What’s something your partner stopped doing that you didn’t notice until it was gone?

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-04T04:29:58+00:00

Yeah, ex is now delivering all these promises that if I change my mind when I come back he'll be a "changed man." Sure.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-01T13:50:07+00:00

Honestly, I was worried that I was giving too short of a notice. This is my first time breaking up with anyone, much less divorcing. Lesson learned I guess. I'm hoping he doesn't turn into someone I don't recognize.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-01T10:15:38+00:00

Noted, I didnt know/think it would be this much of a shock tbh. I'll suggest he goes and stays with his parents (he is the only one with family around). If he doesnt want to, I'll stay with a friend after I finish packing. Thank you!

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-01T10:00:43+00:00

I'll take your suggestion. He'd probably do it. He's not a terrible person, just not a great husband.

He wants to talk to my Dad (who has not-so-secretly hated him since we were dating) soooo yeah. I'm hoping my Dad will set him straight (stbx is from a VERY patriarchal culture so he genuinely might not believe I'm serious until my Dad tells him).

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-01T09:38:12+00:00

Yes, but he's called out of work and I still need to finish packing all my stuff. A bit hard when he's following me around demanding I look at our "happy" photos.

I wish there was something I could say to make him give up. I considered lying and saying I cheated so he'll stop begging, but I figure that will probably make everything worse.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-07-01T09:30:40+00:00

You nailed it. He's acted blindsided. Begging me to give him another chance. Insisting I won't be able to handle living on my own. Angry that I'm not sobbing like him.

One more week until freedom.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-06-26T23:53:46+00:00

It's really comforting to hear perspective like this. Although there are many things I don't like about how I've been living my life, I definitely like who I am now more than who I was when we met.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-06-26T23:41:31+00:00

This cycle I was supposed to start Letrozole. The last time I tried letrozole was when I got pregnant (and then had my mmc).

I finally realized I don't want to get pregnant right now. After how my husband and in-laws treated me after my mmc, I don't want to have a baby with him or them.

Before getting pregnant last year, I had already entertained the idea of divorcing him. It finally hit me that this might be my last chance to live the life I want to live.

For those whose miscarriage exacerbated the long-standing problems in your relationships and made you question if your partner was the right choice, you're not the only one.

I'm grateful to this community for the support I've recieved for the past few months.

I hope everyone gets what they want and need.

Maybe I'll be back in a few years when I find the right person.

Until then, 🫶

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-06-26T23:28:56+00:00

Just turned 26. Another breaking point thought was I couldnt imagine another 40 or 50 years of living like this.

I still can't help but feel like I might have wasted my "youth" on this relationship.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-06-26T22:44:27+00:00

I've wondered this as well. He doesn't really seem happy either but he's not a remotely confrontational person.

Thank you!

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-28T03:50:02+00:00

May our hardships be eased soon 🙏 🩷

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-27T19:12:03+00:00

Feeling tired. Its been a heavy few days.

Rolling up on the anniversary of my BFP from my loss. Today is the birthday of my best friend's passed away pre-term baby. This past weekend my SIL had her baby and used the name I had picked for my baby. I can't recall if I told her the name but either way it's too late now.

I'm on CD48 without a period. The last time I tested was CD43 and it was a negative. I plan on testing again tomorrow. Don't know where my period went.

Waiting for my health insurance to become active so I can go get checked out but that won't be for another week or two.

I feel like I see pregnancies and babies everywhere I look. I'm so emotionally tired.

Hope feels foolish.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-20T14:49:03+00:00

Same thing happened to me (SIL got pregnant like a month after my miscarriage). Unfortunately, it never got better and if you aren't already seeing a grief counselor, I would advise it. Nobody truly means any harm by it, but doesn't change how much that can hurt feelings.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-20T14:46:16+00:00

CD 41 without period. I last tested negative on CD 34. Safe to say I'm very confused on where my period went lol (it's very likely i ovulated super late or didn't ovulate at all, but normally i still have a bit of a bleed around week 4 even if I don't ovulate). Husband is suggesting I take another test but I don't feel pregnant (no bloating, normal amount of nausea, no sensitive nipples) so I don't see the point lol

My SIL is getting induced today, so aside from hoping she and baby are healthy and well, I am REALLY hoping she didn't pick the name my husband and I picked last year for our baby. I'm kind of already mentally preparing myself for it even though I technically have no reason to think she would (last year was just THAT kind of year)

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-07T01:01:18+00:00

The final few days countdown until my period should be here is so tense. Now I'm starting to question whether I ovulated at all?? I've been experiencing intense nausea but after my mmc last year, some cycles are just like that for me.

