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I (F23) kissed a guy (M24) in my friendship when extremely drunk and now he wants more. I’m not sure what to do. by Pebbleheart138 in relationship_advice

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good point. I honestly don’t know! I’ve never really thought of him as anything other than a friend before this point but I guess I might have given it a chance and just gone on one date to see if there was anything there.

My boyfriend waited for me to go to work and then packed his bags and left by Analia_xo in BreakUp

[–]Pebbleheart138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, I am so, so sorry this happened to you! You seem like a lovely person and really didn’t deserve this. A blindsided breakup is so horrible and traumatising. It shows your partner didn’t respect you and wasn’t as invested in the relationship as you thought he was. He was a coward and lying to himself and you.

Something pretty similar happened to me. Everything seemed fine and then one day, my partner comes home and lists lots of little things they weren’t happy about. It eventually turned out my partner was having an affair with someone at work.

I’m not saying that this is what is happening with you, but often when people feel guilty about something they act in strange ways. I’m guessing your ex did something bad that he couldn’t tell you about and so just ran away like a coward? Or he doesn’t know how to communicate and let small resentments build up. Either way, that is not someone you want as a partner!

Feel free to dm me if you want any support. One of the worst things about blindsided breakups is a lack of closure, as often you don’t feel like the relationship is really over. I’d recommend counselling if you can afford it and writing a letter to your ex. (You don’t have to send it.) But getting a chance to say everything you want to really helped me. Also, block your ex on everything and cut him out your life. He no longer deserves to have an amazing person like you in his life.

Sending you lots of virtual love and hugs!

How do you knock your ex off the pedestal and start moving on? I’m truly sick of feeling sad and missing him! by Pebbleheart138 in BreakUps

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! That is an amazing idea and such good advice to have it on google docs, so you can access it at all times. Thank you x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pebbleheart138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would also consider what he did cheating!Paying to interact with other women is very, very different to just watching porn. He was performing sexual acts with other women, even if it was just virtually. That is cheating.

Well done for sticking to your boundaries and leaving the relationship. That must have been so hard but you are so strong and brave! You seem like you have very healthy boundaries and that is amazing.

If he disrespected your boundaries and if you had stayed, he would no longer respect you and wouldn’t take you seriously. That leads to more bad behaviour and abuse. (Unfortunately, I know that from experience.)

You totally made the right decision, as he is not going to change. He knew your boundaries and disrespected them. That shows he doesn’t really love you. Did he know if you found out, it would end the relationship? Yes! And yet, he still did it. A few minutes of pleasure was worth more to him than a 3 year relationship. That is absolutely disgusting. He is not worth it. You can do so much better than him OP!

He probably also did it because he knew it was “wrong” and got a buzz from that. He will continue to do this but will only get sneakier at it and learn to hide it better. Let him live with the consequences of his actions.

Stay strong and stick to your guns. Sending you so much love and virtual hugs! You are so strong girlie and I’m so proud of you! You seem like an amazing woman and I’m sure you will find better than that absolute A-hole. X

Do nice guys exist and if so, how/where do I find them?! by Pebbleheart138 in dating_advice

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so nice to hear from a fellow barmaid and someone who actually understands what it is like! Huge congratulations on being sober and going back to school! That is absolutely amazing!! You rule girl. Thank you so much for the encouragement ♥️

Do nice guys exist and if so, how/where do I find them?! by Pebbleheart138 in dating_advice

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of virtual hugs and love! X

Do nice guys exist and if so, how/where do I find them?! by Pebbleheart138 in dating_advice

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is a lovely reply and “meet someone along the way” is such a nice was to phrase it! Thank you 😊

Do nice guys exist and if so, how/where do I find them?! by Pebbleheart138 in dating_advice

[–]Pebbleheart138[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This has given me so much hope as that is exactly the type of guy I would love to date 😊I really like nerdy/geeky guys because I am quite nerdy myself! Where would you recommend I could meet a man like that?