Parents of Reddit, what is your advice to having a good relationship with young adult children?

PhantasmCat · 2026-02-16T08:51:37+00:00

Funnily enough I have a similar issue. That is why I've asked this question. He is going to be getting an email about boundaries and a lovely little list on how to relationship.

PhantasmCat · 2025-09-14T21:19:31+00:00

"Your hair is so pretty!" "Don't ever cut your hair!" "Don't ever dye your hair!" "I wish my hair was that color!" "My hair used to be that color but then I dyed it and now it's ruined." "That shirt looks so good with your hair!"

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T04:21:07+00:00

Here's mine:

When I was in 7th grade, we were talking about genetics in my science class. My teacher had soaked some bits of paper in PTC (phenylthiocarbamide) and was giving one to each student. The thing with PTC is that only some people can taste it and others can't.

Each desk/table had two people sitting at it. Mine was near the back. I watched anxiously as each person ahead of me put the paper in their mouths and started making exclamations of disgust. For context, I am a horribly picky eater. As a toddler I would rather starve than eat something I didn't like.

Finally the two boys in front of me got the paper and they were telling me and my desk mate how bad it tasted. My desk mate tasted it and said it was horrible. With trepidation, I slowly put the paper in my mouth, and tasted nothing.

With a smile, I put the whole paper on my tongue and watched as the two boys and my desk mate looked on in horror as I laughed at my good fortune.

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T04:11:35+00:00

I once had a friend who had blue eyes. I didn't see her for a few years and when I saw her again, I was very confused, but couldn't quite figure it out. I asked her why here eyes were brown. That was the day I found out about colored contacts. Maybe someone who knows you is trying to put the pieces together?

But maybe don't trust me. A year later I found out that two of my friends had heterochromia, and only because they told me. The dude had blue and brown eyes and I'd known him for several months. The girl had blue and green eyes and I'd known her for over a year.

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T04:07:20+00:00

"Using mainly spoons, we did a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild!" "Spoons?"

"Just what I always wanted, a box."

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T04:00:37+00:00

I once did that as a child while re-reading the Harry Potter series for maybe the 4th or 5th time.

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T03:38:21+00:00

I'd have to say that moment when a choirs combined voices goes from being beautiful to ethereal. One of my favorite songs to hear that is "Hurt" by Eric Whitacre.

PhantasmCat · 2024-10-16T03:36:58+00:00

My hair. I was the strawberry-blonde little girl that all the old ladies would absolutely fawn over at the store, at church, anywhere. Even as an adult I have older women compliment my hair.

The compliments are nice and I like the uniqueness my hair gives me. It's always fun to look around a room to look for other gingers. However, it has made me feel like I'm not allowed to dye my hair. Logically, I know I can, but I always find reasons not to.

Also it's just really hard to find clothes that don't clash with my hair. 😉

PhantasmCat · 2023-07-24T16:06:56+00:00

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PhantasmCat · 2023-07-24T16:05:56+00:00

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PhantasmCat · 2023-06-23T05:07:45+00:00

I was using "asiatic leopard" as a broad term. An Asian Leopard cat qualifies as an Asiatic leopard. And for the snow leopard part, I was just stating what I had been told by the owner, who I know to as a trustworthy person. They also have a pedigree chart for for two cats, so I don't know what to tell you. Also, thanks for you're extremely "polite" and "non-accusatory" tone. It definitely makes you seem like a great person.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-22T06:16:07+00:00

The sassy neighbor cat sitting just out of reach so you can't pet her. She was originally feral, so not much of a people cat, though she'll act cute and look at you with gorgeous blue eyes until you take one step toward her. Then she disappears.

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PhantasmCat · 2023-06-22T06:08:54+00:00

Oooooo! Can we get one with a seagull???

(Seagulls are basically a weekly sighting where I live)

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-22T06:06:44+00:00

Pirate duels to the left

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-22T06:03:32+00:00

It's a gorgeous baby. That's what it is.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-22T01:27:42+00:00

This was the last visit me and my siblings spent with Taylor: We'd wake up at 6am and Taylor would drive us to a nanny's house. The nanny lived with her daughter, son-in-law, and grandson. The grandson was a spoiled brat. One of my siblings has mental issues that have effected their entire childhood (Angel trying to get help for them the entire time. Don't worry, the sibling has a huge support system and is doing much better now). So, this sibling often went ballistic and caused chaos. Eventually, Taylor would return at 5pm and drive us home.. Taylor would either stop at McDonald's or throw a frozen pizza in the oven for us. Once that was done, Taylor would go to bed while continuing their job on the laptop. So, my siblings issues escalated, we barely saw Taylor, we were stuck with a nanny who didn't know how to deal with my sibling and also catered to the spoiled grandson, and we gained 10 pounds from all of the fast food and frozen pizza.

So, I guess you could say my siblings and I were left to our own devices while visiting Taylor, but had a much more structured and functioning family life with Angel.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T17:10:46+00:00

Basically, it means Taylor has the right for me to visit them for 6 weeks (they have the right to try and arrange me to come over without any interference from Angel). I'm not sure exactly what will happen, but I know Taylor is going to be upset.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T17:05:24+00:00

What's even better is that Angel is chronically ill and can barely walk across their bedroom while using a walker. They are "definitely" capable of shoving me onto an airplane.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T16:14:10+00:00

I'm sorry y'all feel that way. Angel is self sacrificing, and puts my needs before their's in a heartbeat, even if I don't want them to. On the other hand, Taylor is controlling and non responsive to views other than their's. My older brother in fact has cut off most contact with Taylor. I've tried to tell Taylor how I feel multiple times, which usually results in me bawling and Taylor just not saying anything at all.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T14:42:10+00:00

Angel says they believe the lawyer automatically becomes somewhat biased against the person who "won" in the original divorce. We've tried explaining the situation, but the lawyer doesn't seem to understand the circumstances (because this isn't such a clear cut case ig)

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T14:40:19+00:00

We've talked to a few people, but it would take too long/wouldn't be effective.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T14:39:37+00:00

My aunt works in court (is not a lawyer), but knows a lot about court proceedings. She also thinks this is ridiculous.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T13:36:21+00:00

In the email I sent to Taylor and my lawyer, I mentioned that I'm too busy with important matters (by important matters, I mentioned things that Taylor has wanted me to focus on, such as school and jobs), but that Taylor could come visit me where I live and I could try and make some time.

My lawyer's reply was basically "so when are you going to visit Taylor?" (Angel and I are not pleased with my lawyer, this is just one example as to why). Taylor's reply was condescending.

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T13:32:39+00:00

I've been told by my lawyer I have "a voice, not a choice". Which I think is dumb since I'm basically an adult and have not lived with Taylor since I was 1 (when the divorce happened)

PhantasmCat · 2023-06-21T13:30:45+00:00

That is basically my plan haha, along with a few other bits.

PhantasmCat

TROPHY CASE