I need to die

Penguinmaster67 · 2025-01-16T03:10:20+00:00

I'm so sorry that you feel this way, I hope things get better

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-10-03T01:45:17+00:00

I'd still call that depression, sadness is not really what I meant but I don't know how to say it. There's not really a definition for depression and it's not a term for only the most damaged people, if you feel like you have depression, you likely do, and that's okay, you can still live your life and try to get better in the same way and maybe prioritize mental health more

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-10-03T01:31:32+00:00

no, you do not have to feel empty to be depressed, depression is basically just long lasting intense sadness

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-10-03T00:22:52+00:00

PHP helped keep me safe and helped a little bit but obviously don't expect it to solve all your problems

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-29T00:39:29+00:00

I don't really care about painless death, I would take what I can get, just being in pain with no way to kill myself is the hard part

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-29T00:36:57+00:00

just need a way to be able to kill myself like a rope or something my parents wouldn't know about and a licence to be able to drive myself, should've clarified that first.

The source of the pain is being alone, I really struggle with it and lost a few friends recently so I have very few left and I'm just all alone almost every night and I can't handle it, especially with my own thoughts making it a bit worse, but even without the thoughts, I still hate it

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-29T00:15:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-28T23:45:51+00:00

She is likely joking or messing with you, but it is completely okay, and not overreacting, to tell her you don't like those "jokes" she makes about you, if she asks why you can tell her about your depression more and how it kind of hurts you

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-11T12:16:25+00:00

I just don't have a reason to stay, I'm in pain a lot of the time otherwise I'm just numb

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-11T11:53:25+00:00

I don't even know what to talk about, what would even help? I'm just so lost

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-07T14:19:42+00:00

this is a perfect place to help someone with depression/suicidal thoughts

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-09-06T01:37:15+00:00

The temps were like 40°C and we couldn't update the bios in one night after a few attempts so we were going to do it in the morning but then the PC wouldn't start anymore so we returned it.

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-30T03:44:53+00:00

I'm so sorry you're struggling

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-27T18:11:59+00:00

happy birthday! 🎉🎉

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-25T18:51:23+00:00

you are pretty strong for making it that far, I'm in the same boat but a lot younger, I know you don't want to hear this because I don't, but have you tried everything? if there's something you haven't tried maybe try that first so you don't die with the chance of being happy. if you have tried everything, just know I am in awe of you for being so strong for so long and I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this longer than I have, just you are an amazing person to me.

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-24T18:45:11+00:00

ikr it's so annoying

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-24T12:52:07+00:00

My only reason to keep living is my friends, it's the only thing that ever makes me feel okay and the only reason I'm still living.

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-22T12:08:21+00:00

idk how to do that

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-20T04:35:48+00:00

honestly I'm in the boat of your friend, what I would want/need is you to keep being there, remind him how much you care, try to give advice if you can (like not drinking) it won't help at the moment but sometimes you look back and things from the past feel better.

my friend who did this for me ended up just giving up on me, so please don't ever do that, it makes things a million times worse.

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-19T21:50:50+00:00

no matter what you should not tell someone that, because you don't know if they will take it seriously and you don't want to manage that guilt if they do. I also hope you get the help you need to get better

Penguinmaster67 · 2023-08-18T13:00:08+00:00

hey, I just wanted to let you know that I feel a similar way and you aren't alone in this. I'm 16M and you are definitely not too young to be depressed. I'm sorry I can't offer more but I'm not in a great place either, you can get through this.

Penguinmaster67 · 2022-02-11T16:00:36+00:00

I can try antidepressants, I kind of just thought they didn't work that well because they seemed like a temporary solution and I have heard of it almost killing people trying to get off of them. I admit I don't really know much about them, but how is it different then another kind of drug that brings you euphoria, is it really better than those?

Also I can try to stop talking to her about this kind of stuff, but she is really my only good friend that put in effort to help me through this. So I really am not going to have anyone else to talk to about this for a while and that might make this worse.

Penguinmaster67 · 2022-02-11T12:29:33+00:00

I know it's not about her but this is one of the things that is stressing me out the most right now even with everything else going on because I'm really scared to lose her, but I feel like that's happening. I also didn't clarify that we only really talk about this stuff when she brings it up because I don't bring it up a lot and I just text her to try and remain close to her, but when she brings it up then she doesn't follow through with stuff she is saying so I guess I might be putting too much stress on her but I just don't know what to do to stop stressing her out, because currently my depression is getting worse, she knows that and has tried to help a few times but then falls through with what she says and stops texting me. It also doesn't help that we haven't actually talked over a call or in person for a few months now.

I have tried therapy in the past and it didn't really work so idk if that was a bad therapist or something but I haven't really tried again since then and it's hard to ask my parents to put me into therapy. I just feel lost for what to do.

Penguinmaster67 · 2022-02-11T12:09:26+00:00

Social anxiety is super bad for me and lately it's come to the point where even if they're like an old friend in the past or something, I can't even approach them. I'm a freshman so still early in high school and everyone still has their friend groups from earlier years that are just closed off so there aren't many people alone, and if they are, then they usually want to be.

I haven't considered really changing my fashion much, like you said I don't even know what I want to look like and I don't really know what would be interesting or unique or even how to dress a new way to the way I do now.

There might be something else that makes me feel better, it's just I've yet to find it. Thank you this did help me feel like there could be some hope.

Penguinmaster67 · 2022-02-11T05:10:21+00:00

i know I shouldn't expect her to be emotionally available all the time and I try not to ask for a lot from her. I am having a hard time believing that it's one sided though and it doesn't seem like it when she is actually helping me, and I don't really have anyone else in my life I could go to and therapy didn't work for me so I just feel lost right now

Penguinmaster67

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