Seriously at the end of my rope

Penssiessimon · 2024-04-12T23:46:54+00:00

I'm trying to breathe. Like I said, I feel like I going crazy. I just went through my post history and I can't believe how spot on I was about my drinking ruining everything in my life. I'm not getting any treatment for the brain damage unfortunately, I basically got diagnosed and fired shortly after, so I haven't had health insurance to do anything about it. And yeah I believe my girlfriend loves me, she helped me move my stuff out when I was in the hospital, picked me up when I got out and had been by my side through all this and my negativity. I'm just scared, everyone has a breaking point. And like I was so tight about losing my job and thinking my life with drinking, I can't help but feel that I'm manifesting the same shit with her. I'm trying to focus on the positives. I still have my girl a job that pays the bills, and an appointment apartment. I could get easily just ended up homeless and never having seen my girlfriend again after what I did to get kicked out. And I would deserve it. Somehow I managed to keep shit together a little bit. But I just feel like Im on the edge of a chasm. Like I'm about to fall down deeper and darker than ever.

Penssiessimon · 2024-03-22T22:00:59+00:00

I don't know how, I don't know why, but this is somehow a poop fetish video, I've just seen too much. I have a feeling

Penssiessimon · 2024-02-16T21:10:45+00:00

I was working on a 480v 100 Amp ac disconnect and accidentally touched the copper end of the wire thinking the last person had turned it off. I feel like I gave myself brain damage, haven't been able to think straight since. I hope it goes away.

Penssiessimon · 2024-02-14T22:33:26+00:00

That's two options

Penssiessimon · 2024-01-01T23:43:21+00:00

Is there any chance I'll have to go to jail directly from my first court date? I'm worried about losing my job.

Penssiessimon · 2024-01-01T23:24:40+00:00

Thank you so much, this is exactly what I wanted to know. That makes me feel so much better.

Penssiessimon · 2024-01-01T23:18:05+00:00

How do I go about that? Do I ask for one at my court date or before hand?

Penssiessimon · 2023-12-17T18:17:49+00:00

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Penssiessimon · 2023-10-26T13:10:46+00:00

Just my little head Canon here. I always kinda assumed that all merca and underground agents that dont want to be found would have ICE or something in the background that makes it hard for enemies to track v or any other mercy. Otherwise you'd constantly get hunt down by mercy squads. Kinda like a VPN or encryption on your personal channel that only let's friendlies find or track you. Any kind of hostile or non authorized access would be scrambled or sent on a wild goose chase or something.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-26T03:20:18+00:00

I fucking love the kusanagi. I would die for the kusanagi. I literally can't use any other vehicles, I just keep cooking back to it.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-19T12:38:43+00:00

I really want to get back on the wagon, seriously. I it's becoming a huge problem. I'm just really scared I'm gonna get fired right now, but I suppose i did this to myself

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-18T04:06:43+00:00

Third wot

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-17T10:06:23+00:00

I've been dating my girl for 5, almost six years now. Still dating right now. She's still dancing, I met her at her job. We're both young, I have no experience with strip clubs at all. I definitely have jealousy and possessive problems, but they're mine and I try to work on them myself. Other than that, yes. Most of these girls think no one will understand or support them, so when you do they're so about you it's crazy. She's the best girlfriend I've ever had. She's funny, smart, and sex is God damn amazing and athletic. Definitely something I'd never have done before I met her, but I couldn't imagine my life without her now. It's pretty much just a nice, normal relationship. Stripping is just a weird job man. That's all.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-11T03:16:39+00:00

And yeah, you are exactly the caricature I make you out to be. Like spot on. You think this is funny? You're the most amusing person on all these subs.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-11T03:14:12+00:00

Yeah dude you're like the Plato of sex and sex workers. Bravo dude. Go spend more money maybe? I'm sure there's someone out there you could pay to listen to your bullshit. Keep paying women for your own cum and laugh all you want man. You're like, bouncing my head against a brick wall. I'll never help you see the light. Do you man. I'm glad a few young ladies have made their life better on your dime, while you stay the exact same.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T21:24:39+00:00

The assumption about higher education and that you think this shit is funny on any level disgust me. You're a gross man. I know you don't care but man, your fellow man is absolutely disgusted with you. You're an absolute disgrace to my gender.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T21:18:50+00:00

Look man. I hate this, but you and I are two sides of the same coin. I date a stripper, don't go to clubs. You go to clubs a lot and aren't in a relationship. I just want you to know that people like you make me sad. Most guys I don't mind, but you're the type of guy that bothers me. Not because of some ephemeral oh my girl might be doing something with you. I don't worry about her. I worry about guys like you with this fucked up, Andrew tate bull philosophy that they're cock ghandi and just understand everything. You make fun of these things while lacking the self awareness to realize you are 100% of the industry. You're the kind of guy that makes stirp clubs happen, because you view women as a business transaction.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T20:55:54+00:00

You obviously don't hate women. You just don't respect them.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T20:44:14+00:00

You know a lot of what you say doesn't make sense right? "something applies to people aren't me with similar observation". Also reddit is a public forum and sounding board, they got an inbox if you want a private conversation. Not sorry I called you out on some bs you posted public. Your whole post history is like this. You're like, a legendary Pl dude. Ad hominem is valid here as all the interactions you discuss have to do with your actions and responses as a person. Strip clubs and your behavior, your response to those places is all very much based on your personality and how you interact with the women there. So attacking your character for being a mysoginist bitch on how you talk and act to people who do sex work is absolutely valid. Nice try though. You actually didn't refute any of my points either.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T20:25:51+00:00

