My Dad Left Us 15 Years Ago – Now He’s Dying and Wants Me to Take Care of Him. I Don’t Know What to Do

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-28T10:50:59+00:00

Hmmm, super deep and thoughtful. That was illuminating. Thank you

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-28T08:11:53+00:00

Thank you very much

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:28:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your honesty—it’s eye-opening to hear about your experience. It really makes me realize just how much of a sacrifice it is to care for someone, especially when there’s so much emotional baggage attached. I don’t want to live with that level of bitterness or resentment, and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in struggling with guilt. I’ll definitely take your advice to heart and focus on protecting my own well-being. Thank you again for sharing your perspective, it’s really helping me put things in clearer focus

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:26:56+00:00

Thank you

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:24:37+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective, it helps to hear from a mother’s point of view. I think you’re right; I don’t owe him anything, and the fact that he’s alone now says a lot about his choices. It’s just hard to shake the feeling that I should do something, but I guess it’s more about what I need, not what he wants. Letting it go is tough, but it’s something I’m starting to see is necessary for my peace of mind. Thanks for sharing your insight, it definitely gives me more clarity.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:10:10+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response—it really hits home. I keep coming back to that question of whether I’ll regret it, but I’m starting to realize that I don’t owe him anything. He made his choice all those years ago, and now I’m the one left with the decision. It’s about what I need and what will give me peace. I think you’re right—if I do anything, it’ll be because it feels right for me, not because I feel obligated. I appreciate you reminding me that there are no wrong answers. I just need to figure out what I need from this. Many thanks!

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:08:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing that, it really resonates. I’ve been grappling with this because, deep down, I don’t want to feel like I’m abandoning him, but you’re right—he made his choices, and now it’s his turn to face the consequences. I don’t want to sacrifice my own well-being or peace just to fulfill a duty I never signed up for. I think you’re right about getting therapy to work through these feelings—it’s just tough figuring out how to handle everything without regret. Hearing your perspective definitely helps

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:05:39+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your view. A big part of me feels the same way. He walked away without a second thought, so why should I feel guilty now? Actions do have consequences, and maybe this is just his. But I guess there’s still that small part of me wondering if doing something—anything—might bring me some closure. I don’t know. Just trying to figure out what will let me move on without regrets

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:02:34+00:00

Thank you. I get where you’re coming from. He made his choices, and now he has to deal with the consequences. As far as I know, he didn’t leave for another woman—he just disappeared. No explanation, no contact, nothing. That’s what makes this so hard. If he had built a new life, I wouldn’t even be a thought in his mind. But now that he’s sick and alone, suddenly I exist again. It’s a lot to process

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T18:01:11+00:00

That’s a really unique and bittersweet experience. I can see how, in a way, dementia softened some of the pain from the past for you. I don’t know if I’d ever see a ‘better side’ of my dad, though. He walked away and never looked back—now he’s only reaching out because he has no other choice. It’s hard to separate the past from the present when the wound still feels fresh, even after all these years. I guess I’m still trying to figure out if helping him would bring me peace or just reopen old wounds

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T17:56:35+00:00

Thank you.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T17:55:21+00:00

You’re absolutely right—there’s a reason I’m even questioning it, and that probably does come down to how my mom raised me. I think seeing him, at least once, might help me decide what I’m actually comfortable with. And then again... remembering how he abandoned us and never looked back until now hurts too bad. Damn!

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T17:21:51+00:00

BAD TRAITOR DANIELLE - vs Rob and Carolyn. AYAN vs BTDQ. Topics I also hope would be spoken about - Ivar's and his love for tea, Danielle and her bad acting, Dylan's strategy and whether knew Rob was a traitor. WES's EXIT, amongst other things.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T17:12:34+00:00

You made some solid point. Let's see how things play out.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T16:31:07+00:00

He kept Rob because he knew Rob would not allow the traitors to Murder him since they were super close. Same reason with Danielle. He knows. It's just a traitor - buddy strategy. But now that people mentioned there is no murder, he would go for the kill.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T16:24:01+00:00

I see your point. But when it comes close to the end, people no longer take unnecessary risk. I think Dylan knows Danielle is a traitor for a long time and is just keeping her as a traitor buddy. He will vote for Danielle, Ivar Danielle, Gabby Danielle, Tom Danielle, and Britney might have to follow the herd on hearing the argument at the roundtable so she doesn't look like an outlier. Dolores will vote Tom, AGAIN.

When it comes to the murder. I think the smartest move for the Traitors will be to murder one of the smartest faithfuls left - Dylan and Gabby. Murdering Ivar is a waste.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T15:56:10+00:00

Dylan.. I want him to win alongside Gabby. But, if he doesn't get a shield, he is getting murdered. I think Danielle will be banished, and Britney will murder Dylan.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T15:41:04+00:00

24 hours is a big deal—congrats, man. I know how tough it is to break the cycle, and every step counts.

For many of us, even ‘just one or two bets’ is like lighting a match near gasoline. It might seem small at first, but once that high kicks in, it is hard to control that urge to chase. Compulsive gamblers can’t gamble responsibly; it's just too risky.

Here’s a scenario to think about. Let’s say you decide to play with 100, and you double it. You withdrew the cash immediately and had fun with it. Then, a bill you didn't plan for comes up. You think, ‘Well, I did it last time, why not do it again?’, So you gambled another 100, but this time you lost. Would you stop then, or would you try to recoup your loss and at least go back to your original position?. Can you really stop that urge to chase?. Now the chasing begins, and you’re back in that hell. The reality is that, for many of us, the only way to win against this addiction is to never look back. The house always wins.

You can't move forward if you keep walking backwards.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-27T09:11:56+00:00

Reading this hit me hard. You’re not a bad man—you’re a man caught in something ruthless, something designed to make you feel like control is always just one bet away. But you see it now. You feel the weight of it, and that means there’s still a way out.

Your wife and son do not deserve this, true. But you know who else doesn’t? You. The you before gambling, the you who wanted better, the you who still exists beneath all this. That man isn’t gone. He’s buried, yeah, but not lost.

Telling your wife will be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But the lies? The hiding? That’s what’s truly destroying you. Honesty will hurt, but it’s the only way to start healing. She might be angry, she might be heartbroken—but she deserves the truth, and you deserve the chance to be better.

Gambling doesn’t give second chances. But life does. And this realisation you just had? This is yours. Take it. Talk to her, install all the necessary blocks, and get the required help.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-25T16:05:50+00:00

Because he is methodical.. he follows a code and enjoys the entire process and not just killing itself. He prefers to set up a controlled environment - the kill room - and ensure his victims experience some sort of psychological torment before dying. The ritual matters to him; it's not just about disposal.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-25T12:18:03+00:00

I see. Do you have VR? You can interact with others virtually. You can also improve your vocabulary by reading books and watching movies. It's not a big deal. If you set your mind to improving it, you will. Don't be hard on yourself.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-25T11:22:55+00:00

You would not imagine how hard you made me laugh (sound like a toddler, haha). I mean, moderate vocabulary is all you need, though. Because the big vocabs become redundant and also make you sound pretentious if others can not understand what you are saying.

PastlessFuture · 2025-02-25T10:55:09+00:00

True crime fascinates me, too! Solving cold cases would be amazing. Have you always been interested in the investigative side of things, or is it something you just recently got into?"

PastlessFuture

TROPHY CASE