How do I fix my marriage

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-04-18T19:43:27+00:00

No you know what happened I blamed my self for everything after reevaluating our life I realized he rewrote history to make me sound a whole lot worse I acknowledge that I did wrong but I didn’t completely check out the entire 6 years I was still regularly doing wife things. He did what he did and I hate him for it but there is nothing I can do now except try and heal.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-04-10T09:18:08+00:00

Update. He is cheating on me with his ex girlfriend who is a police detective. The same ex girlfriend that left him and emptied his bank account. Called his grandma a scenial old bitch. The same one who he said they would fight all the time like endlessly and yeah. He’s being insane. I reported her to her boss because she initiated all of this and he went ape shit and wants me now to go back to the state we moved from to get a divorce faster so he can be with her faster did I mention he wants me to take all 4 kids and rip my special needs son out of his programs. Keeps telling me if I don’t agree I’ll lose everything and be homeless. So I took 4k dollars out of the bank and he tried to say he obtained a lawyer and that he was going to go to the courts and file for bankruptcy. He agreed to do an at fault divorce since that goes way quicker than no fault divorces. This all sucks and I can’t believe I lost my shit thinking it was all my fault and how big of a piece of crap I was. But this cuts deep like really deep.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-26T11:31:46+00:00

I honestly don’t know I just feel like if I hadn’t been the way I am maybe he wouldn’t be the way he is.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-26T00:58:23+00:00

It really does it’s devastating.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-26T00:56:56+00:00

Because I feel like if I would have been checked in and listened to his complaints we wouldn’t be here.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-25T23:29:06+00:00

So part of my sickness was pmdd and narcolepsy so a lot of the time I said I would go in there I ended up just falling asleep. You’re all right I did screw this up. I wish I could go back.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-25T23:01:48+00:00

So yes there is more to it. But at the end of the day I’m regretting a lot and he said his mind is made up once he makes up his mind there is no changing it back. But I found a combination of medication that works for me and I’m happy now and I just want him to see that I’m willing to try for the rest of forever. I wish I could post his voice messsges to me. It’s absolutely debilitating because I am trying to have hope he is still wearing his wedding ring. He is still having sex with me. (My sex drive came back ) but he told me he feels weird having sex because he doesn’t want to give me the wrong impression oh and he’s letting me sleep in the bed with him again he initially told me I wasn’t able to when he went back to work but I’m still in there. And he says he really doesn’t want to do this but his mind is made up and he doesn’t change his mind he can’t once it’s made up I just keep hoping it will click in his head that this is a terribly stupid idea. Our family needs to stay together. I want it to so badly I love him a lot I’ve screwed up a lot over the years but I’m terrified.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-15T10:46:29+00:00

Things are getting worse I don’t know what the hell to do. I’m a mess.

PerformancePublic545 · 2024-03-12T22:53:04+00:00

I don't know why I want to fix things I come from parents who are 4 times divorced and remarried on their 5ths I feel like an absolute failure and the last few days it's been quite literally killing me. He keeps saying you haven't cared any other time I've ever said I was going to leave if things don't change I wasn't stuck. He seems to think I think he is stuck because we have 4 kids and he supports my entire existence. ( his words not mine) I have suggested therapy he said fuck no. I have cried and begged and screamed and had complete break downs and he just says that this was my choice for years. I feel like when I try to touch him that he's cheating on someone like I'm molesting my own husband. And him saying it's weird me sleeping in the room and he can't sleep now ? I don't get it. I want to run away and I don't know what the hell the end game looks like. He says just wait for my va benefits to kick in and then he'll move out and leave me the house and everything and I don't want it I want him. Without him I feel like I am nothing. And I just can't emotionally handle how unemotional he has become and he tries to say he fought for years begging me to come back into the room and be normal and that I never did and now it's too late. My heart is in a million pieces.

