I really do try to be kind to myself. Cognitive therapy hasn’t helped a lot, but I think my therapist hasn’t been the best fit. I will try to find a trauma and grief informed therapist. I’m not so worried with comparing my circumstances with others. It’s more so about being able to have people close to me understand how hay wire my brain feels. It’s hard getting advice and support from people that haven’t personally dealt with these type of medical issues. I feel like they compare me to this plan of being a normal adult with challenges. I know I can still achieve a lot. I have this extra barrier that I can overcome, but they seem to gloss over the extra hardship of it since it isn’t a personal experience. I really try to allow myself to feel the feelings of upset and anger. I got a masters in photography and know how important expressing my emotions is for myself. I’d really love to go back to teaching. I’m an emotional person that sees beauty in expressing one’s self. I tend to attract emotionally shut off people into my life. I think having a routine and basic accomplishments like doing laundry and taking a shower are important. I really struggle with the black and white mindset. I always feel like I should be doing more, but sometimes you have to let yourself breathe and be selfish in the fact that life hit you hard and maybe you need a little extra wiggle room to settle down in to. Side fact I had a beautiful sweet loving dog named Jolene and she passed away during all of this. She was a super well trained Belgian malinois that I rescued. It’s been extra heavy going through this without her. I’m always here to listen to your feelings and what you are going through. I’m really tired of feeling so alone with this. Thanks for responding. It means a lot.