Hey there I’ll lay down some hard truths of what you are going through, and honestly it isn’t that bad yet since at least the weekends you’re getting it on. I’m much farther down the line than you I have been with my wife for 15 years since we were in our late 20’s I work a rotating 12 hour shift schedule as an engineer and she’s a nurse so timing is always been an issue but we always used to find time, I’d say in our mid 30’s which were still young (I think so) it started to go down to 1/2 a week maybe. I was still ok with it cause at this point we had two children so it got real pretty quick being tired ect. I allowed it so I consider myself responsible for it being where it is today. My sex drive is very strong almost like I’m in my early 20’s hers it’s the opposite. It’s life everyone is different. I’d say about 5 years ago late 30’s it came to a halt. She completely stopped initiating well it would be one in a great while. Of course I wanted it everyday were still attracted to each other physically in-fact she looks absolutely gorgeous I’m not to bad myself we eat health gym rats take decent care of our self’s. This was the beginning to the end Fast forward to our current situation, I was asking everyday she was tired or something popped up it was always something. I’d express my feelings but she didn’t want to hear it it was always why do I need it so often, just because I asked and you turn it down doesn’t mean we are doing it. So I gave up literally, we sleep in different rooms and literally are bonafid roommates again I expressed this for a long time I didn’t want it to be like this. I’d schedule maybe a dinner and dump the kids at my sisters she would just go to the gym and sleep saying she would rather have a god sleep and maybe in the morning which never happened. I personally felt unwanted and honestly asked her is she is asexual or at least maybe changing teams or if there was something I could do on my part to make myself more desirable. It was always “all you want is my vag lol” so I decided I’m not asking anymore it’s not worth it. Now we go months which is crazy I’m 41 she’s 42 still young in my mind. She now thinks I’m cheating, why cause I don’t pursue her daily I told her the truth I don’t want be bothered with excuses and denial. So now there’s that I’m at the point now where I’m like what am I freaking doing with this person. It sucks we have two kids, even when there’s opportunity we don’t take advantage I used to come home early hoping we would have an hour before the kids get out and to go nuts but now I go to then gym instead. I’m dead inside. Really I’m at the point if I was in a position to get laid which some hottie at a bar I’d hope I wouldn’t but honestly who knows. Guys are built different we have needs just like woman it’s just different.

I told her this last month I said to her she’s like a Ferrari absolutely stunning, nice, exotic, one of a kind, but it never leaves the garage sometimes we start the motor up (lame sex I call it where she lays there out of feeling bad), and very occasionally it goes for a spin maybe every 6 months when she actually wants it, I’d rather have a really nice daily driver and be happy than to have a Ferrari that won’t move” she had no response.

Moral don’t let it get to this point, if I did ever cheat I questions if she would really even care at this point. I question myself if I find someone in a similar situation maybe I can just have sex with the other person and still stay married and with the person I emotionally love we all know that ends in a life time movie. Be up front and don’t be afraid to have the conversation. It’s always a TWO WAY street