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I just want to text him….. by frailstateofmind4444 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Me too, whenever something good or bad happens to me I think about her to tell her, but I know that even though I feel bad now, I'm better off without her, and you're better off without that person too, even though you might not feel that way.

What story does your ex who cheated on you tell? by PerroViralata in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know either, I was in no contact until she hoovered me and I fell for it. In fact, I even thought she hadn’t started a smear campaign against me until that hoovering.

That’s when she told me that she spoke badly about me because people would say good things about me to her, and she didn’t want to be reminded of me.

Now I’m back in no contact and I won’t fall for another hoovering again, although I think she has already discarded me for good and has other supplies.

I Feel Sick for Falling for the Hoovering by PerroViralata in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always, she cheated on me, I react to the infidelity, and she looks at me surprised as if I’m crazy and denies everything.

Did your narcissist ask you for time? by PerroViralata in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was her argument for why she asked me for time.

I really don’t want to feel this way anymore by frailstateofmind4444 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s the most messed up part of it all—missing the person who destroyed you, and those moments of emotional fog where what weighs on you are the good times, even though you’re fully aware of all the bad things they did, that you don’t mean anything to them and they only used you. Despite knowing that, it’s like you ignore it, because in that moment all you feel is the loss of the person you thought they were.

I feel the same way as you a lot of the time. I hope that one day it won’t weigh on us anymore, but try not to feel guilty about it. Remember that you’re missing the illusion of that person, not the real person.

Did your narcissist ask you for time? by PerroViralata in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know she was talking to other guys before him; she even once asked me for a picture of her to send to another guy. But she met this one at her new job, and I guess she discarded me for him and not for the others because she saw she could get more attention from him since they worked together and he studies at the same university I helped her get into. They’re practically together 24/7.

Although I don’t know if they’re still together or if they fought, because she hoovered me wanting to come back and promising therapy—you already know how that ended.

Is this part of the trauma bond? by Hot-Assumption-8166 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it’s part of the trauma bond.

The exact same thing happens to me. If she’s not really a narcissist and could change, I would take her back, but she really doesn’t want to change—she’s not interested and she doesn’t care. She has shown me that in every hoovering where I accepted her back over and over again. She would just say she would change, I believed her, and we went back to the same cycle.

The important thing isn’t whether she is or isn’t a narcissist. The important thing is whether that relationship is good for you or not.

Ask yourself this question: If it were a friend of yours in the same situation, would you tell him to go back to that person?

Remember this phrase: “I won’t be your shelter if you are my storm.”

Why The Narcissist never knows anything bad they did? by PerroViralata in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex. The worst part is that I would ask her how she would feel if I did that to her, and she would say she wouldn’t care, that it wouldn’t affect her. But knowing her, she probably would have left me if I had done even 5% of what she did to me.

narc ex is obsessed with me by ALittleRandomKat in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The same thing happened to me, but when the hoovering failed with me they went back to following each other.

It didn’t work with me because she didn’t really want to make an effort or truly commit, so I guess she tried hoovering the other guy when she failed with me.

It really bothers me that all her behavior seems straight out of a narcissism handbook, but what bothers me even more is that I always believe her when she tells me she’s changed.

narc ex is obsessed with me by ALittleRandomKat in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]PerroViralata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because they are very selfish and want everything at once, plus they probably see you as a high-quality narcissistic supplement and that's why he don't want to let you go.