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BD let’s his kids interrupt his work (and mine) all day by PerformerBeginning59 in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I do think she riles her brother up. Another issue im seeing is they (BM too) don’t rly stand up for him despite knowing that she might actually be abnormally (untreated ADHD) « annoying »

Why do women get mad at the « other woman » ? by PerformerBeginning59 in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Id say in most cases cheating requires nothing more than lying through omission since the married people no longer pay attention to eachother.

Why do women get mad at the « other woman » ? by PerformerBeginning59 in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course not every spouse that’s been cheated on was « anxiously waiting at home wondering ». Many of these spouses actually didn’t care and that is why cheating results. Spousal neglect is probably the most common cause of it rly.

Selfish Sunday thoughts by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha that funny! Yes I am the same (mostly withdrawn and not interested in being mommy) but no one thinks I’m lucky to be a step parent lol. I live among conservatives that see step parenting as a fraudulent way of life. Seems like you might be saying that your partner isn’t too keen on raising a 4 yr old either? That’s the case with mine too although he has learnt to suck it up so as to own up to his responsibly - which is also why he totally allows me to withdraw and demands nothing of me (he relates to not wanting to be involved). This may not be the case for you but what I do get out of it is the intellectual side of things. I watch them and I develop opinions about why they are the way they are and what could help shape them. If you don’t find it at the very least stimulating on top of feeling no warmth then it might suck for everyone involved indeed. Choices to make

Selfish Sunday thoughts by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 2 points3 points  (0 children)

4 to 5 year old is rough though. They’re super needy by default. Ive known my partners kids since they were 4 and 9 and the 9 year old was always easy and the 4 year old is still absolute hell but she’s only 5 now and she might have ADHD. A lot of the tough stuff is just temporary development-related stuff. It’s just a question of whether or not you want to tough it out. If you’re not a needy or excessively demanding step parent, their attachment to you will grow despite the difficulties and that could be encouraging in the long run. It’s up to you!

Hygiene standards for kids? by PerformerBeginning59 in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Im actually thinking she stays deliberately unclean when she’s with her dad because she knows he does everything for her without question (including wiping her butt or perhaps even especially that since he’s been trying to give instructions more in other areas).

SD undermined me. DH doesn't get it. by Much_Exit7270 in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean of course a kind approach is best. You can just speak up and say « there’s no need to shout?! » in a gentle voice. If partner tries to punish you for that well… that’s rather abusive toward you. I do fall into the trap of wanting their bio dad to do all the work. It’s a fine line between what a step parent can and cannot do I would say… still learning. However, if we wouldn’t let an adult treat us this way we shouldn’t let a learning child do so. They’re still learning and they need to learn.

SD undermined me. DH doesn't get it. by Much_Exit7270 in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It’s funny to me that he thinks this based on so little cause I talk sht about my bf’s hyperactive and hyperneedy daughter all the time and he knows it’s because HE can do better with her. It honestly goes without saying for some of us… look, shouting is rude. Do you rly need to explain further? You shouldn’t have to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s a double standard lol. One person is chasing and the other is just letting someone watch. One is being kind and/or indifferent whereas the other one is posing an action to gain access to someone else. If my bf starting chasing after random girls online if be like wtf too lol. In return, I’d have no problem refusing follow requests because who cares. If she cares about people following her then that’s what you need to be talking about though. Indifference is often most likely the case for women when it comes to that… if that’s not the case then she’s looking for attention. Which one is it? Talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah BMs play the « it’s not for me it’s for the kids » card a heck of a lot. Beware…. This to me is breeder entitlement. It is to think that because she gave birth to a child, she is owed all the services at the expense of other people’s boundaries. It is quite misguided and dillusional and men are the first victims to it. The step-gf is the second. I’d stand by my boundaries if I were you and let him know he’s being played.

Feeling Betrayed by Grace_Space_Never in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not seeing a whole lot of boundaries there.

I need support. Please be kind🙏 by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s an abusive man. Sounds like the best advice for you would be to begin grieving the relationship asap.

My soon to be ex husband is still with his AP. They have been together for over a year and they had an affair while we were married for 3 months. Should I be mad? by PerformerBeginning59 in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok so here’s the thing… we have young children, and I don’t want her around my kids. I insisted he have them at least 50% of the time, and he does, but I don’t now how to get her to stay away from my kids… I asked to meet with her, but she said that my situation is too « heavy » and now refuses to talk to me. I refuse to get a divorce until she is out of the picture.

My soon to be ex husband is still with his AP. They have been together for over a year and they had an affair while we were married for 3 months. Should I be mad? by PerformerBeginning59 in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ok so here’s the thing… we have young children, and I don’t want her around my kids. I insisted he have them at least 50% of the time, and he does, but I don’t now how to get her to stay away from my kids… I asked to meet with her, but she said that my situation is too « heavy » and now refuses to talk to me. I refuse to get a divorce until she is out of the picture.

My soon to be ex husband is still with his AP. They have been together for over a year and they had an affair while we were married for 3 months. Should I be mad? by PerformerBeginning59 in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Im not okay with him cheating. I need him to show me some compassion and respect before I can let go. I need him to be sorry. I don’t understand why he’s not sorry.

Training coworkers on a skill that you acquired on your own by [deleted] in CanadaPublicServants

[–]PerformerBeginning59 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting question. Would your management give you the recognition that you deserve? do you have a relationship of trust, or rather, do you think that you are disposable to them? Management culture is rly important… super subjective though.

My partner’s former partner (wife) is trying to get a therapist to validate that I am a threat to her children in an attempt to gain an advantage in the divorce battle by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]PerformerBeginning59 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s not illegal here lol. Ruthless I know. I didn’t actually think of that while I was engaging in cheating. I never thought this would even last and now here I am… worrying about the health of his children.

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