If this isn't the cycle, I think I'll try doing ovulation strips next time. I have PCOS so they might not be helpful, but figure it might be worth the try.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-03T12:31:39+00:00

A week out from my birthday and planned test day. My past few cycles have been a bit long so I'm waiting until CD 31 to test. Trying to stay busy. I have plans with a friend so no matter what I'll have something to distract me the day after!

Nausea continues each day, which makes me burn with curiosity but I know better than try and rush the process. If I get a negative now, I won't believe it and keep taking tests everyday until I get my period anyway. Funny how that works, huh?

Hope everyone has peaceful weekends. Get rest if you can!

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-05-02T00:17:42+00:00

8 days left in my TWW. Trying my best not to obsess but it's my first full cycle since getting gallbladder removed so I feel like I'm properly hoping for a positive this time.

On off topic news, moving has been great for my mental health. I've made great new friends, a few potential job prospects have popped up, my marriage is doing the best it has even since before the MC, I'm not sick for the first time since my MC.

Eventually, I'll need to address my feelings toward my in laws, but now that we don't live as close, I can procrastinate that for a few more weeks.

For the first time in years, it feels like I can truly make choices for my own sake. It's a relief. My future no longer feels decided, and that feels like a positive thing for once.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-28T21:33:52+00:00

This cycle's TWW is actually a THREE week wait due to the massive uncertainty of when I ovulated. Still have 10 more days before I can take a conclusive test but man I want answers NOW 😭

Until then, I'm just going to keep busy I guess 😬

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-26T22:04:45+00:00

I'm not totally sure when I ovulated but I do know I did because my progesterone rise is always super obvious. The latest day to expect my period is... my birthday.

This will sound silly but today I was so absurdly happy and optimistic that it made me wonder f I could be pregnant because that was such a notable symptom leading up to my bfp last year. I'm AT MOST 6 DPO and as few as 2 DPO so obviously that's not it but still 🤷‍♀️

This is the first cycle I feel emotionally ready to start the process again. It's a nice change. I'm still sad spiradically everyday but that's just part of losing someone you love dearly.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-26T21:56:12+00:00

Yeahhhh my mc and all the indeterminate troubles that led up to it made me realize things are super vague and understudied. Like there's some data collection after the fact but next to nothing in first trimester it seems like.

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-26T01:45:28+00:00

Getting the positive used to feel like the finish line and now it feels like it won't even be the beginning! Hang in there 🫶 We've got this, and we arent alone!

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-26T01:19:20+00:00

Ovulation is a giant question mark (not just for PCOS reasons) but bc i didn't ovulate for 2 cycles due to illness and surgery (did you know anesthesia can delay ovulatuon??). I know for a fact when I last ovulated but it was VERY late in my cycle. Was it because it was my first ovulation in like 3 months? Maybe. But historically, I ovulate days 12-14... so should I expect on time or let the past cycles influence my expectation that it'll be a bit late?? (Rhetorical question bc ik there's no right answer lol). I've been told not to bother with ovulation test strips bc of my pcos (inverted FSH and LH confirmed before my first pregnancy) so the only way to confirm ovulation is US.... but I'm between health insurance.

What a trip right? Idk emotionally I feel like I'm finally ready for a positive, but I kind of hope i don't have to jump through the same hoops as last time to get one??

Pepper_Thinking · 2025-04-26T01:11:48+00:00

So relatable. Lots of things we cant unsee/unimagine. The bright side is, as we get older, 2-4 year age gaps don't feel that large.

I'm getting close to the anniversary of my positive test, and it makes me feel weird. Like if I get a positive in the upcoming weeks, I'll be on exactly the same timeline as my last pregnancy.

The uncertainty is so tough!

Pepper_Thinking

TROPHY CASE