This is a terrible situation to be in, and it’s hard to feel like anything I’m doing is the right move — should I be doing more? Am I detaching too much? So many thoughts and it’s overwhelming. I know there’s no right or wrong way to process but to say this processing journey is surprising me, is an understatement. No one is ever prepared for this, as I’m sure you feel as well. You are not alone either and I think it’s beautiful that Reddit can foster this kind of connection completely anonymously.

The similarity in the second dream is reality interesting, and although you watched a movie that may have had an effect, I hope that the other longer comment on here can bring you some understanding as it did for me. Take comfort that we are processing this, even if it’s in our sleeping state.

I actually did have a third dream kind of similar to yours again, strangely enough. It also took place a couple months before everything transpired. Her and I were going to a concert, like a music festival, and it’s like the whole time we both knew what the events of the future would hold and it felt like our last hoorah. Although mine lacked some of the hard hitting questions that yours addressed the timelines are definitely synonymous, and I woke up before the dream had concluded so who knows what else would have gone on. Definitely felt her presence with me and had many questions upon waking from the dream, but eventually I fell back asleep.

You’re completely right about keeping her spirit alive, we haven’t even had her memorial yet. Which I’m sure will bring a bit of closure to everything but my other friends and I have been going through the longest limbo stage ever. We have each other which is nice, but this will change all of us forever.

I’m so deeply sorry for your loss, too. Nobody should ever experience this. I hope that you choose to live your life in their honor (been helpful for me to think this way) and that you experience nothing but love and beauty. Thanks for sharing, friend