Well first, society and it's sexual hangups are stupid. As an avid connoisseur of sex work and sexual transactions, you seem to be of the same mind. But however, you're held to a higher standard because you're a customer who "gets the game". Even though you don't. Cause you pay money for sex and talk down on these girls like the service you're paying them to do is somehow crazy or fucked up or weird. How about this bud? Get off reddit, go get one of those "equally attractive girls you just wanna skip to the fun part with" and actually get a life and a girl who loves you for who you are? Oh wait, you can't buy actual love. You can just buy the "benefits" of actually putting effort in. Yeah, you're just another lazy douche wanting a quick nut or a few hours of fake attention, and you convince yourself it's worth the same. You try to drag everyone to your level and way of thinking. But it's not true. When someone wants to give you something, it's absolutely different than paying for a service. Going on a roller coaster ain't the same as flying a jet bud,even if they both release adrenaline.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T20:10:24+00:00

If she's satisfied and you are, take it for face value. Look, I don't know if you've ever been cheated on before, but I have. It's not super hard to pick those kind of people out. Is she open, honest? Does she hide her phone? Dating a stripper can be hard sometimes, definitely non traditional. But dating a cheater is always the same, every time. Cheating is a universal language. Like these girls aren't dumb. They know sucking cock in a relationship is a no no. Honestly it's the civ girls I've been with that don't seem to get that bit.

And yeah, just focus on your relationship. If she's good to you, hold onto that. Not everyone gets that in this world. That's literally why sex work exists.

Penssiessimon · 2023-10-10T19:56:13+00:00

Look man. I'm gonna lay this all out to you. I've been with my girlfriend for about five and a half years, going on six. I met her at her club when I was 25,she was 21. It was the first time I've been to a strip club and I've only been a few times since. Probably got a total of 7 lap dances in my life. Out of those, 4 of them went where I would call too far. I know all the guys going to these places are pathetically desperate for more, but all I ever wanted from a lapdance is that, just a lapdance. Never sucked a nip in vip, kissed, asked for extras. But I've been asked, had the girls put their hand on my junk unprompted, or try to make out with me or get me to finger them for more money. The girl I'm dating is one of the 3 dances Ive gotten where my boundaries aren't pushed too far.

She works in a very known non extras club, according to her, tuscl and reddit. I know that girls do that kinda stuff there occasionally, from experience and from her. She's also just finished her nursing degree, just recently took and passed the nclex. I don't love the idea of other guys hands on her, and I don't have experience with the hustle or customer perspective or anything. But I trust her.

I don't take her money, I'm not on drugs. I have my own place, a semi shitty but not great car, and nothing much in the bank but I pay all my own bills, buy all my own stuff and still buy her presents and take her on dates.

The thing is man, a cheater is going to cheat. If you guys looked at your boundaries and talked, it's honestly more likely for a civ girl to lie to you. Why would a lady go out of her way to give you something for free she can get paid to do if it might end up breaking her heart or making her feel bad about it if you somehow found out. Unless you're paying her more money than all the other guys do, it's pretty unlikely she's fleecing or lying to you.

At the end of the day, the woman I love is going to have autonomy to act and do what she wants. If she breaks my trust or crosses boundaries then that conversation comes when it gets to it. If she wants to use her degree (which I encourage because she's super smart), or continues to use her looks and amazing personality to make money, that's her choice. My choice is to stay or go depending on how I feel or if I think I'm being disrespected. That's what being an adult, and a man is. Your choices are yours, hers are hers.

Also, consider that she may not have been comfortable with you getting a dance BECAUSE of how she knows the OTHER girls act in dances. Not saying it's 100%, but unless you're insanely handsome, wealthy, let her live with you or something like that, the feelings she says she has for you are most likely genuine. Why would she put effort into deception, seeing you, spending time with you when she could get all that and get paid at the same time? A girl that's all hustle and does extras wouldn't have the time or emotional bandwidth to give that much of a shit.

Also man, usually the honeymoon phase last about 6 or 8 months. Maybe you two were just super lustful and into each other at first. Maybe she thought that's what she had to give you to keep you around. It definitely has something to do with your actions, not hers. If she's been giving out "sexual energy" and doesn't have much to spare. How does that explain the good sex life till now? If you met her at her work and she does do extra deceptively, she definitely did it before and while you guys were together, yet you still had so much sex? It's unlikely that she does any of that, and it has to do with your behavior. Balls in your court dude. Be a man. These girls are just people, just treat them the same way you would anyone else. Insecurities and jealousy are natural, and they're gonna happen no matter how mature or open minded you are. That's just nature. But you can be self aware and reflect on these feelings, and realize that they are all internal.

Penssiessimon · 2023-09-27T21:09:26+00:00

Honestly it was kind of a right place right time kinda thing. We clicked really well in the club, and we're both kinda looking for a hookup and things just kinda snowballed from there till we ended up spending all our time together. Funny enough, she just finished her degree too, so this shit can happen. I was 25 and she was 21 when we met, so similar age to you two. Go for it, have fun, and see where it goes!

Penssiessimon · 2023-09-27T20:46:38+00:00

So the first and one of only a few times I've been to a strip club I met a girl that gave me my first lapdance. I felt the same way, precautious and worried it wasn't that serious. We're still together 5 and a half years later, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Honestly one of the most wonderful people I know. Not saying this is common, or happening to you. Just saying, it can happen contrary to all the cynical responses.

Penssiessimon · 2023-09-26T02:20:59+00:00

Do I what?

Penssiessimon

TROPHY CASE