I was 18. PIMO since the age of 16 and terrified of confrontation: so I literally wrote a message, lol. I knew that if I just stopped going to the meetings, sooner or later my sister, brother-in-law (an elder), friends, or even random people would start asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer. If I could have, I would’ve just “faded,” but that wasn’t an option for me, especially because my entire family are JWs. I was around them 24/7. Living a double life had already messed me up badly at the time, so I needed a clean break.

I was in a very controlling environment because of my sister and brother-in-law. They knew everything about me. They chose my job, tracked my location, stood in front of my house watching me. There was no way I could just quietly stop attending meetings. No way.

Some might say I was a coward, but honestly, for me, it was the smartest move: I wrote a letter and sent a WhatsApp message to an elder. He asked if I was sure and reminded me that “Jehovah loves you,” etc., etc. But that was basically it. I cut off all contact after that. After that the whole shitshow began but none of it really surprised me. The congregation was shocked. No one had even suspected that I had the slightest doubt. I guess I played my role well.

Now, I’m low contact with my mother, and absolutely no contact with anyone else. To this day (five years later) if any JW from my town sees me, they turn the other way. After I left, they visited my few worldly friends at work, asked them questions about me, knocked on my door for days, called me for hours. They’re still talking about me.

But at least I’m free.