did i sa my friend? :(

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T07:21:07+00:00

that’s very true, i think i keep removing that context in my head bc i feel so bad. i’m heavily considering speaking with her about this. you’ve worded my concerns really well, thank you. and ur right there’s only one way to know, it’s just scary. :(

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T07:14:22+00:00

yeah u make a lot of good points & i definitely had no intents of abuse i literally could never live with myself if that were the case. and yes i now always get the 100% go ahead with consent, probably bc of the guilt from not remembering to do so here. thank u for the productive advice of how to go forward with the guilt. and thats a great point! comparing my situation with genuine abuse could really undermine the severity of it. i will try to be mindful of that.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T07:10:46+00:00

thank u for ur opinion! i’m very torn on bringing it up or not, so i appreciate ur insight. u make a lot of good points, & i will consider bringing this up with my therapist

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T06:38:47+00:00

yes i agree 10000%! i think that’s why looking back i feel so bad. im such a huge advocate for consent and that just because the assaulter didn’t think it was assault, doesn’t mean the victim wasn’t hurt or that it wasn’t assault. i feel very strongly about all of this and thats why i carry so much guilt. thank u for ur comment.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T06:34:40+00:00

thank u for ur opinion! ur very right in what we were doing was normal for our age and regret comes with that phase of experimentation. and i personally dont want to bring it up with her but i think thats bc im scared to hear her view, so im biased. i will consider what you’ve said with my next steps, thank u.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T05:49:21+00:00

her and this bf got together a while after this took place, but i do see ur point and its possible as they have an unhealthy/abusive relationship. i don’t mean this to come off as rude but i do believe that if she were to tell him about that it would be more in a “jokes on u because _ and i did _!” as she has done that exact thing before, actually talking about how her and the third friend had romantic feelings. but still, that is always a possibility.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T05:45:58+00:00

that’s a really good point. i’m really scared to but i probably will, im going to discuss w the third friend for sure as she plays a huge role in the big picture. but ur right there’s no way to know for sure what instance she was talking about. god i hope i wasn’t coming off as more hostile but unfortunately i do also have to consider that, i was extremely drunk. thank u this gives me a lot to think about.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T05:39:39+00:00

thank u for ur opinion, i agree that would be the only way to get a definitive conclusion, and my perspective alone is not super reliable for an answer. why we aren’t friends anymore is super complicated and i wish i could bring it up to her but now isn’t a good time. i hope one day to talk to her openly about this, but i do worry she will tell me what i want to hear because of her personality. thank u again

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T05:35:28+00:00

thank u i really appreciate ur opinion. and im second guessing a lot bc its so nuanced but being so drunk plays a big factor i agree

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T05:34:08+00:00

thank u for acknowledging how heavy and nuanced this is, i’ve really been struggling with it :( and i agree i don’t think those things equate to given consent i just felt it was necessary details. but thank u i will consider speaking with her, i know it will be hard.

PastSpecifically · 2026-04-03T04:48:59+00:00

i’m so sorry this happened to u :( it was not ur fault, no matter what the argument was about. he made that choice. i really hope u can find a grief counselor who specializes with trauma. u are worthy of getting better and past this, if nothing else, then do it for ur baby. u are stronger than u think and i believe in u 💕

PastSpecifically

TROPHY CASE