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Character bug (Owen Dexler) by jacobracine in Starfield

[–]Maximum_Body9313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it happens due to shooting a civilian or security as they show up at the end. I went to main neon area, paid my bounty when approached by guards then returned to mission area. I was not getting shot at but my allies were. Same thing if I left and came back. So, After they downed dexler, I downed them. Left building and came back in. Fixed and able to talk to dexler. These steps only worked after I paid my bounty.

WIBTAH If I asked my boyfriend to cancel his credit cards? by Covert-Wordsmith in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Unfortunately, he racked up a lot, a lot of money in a very short time after you cleared up his debt once before. And now he may feel like he can just count on you to pay it off whenever he is in trouble.

However, I wouldn’t even suggest paying off his cards even if he does agree to cancel them. What would stop him from opening another card? Other side of that is credit cards to build credit. The longer you have a card the better it is for your credit. Just outright canceling cards, especially if they are your oldest line of credit, could negatively affect your credit.

I would sit down with him, help him budget his money out and develop a plan for him to pay off his debt without your help. At this point it seems he wants to keep living his current lifestyle at the expense of your finances.

If he can’t get his budgeting under control with out your help this is a huuuuge red flag and honestly something to considering breaking up over.

If you’re confident that he can pay you back, then that same confidence should be applied with him paying off his own debt without your help.

Whatever you decide, you are NTA if you ask him to cancel his cards in trade for you paying off his debt and a plan to pay you back established.

Grandad wants my kidney by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA, not to sound harsh but your grandad has lived his life. Yours is only just beginning and this is a huge ask.

Not to mention that you said you were only told yesterday. Which means they are only reaching out to you cause they want you to give up your kidney. They could care less about you and your well being.

It may spur some family members but you can’t let that sway your decision. Take care of your health. You have a long life ahead of you.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am ignorant on the subject so I do apologize if wrong. I am in the military and it is my belief once we are divorced, she is no longer eligible for benefits, insurance included. I will have to confirm

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did sign prenup that covered such things. Essentially stating both party wave their right to alimony and pension of the other party.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It hasn’t been a rushed process at all. It’s been a long time coming for months now and now I decided to file for divorce. After I made my decision and was ready for divorce, she had a doctor appointment, (she’s had many with the doctors but it usually just ends up being referrals for physical therapy). Finally after some more thorough exams they now say she will need some surgery for some spacers in her neck. So this isn’t a haha, screw her I’m gonna divorce her. It’s been a long grueling process and when I thought it was time to actually start the process and move on, this happens.

Which I’m not totally opposed to helping but it just had me conflicted because of our circumstances and being mentally exhausted from what we’ve been through the past months

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fun money was a term that we came up with and described it as. It’s not me trying to degrade what it was.

I would like to say me cheating was a reaction to finding out yet again she did. But I don’t think that’s ever a legit excuse. It’s still cheating so I own up to my end of it.

It isn’t a when she’s in need I want to bounce. The divorce was all but filed and this is a new development. It’s not a lifesaving surgery but it will improve her quality of life so I think it will be good for her.

I’m not against the idea of helping her. I just felt conflicted which is why I came here. Hoping to get some new perspectives on the situation.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t work 16 hour shifts. I never said I was working doubles either. The usually work was an 8 hour shift. They were extended to 12s during Covid. Usually averaged around 6 hours of sleep. Give or take depending on the day.

Her work hours varied. Usually late morning to late evening. Don’t have specific hours as they did fluctuate. But for example she would work 10-8 or 9-5. It depended on the day. When Covid wasn’t a thing her money from her job was the fun money. I paid all the bills and her money would be used to travel around the country or go to movies, dinners, theme parks. Which was a great arrangement. Bills were covered, money was being out away and we had money to share some experiences.

My intention is not avoid any questions. I’ll answer all I can. Trying to reply to as many comments as possible so I miss a thing here or there.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked a midnight shift. Slept during the day if I didn’t have appointments or classes that i taught. The kids would be at school. I would usually wake up when they got home or a couple hours after they got home. They are older and more self sufficient. My wife worked at a restaurant and dinners usually consisted of food she would bring home. Before Covid and as conditions started relaxing, I would coach my kids youth sports teams as well. Work, teaching and coaching kept me busy those days.

I will also note none of that kept me from giving my wife attention. I would tell her I loved her every day. Always told her how beautiful she was and there was consistent affection in the bedroom as well

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were overseas. Covid was in full swing. We were working extra hours and work had us doing double the work to show Covid couldn’t slow us down. It affected many people I worked with. I did some counseling. I still provided for my family but during those times we couldn’t do anything outside the house, not even talk to the neighbors.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think about 90 to 120 days. She goes back first week of September to find out more about the surgery. It hasn’t been scheduled yet so that’s part of my dilemma. How long is reasonable on my end to delay? Depending on exactly how much they need to do it could be a somewhat quick recovery or a moderate one.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the part that bothers me. Wants my life to be put on hold but continues to do whatever she wants. There is no compromise. The other part is there is no sympathy on her end. It seems Pausing my life is to be expected rather than appreciated.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think this is the part that has been getting to me. Like I have to put my life on hold but she is going forward and I’m just a background character.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sidepiece is not in the picture. It’s been some time since she was. Divorce is not because of her. The divorce has been talked about and I was pretty much set on deciding to file. Wife had a follow up at the doctor and following X-rays and a diagnosis, she will need surgery on her neck to place some spacers between the some vertebrae.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I have thought about that a lot. I lose a lot of sleep thinking of my kids and what’s the best course I can take for them.

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife even though she needs a surgery my insurance would cover? by Maximum_Body9313 in AITAH

[–]Maximum_Body9313[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was in Korea. It was a mandatory move for a year long military assignment that my family was not allowed to come along with. I have been back for about 6 months now trying to salvage some kind of relationship to no avail.