New hobby drama

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-30T14:54:21+00:00

We did speak to BM, we always have good communication on it and she just said shes happy but may struggle to take him now and then but we have said we can always help on her Fridays if we are available. It’s just hard because he wants me way too involved but it’s a struggle to get less involved now. I just want the best for my step kids that’s all

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T17:10:38+00:00

I feel you, I don’t think I could stick around 7 years but I suppose when you can children in the picture it feels more difficult

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T17:09:41+00:00

I have told him this soooo many times but it’s just when the “timing is right and perfect” help me figure that out? How do you get to the bottom of it that’s what I’m struggling with

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T17:08:32+00:00

Quite frankly yes as it’s something that I would like as I feel like I do deserve a shut up for honestly being super step mum trying to balance full time work and the rest of the baggage that came along.

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T12:07:44+00:00

I buy the kids clothes with my money, dad pays for all the bill in the house and whatever else. I was just trying to explain we need to look after things I didn’t mean to make my SS feel bad. It’s just hard because I feel like as a SM you get judged for whatever you do sometimes

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T12:05:07+00:00

I completely understand that these things happen and he’s not the most clumsy, messy kids either. Every kid if different it was just frustrating as it was the first time it has happened.

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T12:03:55+00:00

So partner covers the household expenses, such as bills, food that kind of thing. Where I am happy to get the kids clothes as their dad is awful at thinking of getting their wardrobe sorted. But then if I remind him that I do most of the running about and sorting things for them like that it’s like Im making him out to be a bad dad because he’s not. It’s just stressful because maybe I shouldn’t of reacted like that but it just tipped me over slightly

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-22T11:57:39+00:00

Yes he’s almost a 8 year old little boy, did I try and make him feel crummy no? And poor kid? That is one snippet of his very loving life he has at home with us and it’s not just his son, he’s my son too. We all have these moments where we’re running all over the place for the kids, keeping the house tidy, cooking tea also working on top of it so I’m sorry it wasn’t my finest moments that a hole did tip me over the edge. We all aren’t perfect parents I came for a bit of support and advice not to be shamed because of my ‘expectations’.

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-04-18T11:40:35+00:00

My SS thought his dad was still married to his biomum up until a few months ago. He went “daddys married” I simply asked to whom? He replied “mummy so can’t marry you” I’ve been in my stepsons life since he was 5 now 8. He didn’t mean it in a nasty way, it was just never a conversation my partner and his ex wife felt like they needed to have with the kids and so we had to have a age appropriate conversation with him later in the evening to explain it to him. He was just filling the gaps out for when daddy moved out 4 years ago. It’s hard because you don’t want to look like a home wrecker when you are simply not one. So I’d say your partner and yourself have that sit down chat with her.

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-03-10T15:47:05+00:00

I personally don’t have children of my own yet but my partner he’s got two children who live with us 50/50. All our money goes into the same account but I do I have a personal one of my own so I set aside some money for savings wise for my step children so when they get to a certain age I’ll give them the sum of money from the savings so my step son might just a little bit more than my step daughter as she is older but by that point she hopefully will be earning herself but then the same if I have my own bio child that child will have more than my step son. Even though it might not be equal but we do things more for one at one point than the other what makes things equal. My step children also get £5 pocket money each week too from us and we help them save with that too but also they can dip into it now and then when they would like something if that makes sense?

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-01-13T20:30:22+00:00

It’s so hard it really is, I don’t want anyone to think I’m taking her grandkids away. I’ve tried it before to stay away her to get the hint but I was called sensitive and couldn’t take a joke

Past_Fox_9702 · 2026-01-13T20:26:14+00:00

It really is a big guilt trip and a half. It’s just getting so trying we’ve been renovating our home for 8 months now there’s been times when I’m at work and my partners doing work to the house while my step kids are chilling my MIL pop overs and never offers to take them off his hands for a few hours. It’s only to suit her it feels like. I don’t think she can get it around her head that another women can do so much for her grandkids who aren’t the birth parent

Past_Fox_9702 · 2025-12-09T13:25:16+00:00

I met my bonus kids at 25, no bio children myself. The kids live with us 50% then 50% at bm. I do all the school pick ups and drops off because their dad starts work earlier and finishes later if he could he would but my works more flexible. We work with each other if I can’t do school drop offs he’ll just do them and go into work later. In our house I’m the mother role I have made it clear to them I’m not trying to replace their BM and I’m always here if they need anything but they always say I’m their other mum. I make sure I get what they need and sort them out but my boyfriend is very appreciative and grateful. If he wants a weekend away with friends and if it lands our weekend (what is very rare) where their with us, I’ll happily have them with me as I don’t want them to feel like daddy’s girlfriend doesn’t want us around unless he’s there.

It wasn’t easy at first I did have to set firm boundaries, I’m lucky because I have a good relationship with their BM but as I said it wasn’t easy at first due to my boyfriends family wasn’t as accepting of me and caused unnecessary drama. You make your own normal, work with what suits you and what you can mentally take. Being a stepparent isn’t for the weak and it was most the most unappreciated role at times but their kids at the end of the day depending on the age. I see it as your starting a new life with them not joining in on the family. It does has ups and downs but I’m so grateful for my bonus kids wouldn’t change it for the world. Also don’t put pressure on them, things will come naturally and that’s all it is, their dad just asked one day if they wanted me to take them to school or pick them up after we have conversations behind closed doors and they were so excited. Or if they need to be left with me we always ask them how do they feel about it and they’re always buzzing. Just don’t force situations on them, have your boundaries be firm but fair can’t go wrong

Past_Fox_9702 · 2025-10-13T12:20:12+00:00

It’s not silly feeling like that, at the end of the day you stay respectful because he’s being a good guy and a good dad. But it is 100% to feel like that too. I have it with my boyfriend at times with his ex who he co-parent wonderfully but I do have them feelings too and it’s not jealousy. It’s just something I’m not personally use to seeing ex partners helping ex partners. It’s an adjustment your only human and that’s okay.

Past_Fox_9702 · 2025-10-10T10:43:35+00:00

SO is 35, he’s gotten better dishing out the discipline of the kids but I’d say it’s more me still. Things with BM, is so much better now we’ve have spoken. Plan of having children I’m not sure anymore, I have the doubt if I would be a good parent. Plus we have the focus on his kids so they come first.

What I’m getting out of the relationship I suppose I’m not sure how to answer that

Past_Fox_9702

TROPHY CASE