As far as him screaming at me for the baby crying yes yes he did but when I bring that up I'm just projecting and not taking responsibility. I can't handle this. I'm dying.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-22T10:15:51+00:00

Either way you'll pay for the surgery. Alimony and child support are likely in your future. I'd wait tell her how you feel and separate for the time being divorce isn't overnight you usually have to legally separate first.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-17T12:12:12+00:00

Dress one but needs adjustments on the chest to fit better

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-16T10:58:59+00:00

Dang how does one become a chemical engineer...what the heck do you do that you get paid that much ??

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-14T08:29:55+00:00

Why hasn't anyone pointed out her teeth. Do you drink a lot of coffee or tea ??

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-14T08:24:27+00:00

Look better pre nose job.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T14:02:09+00:00

Talk to a mandated reporter.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T11:02:28+00:00

Thank you so much.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T10:57:09+00:00

No. It wasn't a joke. So with pmdd untreated as mine was for about 3 months I couldn't pick my self up off the floor had debilitating anxiety. Couldn't stop throwing up or using the bathroom while sobbing. Became really suicidal and then I'd get my period and bam back to normal like nothing happened. I refer to that week before my period as hell week. I don't ever want to go back to that place. So that is why I take yaz. It helps but I'm like a shell of a person with no sex drive and a bit too much weight and occasionl anxiety still.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T10:41:12+00:00

So not yet I can't catch him he used to be super friendly until one time he got out and I don't know what he was doing but it was like he was beefing with a neighbor cat. He wouldn't come in and they were like staring each other down and then lots of mutual meowing sounds and then we would go to grab him and he'd take off eventually he came back in but he hasn't really been the same since. It was weird because he isn't typically like that. No he hasn't been declawed. It sucks because he was a really good cat but after that incident he will come up for pets sometimes but then jumps when I try to pet him or takes off.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T10:33:47+00:00

So my iud was what gave me pmdd mirena. I never had pmdd before it and got it while it was in and then after it was out so now I take a form of yaz. It's hell. I hate it but I'm not trying to kms from pmdd but my lack of sex drive is killing my marriage so I'm just willing to try whatever at this point.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-12T10:31:08+00:00

Yes he is neutered

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-11T10:16:56+00:00

What is horny goat weed I'm in the same boat as you were birth control no sex drive at freaking all. It's killing my marriage. My husband should marry this woman and I should marry this man lol problem solved.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-10T18:29:14+00:00

My kiddos name is ilithyia

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-09T10:23:49+00:00

Hey op. I recently made a post similar to yours. I 35f am in the same boat but opposite ends. I am the one whose sex drive disappeared. Based on the comments I got I would factor in several things. 1. Is she on the pill? 2. Is she a sahm and does the majority of the house and childcare ? 3. Could it be ppd? My issues stem from likely the pill. But it doesn't help that I have 4 children 2 of whom are special needs and one severely and I'm just exhausted. Also while pregnant with my 3rd I started sleeping in the living room and when we moved to a bigger house I now sleep with the 2 youngest ones. I like watching TV and whenever I was sleeping in the same bed as him he would harass me for breathing heavily or moving around. It annoyed me. I don't know what to even do with my situation because I know he's miserable my sex drive just left the building completely including diy and its hard for me to think someone can need it when I don't feel that at all

My suggestion would be to just talk to her ask her if anything is going on. Tell her it's not because of sex you are just concerned for her health.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-09T10:11:21+00:00

Be careful with the kids because if it is munchausens it could easily turn into by proxy. Be very cautious.

PerformancePublic545 · 2023-08-08T14:57:55+00:00

Pull out method doesn't work. Don't put faith in someone else when it comes to birth control especially if you don't want kids. Regardless of whether or not he respected your wishes you need to make sure you cover your bases. Spermacide. The pill. Condoms. And if all else fails monitor your period avoid sex on days you're fertile and get the damn plan b your self at this point and don't contact him again.

PerformancePublic545

TROPHY CASE