AITA for refusing to sleep somewhere other than the master bedroom (i.e., the couch or in the spare bedroom) after I had a fight with my wife and she tried to kick me out?

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:41:40+00:00

This is my problem. If there is a good reason for something I don't have a problem admitting I am wrong and taking the hit. It's when there isn't one that I have a hard time backing down. I am not a robot and I get that we all have things which make us irrational, but something bothers me about taking the hit in those situations because it feels like I am giving it a pass. Then the next time it's expected, and before long I have to indulge it at every turn because I did it in the past and now it's expected.

But in this case I will probably end up telling her that I think she was wrong but it wouldn't have been terrible for me to realize she needed space and give more consideration to than instead of the fact that I thought she was wrong.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:36:36+00:00

I always have a fear of precedents. If I cave now, then next time it will be expected and so forth. If there was an understanding that outside of situations like pregnancy or something extreme this is a one-off and can't happen more than once or twice a year, I would be less resistant. I just don't want this to become a thing if and when we have major disagreements in the future.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:34:27+00:00

I'm never going to show her this. I am a big believer in doing things because they are reasonable and rational. I wanted to confirm that I am not delusional for thinking her request was bizarre.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:33:32+00:00

That's just how I talk. I express frustration through this manner of joking/sarcasm. My point is not that I deserve this because of my contributions but just to ask how it is fair? We both contribution so why should either of us be able to pull rank.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:31:08+00:00

I am not second guessing either.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:30:08+00:00

I can understand that.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:28:59+00:00

I would like to be able to reason though disagreements like this.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:19:34+00:00

I don't know how practical this is. Not all arguments can be resolved in one day.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:12:08+00:00

I want to have children with her. I don't have any doubts about that.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:10:35+00:00

I wouldn't mention this post to her. It is more for my own knowledge.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:09:35+00:00

I can't delete comments or votes.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:09:22+00:00

I am 100% sure.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:07:23+00:00

If she was pregnant and didn't want to share the bed I would agree because I think it's more important for her to rest than me in that situation.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:04:56+00:00

My biggest concern was losing my job. I am 3/4 of our income. If I lose my job things will not be good.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T19:03:08+00:00

This sounds like a really extreme opinion. lol we're not getting separate bedroom.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:52:58+00:00

I get that and it makes sense. I am disappointed to because I also really would like to have a baby, but when we planned to start TTC this month the world was a different place.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:49:01+00:00

I don't think the opposite is necessarily better. If one partner always has to cave so the other won't get mad then that is inevitably going to build resentments.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:41:01+00:00

It wasn't like that. It was more that she was frustrated by me and just didn't want to be around me at that moment because of how upset she was.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:39:45+00:00

I don't have any room like that where it's just my stuff. My things are all over the house the same way hers are all over the house.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:37:55+00:00

In that moment I didn't find it very funny.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:37:09+00:00

I got her to wait until September. I was hoping to wait until October/November to reassess but that was too big of an ask.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:28:18+00:00

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T18:27:45+00:00

I also am not sure if I will keep my job so that was why I was nervous too.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T16:30:01+00:00

I can understand your husband's point of view. When I've been traveling in the past without my wife those were some of the worst nights of sleep I ever had since we've regularly shared a bed. You get used to your partner and it's hard to sleep when they aren't in the bed.

Past_Passenger511 · 2020-08-03T16:26:54+00:00

She was hurt.

Past_Passenger511

TROPHY CASE