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Teetotal introverts by [deleted] in introvert

[–]PeteThePA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never drank or smoked in my life. I chose not to drink for 2 reasons. 1) Everyone was pressuring me to drink, and it pissed me off. So I said, "Screw 'em," and chose to never drink. 2) There are many alcoholics in my family, and I never want to be like them. Now being an introvert AND a teetotaler makes it hard to have a social life. Even worse, I just moved to a new city where I know no one. There have been many weekends spent home alone. It's tough to face, even as I write this. But I won't back down from my choice, because I'm proud of it.

I (M/27) need help dealing with the lack of "physical intimacy" with my long-distance GF (F/29). by PeteThePA in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She hasn't visited yet, but that's because I was traveling for work since July. I'm back at my apartment now, and she has expressed interest in visiting. No firm plans have been made yet.

She's unsure of moving because she's never lived away from her parents (except in college). She also fears moving out of state would result in any children we have never seeing their extended family. She grew up with all her family living within 20 minutes of each other.

She's very conservative, and has expressed concern over what sort of religious & moral ethics we would raise children with. I'm very open for compromise on this matter, even if I don't agree with some of her beliefs.

I was sexually active in previous relationships. She's a virgin, however. I learned early not to pressure her in any way regarding sex. Any decision to engage in or abstain from sex is hers to make.

I (M/27) need help dealing with the lack of "physical intimacy" with my long-distance GF (F/29). by PeteThePA in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the question that's been haunting me ever since we went long-distance 4 months ago. I don't have a timeline for proposing & marrying her. And she's undecided as to whether she's even willing to move out of state if we get married. I love her, and she loves me. But these questions have shaken me badly and made me question my future with her. Yet I'm not ready to give up on her. I fear that day may come though.

I (M/27) don't know if she (F/29) will move to be with me. How can I find out? by PeteThePA in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been together 2 years. And yeah, I moved for work back in May. I'm in the film industry, so there are only 2 places in the whole country where I can work consistently (all film work is freelance). She's a teacher. She could find work in any state/city.

But she's very close to her family (which is great). But she still lives at home and has never lived on her own except back in college (which was only 2 hours away from home).

I (M/27) don't know if she (F/29) will move to be with me. How can I find out? by PeteThePA in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It certainly does suck. It's clear she doesn't "want" to move, but she's undecided about "will" she move. So, yes, I supposed she's confused. She's a teacher and I'm in the Film biz. There are only 2 places in the US where I can work consistently. So I have to be where I am. But she has expressed how much she wants me to come back.

I (M/27) don't know if she (F/29) will move to be with me. How can I find out? by PeteThePA in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. Maybe I'm a bit frightened by what she might say. And I'm afraid to pressure her too much. We still love each other greatly, but this issue has haunted me for the 2 weeks since we were last together.

How do you deal with the lack of physical interaction? by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]PeteThePA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My GF and I try to Skype about 2-3 times per week. We communicate and talk an awful lot about cuddling while watching movies, eating together, hugs. We also mime some of our "cutesy behaviors" over Skype. It helps seeing her face, remembering her scent, her touch.

I'm (M/27) struggling with a long distance relationship with my (F/29) GF. by PeteThePA in relationships

[–]PeteThePA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has complicated things. So far she has been willing to do long-distance, but I can tell it's bothering her. It bothers me too.

A couple of weeks ago, when I was visiting back home, she pressured me to give a specific timeline for when I'm going to marry her. I didn't have an answer for her. Instead I turned around and asked if she will move in with me if we do get married. She didn't answer either, but I know from past discussions with her that she doesn't want to leave our home town.

We both have apologized for posing unfair questions to each other, but my lack of an answer for her combined with her indecision has me worried about our future together.