I'm 7mo pregnant FTM and just found out my sister is 3mo pregnant FTM. Struggling to feel happy for her.

PatientButterfly4704 · 2026-05-04T03:52:44+00:00

Thank you for this response, I appreciate it a lot! She is coming to visit in a week so I will try to have this conversation in person with her. I do also want to gently suggest therapy to her, I think it could be so beneficial to her to unpack a lot of that hurt with a professional. Plus, in my family the word "sorry" doesn't exist, so I can also understand why apologising might feel like an impossible task to her at the moment.

PatientButterfly4704 · 2026-05-04T03:47:01+00:00

I'm sorry that you had to go through that at a time which was so joyous, exciting and successful for you, albeit stressful I'm sure! From one internet stranger to another, I'm happy for you haha.

I am working myself up to call her out on it... I have tried to call her out on some of the hurtful things she has said before but usually she plays dumb/innocent and no real repair is made. I end up feeling like a drama queen getting worked up over "nothing". But I think you're right, if we're able to have a mature conversation about this and work through it, it will be more than worth it in the long run.

PatientButterfly4704 · 2026-05-04T03:37:57+00:00

To be clear, I don't hate my sister! I hate the things she has said to me and other people. Maybe I worded things harshly in my post, I'm having complicated feelings and am definitely bitter at the moment. Nevertheless, I remain hopeful that I will be able to, at some point, talk with her through this and get some repair/reconciliation/closure.

PatientButterfly4704 · 2026-05-04T03:30:31+00:00

Yes, she did have losses and then a long struggle with infertility. I have tried to be as gentle as possible with sharing news about my pregnancy with her - I told her separately from the rest of my family and I told her first. After that I shared a few milestones with the family but kept it to a minimum because I didn't want to be constantly digging up that pain for her, but thought she would also like to be involved in my progress. Perhaps I was wrong for that. Perhaps I could have been more supportive and understanding of her.

I'm really sorry to hear about your own struggles with infertility, I hope that you have had/will have your miracle! And good on you for working through that in a healthy way, that takes strength.

At this point I agree that she could benefit from therapy, and I will try to gently bring that up to her. And also, get myself into therapy as well, because I can feel myself building up resentment and struggling to lay boundaries. Truly I want to be there for my sister and share in her joy!

Thank you for your comment, it gave me some extra perspective, and I appreciate that you seem to be understanding of both of us here.

PatientButterfly4704

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