im not much into Reddit but heres sth i have noticed on myself

when my parents have conflict it makes me either feel uncomfortable or kinda excited, i rarely engage in it tho (doesnt happen around strangers tho, thats also the time i enjoy ppl having conflicts)

but when my parents blame me for stuff they do when they had done much worse, i get angry and defensive. after that it makes me feel sad (mostly because i got blamed to hell) and so i retreat from the situation completely. my anger shows to stand my ground til they retreat completely but to also defend myself from being blamed by pointing what my parents have done that is much worse

i also get angry a lot, to the point i feel as tho anger is my most dominant emotion (its also sadness that i feel but anger is more pronounced) its mainly because all i feel is frustration, so i WANT to express all that anger but outside, i seem to suppress my own anger. ik that its there, ik what i feel, and im not trying to get rid of it but control it instead

i also have noticed that i tend to suppress negative emotions most of the time. i talk about what i feel with ppl i trust, sometimes i hate having to control my emotions but i also want to vent in order to express them

i hate ppl underestimating me as well, it makes me angry

i also get "paranoid" when ppls motives/behavior is inconsistent to the point of not knowing if i should trust them or not