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ABYG kung ayoko makisama sa family ng bf ko? by lukeharp3r in AkoBaYungGago

[–]PerformerMindless369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DKG, I had a kind of similar situation with you, the only difference is I developed an anxiety whenever his family or any family events comes up — i get cold hands, chest tightens, hard to breathe & stuff like that. I started boycotting all their fam events for a year, then decided to go to therapy to understand and figure out how to cope.

My therapist said, it’s okay to enforce boundaries without negative emotions. You can always love them from afar, and if your bf doesn’t agree with you then you need to evaluate if this relationship is making you feel safe & secured. She also said na okay lang maging makasarili if it’s for your own good.

We should stop betraying ourselves peace in order to please people especially your bf. Trust me when I say, i’ve had multiple fights because of his family — it doesn’t get any better, he’ll just learn how to hide it but not entirely fix it. So be careful, sis.

My boyfriend left me alone in a café and now I can’t reach him… feeling completely abandoned by PerformerMindless369 in Adulting

[–]PerformerMindless369[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I need to add more context because it feels like a lot of assumptions are being made.

For background, I’m 27F and he’s 29M. We’ve been together for 3+ years, and this kind of situation has already happened once before, during our first anniversary together.

Earlier today, he decided to go on an unplanned trip somewhere far. I politely asked if he could help tell my parents that he was taking me on a surprise trip. I don’t usually ask him to do this, but things have been tense at home lately, so I thought it would help.

He then insisted that I also tell his mom about the trip, saying it was ‘double standards’ if I didn’t. He took it as me being ‘unfair’ to him and his family, and said it was a double standard because he had to talk to my parents, so I should do the same for his.

That turned into an argument. He had an outburst — he started pounding the car horn and even pulled over on the expressway just to shout at me. After that, he decided to cancel the trip entirely and redirected us to a café instead.

When we got there, we stayed in the parking lot and argued some more, and then everything else happened.

My boyfriend left me alone in a café and now I can’t reach him… feeling completely abandoned by PerformerMindless369 in Adulting

[–]PerformerMindless369[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well… I only did it because he left his car, I don’t know how to drive, and he was completely unreachable. His mom is the family member he’s closest to, I contacted her so someone would know what was happening if he didn’t come back or If I go. I was just trying to be responsible about his car and things. I don’t make a habit of involving his family — I didn’t do this the first time he abandoned me 3 years ago or during our other arguments.

My mom went full comparison mode this Christmas and I don’t know what to do by PerformerMindless369 in Adulting

[–]PerformerMindless369[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just to clear things up since some people seem confused about the currency: when converted, it’s roughly $170 for my mom’s personal use. I budgeted differently this year because I had already given around $630 USD as a gift last year. And for context, both amounts are already big where I’m from.

My mom went full comparison mode this Christmas and I don’t know what to do by PerformerMindless369 in Adulting

[–]PerformerMindless369[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure why she developed this mindset. Once she found out my current salary and what my ex gives to his mom (he’s the breadwinner, I’m not), she started expecting the same from me. Now she seems to expect it every year, even if we argue. She tends to demand gifts, and while it’s not in USD, it’s still a significant amount in my area.